Aug 11

Aug 11 Are Your Strengths Helping You… or Draining You?

If you’ve ever been told you’re really good at something but secretly wished you never had to do it again, you’re not alone. Many of us mistake competence for calling — and that can leave us stuck in roles that don’t energise us or move us closer to the life we want.

Being good at something doesn’t always mean it’s a strength worth building your career or purpose around.

This is exactly what we explore in the latest episode of our podcast, A Thought I Kept, where I speak with my friend Irena Meštrović Štajduhar about rethinking strengths and finding joy in the things that truly light you up.

Rethinking What “Strength” Means

Traditionally, strengths are defined as the skills and qualities you excel at — often reflected back to you by teachers, managers, and peers. This sounds straightforward, but it’s flawed:

It prioritises what’s visible to others over what’s valuable to you.
It can trap you in roles or habits that no longer fit.

Research by Marcus Buckingham, a leading strengths researcher, flips this definition on its head. He defines a strength as:

“Any activity that strengthens you. Before you do it, you look forward to it. While you do it, time flies. After you do it, you feel energised and you’ve learned something new — even if you’re not yet good at it.”

This shift matters. It means a true strength isn’t just about performance — it’s about energy, engagement, and personal fulfilment.

Why We Get Stuck in the Wrong Strengths

Irena describes this as a byproduct of internalised capitalism: the belief that our value comes from producing measurable outcomes. If a skill can be easily quantified — spreadsheets balanced, deadlines met, reports delivered — it’s more likely to be praised, promoted, and prioritised, regardless of how it makes us feel.

Over time, we start identifying with these externally recognised strengths, even when they leave us flat or burnt out.

This isn’t just anecdotal. Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace 2024 report found that only 21% of employees worldwide are engaged in their work — and one key driver of engagement is the opportunity to “do what you do best” regularly. But if “what you do best” isn’t aligned with what you love, engagement and purpose both suffer.

How to Identify Your Energising Strengths

If you’re wondering whether your strengths are the right ones to build your next career step around, start here:

1. Notice your “energy spikes.”

Over the next two weeks, jot down activities you look forward to, lose track of time doing, or feel energised by afterwards.

2. Separate skill from joy.

List the things you’re good at — then circle only the ones that also make you feel alive. (The others may be “competencies,” but they aren’t necessarily strengths to nurture.)

3. Test your curiosity.

If you weren’t paid for it, would you still choose to do it? If the answer’s yes, you’ve found a clue to your real strengths.

4. Look for patterns.

Are your energising strengths about creating, connecting, problem-solving, teaching, organising, or something else? These patterns can point toward your purpose.

5. Connect them to your future.

Ask: “How could I bring more of these strengths into my current role — or into the next chapter of my career?”

Strengths, Purpose, and Career Next Steps

Finding your strengths isn’t just about self-knowledge — it’s about creating a more purposeful direction in your work and life. According to Harvard Business Review, people who use their strengths daily report higher job satisfaction, resilience, and overall well-being.

That doesn’t mean quitting your job tomorrow to chase a passion project. It might mean redesigning parts of your role, volunteering for projects that energise you, or exploring side ventures that let you lean into these strengths.

Over time, the more you align what you’re good at with what you love, the closer you get to a career and life that feel both meaningful and sustainable.