“I Feel Disconnected from Myself”: What That Means and How to Gently Reconnect
What does it mean to feel disconnected from yourself?
If you’ve ever caught yourself saying, “I don’t even know who I am anymore”, you’re not alone.
Maybe you’re functioning — showing up to work, replying to texts, putting dinner on the table. But something feels off. It’s like your life is happening around you, not with you in it. You feel like a background character in your own story.
You might be:
Forgetting what used to bring you joy
Snapping at the people you love and not knowing why
Looking in the mirror and barely recognising the person staring back
Feeling emotionally flat one minute, anxious or overwhelmed the next
Wondering if this is burnout… or just how life is now
These feelings are hard to articulate — and even harder to admit. But they’re not a failure on your part. They’re signs that you’ve lost connection with yourself. And they’re more common than you think.
Why it happens
Disconnection often creeps in quietly.
You get busy. You keep going. You take care of the people around you. You do what needs to be done.
And somewhere along the way, you stop asking:
What do I want?
What matters to me now?
How do I feel, really?
Life piles up. Responsibilities grow. Your attention goes everywhere but inward. Over time, you become more like a to-do list than a person. You might still smile and perform, but inside, something is missing. You’re exhausted — not just physically, but emotionally. And the idea of pausing to tune into yourself? That feels overwhelming too.
You are not broken — you’re just worn thin
Feeling disconnected doesn’t mean you’ve failed at life. It doesn’t mean you need to start over, or reinvent yourself, or fix everything overnight.
It means you’ve been surviving, not thriving.
And it’s entirely possible — with kindness and support — to shift from that place of disconnection into one that feels calmer, more anchored, and more you.
Small ways to begin reconnecting with yourself
Here are some gentle ways to start rebuilding that connection:
1. Name what you’re feeling
It might be sadness, confusion, frustration — or all of it. Putting words to emotions can reduce their hold over you. Try journaling a few lines without pressure. Start with: “Right now, I feel…”
2. Take one small “self” moment a day
Not bubble baths or detox teas (unless those truly help you). Think: a quiet coffee, standing in the sun, turning your phone off for ten minutes. Reclaim tiny moments of stillness that are yours.
3. Reconnect with your senses
When you feel numb or distant, grounding through the senses helps. Step outside and notice five things you can hear. Light a candle you love. Put on music from a time when you felt more like yourself.
4. Talk to someone who can help
Sometimes we need another person to hold up a mirror — not to judge, but to witness. A coach can help you explore where you are, what matters to you now, and what’s possible from here.
What would it feel like to feel more like yourself again?
If this speaks to how you’re feeling, you're not alone — and you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself.
I work with women in midlife who are navigating burnout, low self-esteem, anxiety, and a deep disconnection from themselves. Through warm, non-judgemental coaching, we create a way back to your confidence, energy and emotional wellbeing — one small step at a time.
Book a free 20-minute discovery call to see how we might work together or learn more about my coaching sessions here.
Even if you’re not sure what you need, reaching out could be your first moment of reconnection.
