Unwind your summer: Simple tips for a stress-free season

Summer is here, and with it, visions of beaches, BBQs, and long, sunny days. It's a season filled with the promise of relaxation and adventure, conjuring up nostalgic memories of childhood summers spent chasing ice cream trucks and playing hide and seek. But for many of us, summer can also bring a unique set of pressures. How do we balance the desire for a perfect summer with the realities of our busy lives?

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Turning chaos into calm: Real-life summer stories

We understand. Claire is currently gearing up for summer with her kids almost out of school, feeling the excitement but also the stress of juggling everything. Amanda, already mid-summer, is balancing early morning work sessions with family adventures. Sound familiar? Whether you’re prepping for summer or needing a mid-season reset, we’ve got the perfect solution.

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Transform your summer in just 10 minutes a day

Introducing our Summer Wellcation course! Designed to help you stay connected with yourself and your loved ones while disconnecting from tech, this course fits seamlessly into your busy schedule. With just 10 minutes a day for 4 weeks, you can create the summer you need right now.

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Imagine a summer of play

Imagine a summer where you find time for yourself every day, strengthen your relationships, and enjoy tech-free moments. Our engaging activities and quick lessons will help you achieve just that. Join us now and make this summer one to remember.

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What we’ll cover:

• How to Stay Connected to Yourself:

  Discover the magic of summer for yourself with 10 minutes of daily “me time”.

• How to Stay Connected with Others:

  Rekindle friendships, start new ones, or host intimate gatherings.

• How to Disconnect from Tech:

  Learn digital well-being practices to reduce screen time for you and your family.

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P.S. Follow us on Instagram for more summer wellbeing tips!

Visit our Instragram

Feeling Overwhelmed? Discover the Transformative Power of Nature

Are you overwhelmed by the demands of modern life? We often turn to productivity hacks and scheduling apps to help us manage everything better. But we can also turn to something else, the transformative power of nature to bring calm and clarity to our minds and souls.

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The overwhelm of modern life: Navigating stress and finding balance

Life can be overwhelming, with constant stressors and the ever-present demands of work, family, and social obligations. Feeling lost and out of balance can start to feel like a daily struggle. The days can often feel like a whirlwind of activities and tasks, leaving little time for relaxation and self-care. This constant state of busyness can lead to exhaustion and a deep sense of disconnection. The pressures of modern living can take a significant toll on our mental health too, leading to anxiety and depression.

The good news is that nature offers a powerful antidote to the chaos of modern life. Spending time in nature has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being. It's a simple yet effective way to find calm and reconnect with yourself.

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Embracing nature: Daily practices for calm and clarity

Here are some ways to incorporate the healing power of nature into your life:

 1. Take Daily Walks:

Incorporate a daily walk into your routine, whether it's a stroll through a local park or a hike in the woods. Walking in nature helps clear your mind and reduces stress.

2. Create a Nature Corner:

If you can't get outside, bring nature indoors. Create a small nature corner in your home with plants, natural light, and soothing elements like water fountains or nature sounds.

3. Plan Nature Getaways:

Make time for regular getaways to natural settings. Whether it's a weekend camping trip or a visit to the beach, these breaks can rejuvenate your mind and body.

4. Practice Mindful Observation:

Spend time mindfully observing the natural world around you. Notice the colors, shapes, and sounds of nature, and let yourself be fully present in the moment.

 5. Engage in Outdoor Activities:

Explore outdoor activities that bring you joy, such as gardening, birdwatching, or star gazing. These activities can deepen your connection to nature and provide a sense of peace.

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Finding calm in chaos: Nature's path to mental clarity

By embracing nature, you can find a sense of calm and clarity that helps you navigate the challenges of everyday life. The beauty and tranquility of the natural world offer a powerful way to reconnect with yourself and find balance.

Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, get into nature. It might help you find clarity and feel lighter.

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Find your way through overwhelm with nature’s help

Ready to reduce stress and enhance your emotional wellness? Discover the positive impacts of nature with our course, 'Find Your Way.'

Learn practical strategies to connect with nature and improve your mental health. Enroll now and start your journey towards a more balanced and fulfilled life!

Discover your perfect summer camp | Our favourite UK wellbeing escapes

Are you looking for a different kind of summer escape? From magical gatherings in Wales to Californian surfing outside Bristol, explore our favourite summer destinations for seeking connection, fun, and the great outdoors. Explore our guide to find your perfect summer camp for both grown-ups and the rest of the family. There’s even one for the entrepreneurial-minded…

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Fforest | Connect with the magic of gathering

Fforest defies simple categorization — it's not just a glamping site, nature retreat, or eco camp but a mix of all three. Conceived by London creatives Sian Tucker and James Lynch, Fforest is a beautifully crafted vision brought to life on 500 acres of Welsh countryside. Here, amidst geodesic domes, hill and garden shacs, crog lofts, a stone farmhouse, and Kata Cabins, luxury meets handmade charm.

