Feeling Disconnected? Here’s a Gentle Way to Reconnect With Yourself
What if you didn’t need fixing?
It’s easy to believe we’re supposed to have ourselves sorted by now — that we should already know what we need, how to feel better, and how to move through our days without faltering. But what if the real work wasn’t in fixing or figuring it all out? What if it was something quieter?
In this week’s episode of A Thought I Kept, I spoke with therapist Sarah Rees about the idea that’s stayed with her over the years:
““The most important relationship we have is the one we have with ourselves.””
The Tools We Think We Need
It’s tempting to rush to tools, techniques, productivity hacks, or another podcast episode that promises to fix whatever feels off. Sarah shared how, early in her training, she felt the same pull: to reach outside of herself for answers — to search for the next solution, the next strategy.
But the turning point came when she learned that compassion isn’t about quick fixes. It begins with turning toward ourselves. It’s about recognising that we’re already carrying a lot — and that maybe, just maybe, we don’t need to add more.
Why It’s Hard to Slow Down
So many of us are doing our best in lives that are full to the brim. Slowing down sounds lovely in theory — but in reality, it can feel uncomfortable. Almost unfamiliar.
We might not even realise we’re bypassing our own needs until something forces us to stop. Sarah put it beautifully:
““I work with lots of people who’ve lost the cues of hunger and thirst — they even forget to go to the toilet because they’re so out of touch with themselves.””
We’re living at a pace that often disconnects us from the simplest things — not just our feelings, but our bodies too.
A Small, Everyday Shift
So what do we do instead?
We slow things down.
We check in.
Not in a capital-S Self-Care way, but in the quiet way you might check in on a friend. Gently. Without judgement.
It might look like:
Setting a tiny reminder on your phone to pause.
Noticing how your body feels while waiting for the kettle to boil.
Asking: “What do I need right now?” — and really listening to the answer.
Journaling just one line a day to notice what’s going on beneath the surface.
These moments — these white spaces — become places where we reconnect with ourselves. Where we don’t have to be productive or polished or perfect. We just have to be.
It’s Not About Doing More
Here’s the thing: the goal isn’t to get better at wellbeing. It’s not another thing to add to your list.
It’s about making space to meet yourself again, in a world that constantly pulls your attention elsewhere.
Maybe that starts with checking in. Maybe it means resting when you thought you should be pushing. Maybe it’s reminding yourself that your emotional life doesn’t need to be neat and tidy.
If You’re Feeling a Bit Lost
This episode is for you if you’re feeling overwhelmed, unsure, or just… a little out of sync with yourself.
And if you want to explore this more — in a grounded, everyday way — we offer 1:1 coaching sessions designed to help you get back in touch with yourself.
Explore how our coaching sessions can support you
(Or get in touch if you’re not quite sure what you need yet — we’ll figure it out together.)
When was the last time you asked yourself, “What do I really need right now?”