Each choice of accommodation is thoughtfully furnished with craft furniture, Welsh woollen blankets, and delightful touches like wildflowers in enamel jugs. While at Fforest, indulge in a variety of unique local experiences. Savor a pizza night in their tented restaurant in Cardigan or a woodland supper at Hydref, where sustainability meets deliciousness. Explore ‘the bwythn’, a tiny pub serving its own IPA, or relax in a cedar barrel sauna.

Offering a low environmental footprint and high human value, Fforest is an enchanting haven for a slow-living summer.

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The Little Retreat | The perfect feel-good summer escape

Nestled in the heart of Pembrokeshire, The Little Retreat offers the perfect glamping experience.

Imagine staying in a beautifully furnished, wood-furnace heated dome that blends luxury and nature seamlessly. Stargazing tents are also available that provide an unparalleled view of the night sky.

Unwind in your private Scandi hot tub, enjoy the cozy warmth of a fire pit, or explore the breathtaking Preseli Hills and nearby beaches.

Founded by Amber Rich, who also curates the renowned Big Retreat Festival, The Little Retreat similarly has sustainability at its core. It’s a space to unplug, reset, and embrace the tranquility of the outdoors.

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The Good Life Society | Bringing summer camp home for everyone

This is the closest we’ve got to an American Summer Camp experience in the UK. But one where you get to go with your kids.

Summer Camp is a perfect blend of wellness, creativity, and adventure that will leave you refreshed and inspired. On offer are campfire cooking sessions, paddle boarding, and wild swimming — all set against the backdrop of a picturesque castle estate in North Wales.

Seek out the workshops, events and even DJ sessions by top chefs, authors, and makers. You decide how active you want to be. Whether you’re looking to untether from technology, find new passions, or simply enjoy quality time with your family, Summer Camp provides the warmest of welcomes.

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The Camp at The Wave | A unique blend of adventure and relaxation

Ready for a summer escape that perfectly blends adventure and relaxation? Welcome to The Camp at The Wave, just outside of Bristol.

This unique destination offers an exhilarating mix of world-class surfing and luxurious glamping for families, couples, and solo adventurers alike.

Step out of a safari tent to the sound of (man-made) waves, knowing that a day of surf awaits.

Whether you're a seasoned surfer or a complete beginner, The Wave offers tailored lessons for all skill levels and guaranteed waves. Plus, the campsite’s natural surroundings make it the ideal spot for unwinding after a day on the water.

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Campwell | Awaken to the wild

Dreaming of a summer escape where you can reconnect with nature and yourself? Campwell is an enchanting retreat just outside Bath that offers both.

This off-grid haven invites you to unplug from the daily grind and immerse yourself in the tranquility of the great outdoors while offering ways to listen to what you need again.

You’ll get to stay in a charming, eco-friendly cabin or bell tent, surrounded by either lush woodlands or a fifth-generation farm. During the day you can practice yoga under the trees, explore scenic trails, try paddle-boarding, or simply relax by the campfire with new friends. Campwell is on a mission to make the world a better place, by offering you the space to explore where you are (both here and in life).

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The Happy Startup Summercamp | Where purpose goes to play

The Happy Startup Summercamp combines inspiration, fun, and meaningful connections

Held in the stunning Sussex countryside, this unique camp brings together entrepreneurs, creatives, and wellness enthusiasts for a weekend of life alteraing connection.

Book a cozy bell tent, start your day with yoga under the open sky, and then immerse yourself in inspiring talks in the different tents. Founded by Laurence McCahill and Carlos Saba, The Happy Startup Summer Camp is designed to spark joy, creativity, and a sense of community, all while helping you find balance in your life and work.

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Also Check Out

Mill on the Brue

Mill on the Brue in Somerset offers outdoor activities like canoeing, archery, and yoga, all set in a stunning, eco-friendly environment. Perfect for either day activities or overnights for the kids: For more information, visit their website.

Kudhva in Cornwall

Stay in unique architectural hideouts nestled in wild landscapes, perfect for reconnecting with nature. Enjoy outdoor activities like wild swimming, foraging, and coastal hikes. Visit their website for more details.

Three Pools in Wales

Enjoy serene lakeside glamping, nature walks, and yoga sessions amidst stunning Welsh landscapes. Sit down to locally-sourced meals and unwind by the campfire with new friends. For more information, visit their website.

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Where will you go this summer?

As places change, do check the websites for up-to-date information and availability.

If you have a favourite UK destination to add,, reach out to us here.

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If you can’t get away this Summer, join us for our first (Stay-at-home) Wellcation!

Join our Summer Wellcation online course to explore how to stay connected to yourself while doing all the things for other people, nurture relationships when they are sometimes the last thing you can get to, and disconnect from tech when it’s the first thing you grab.

With engaging activities, quick and impactful lessons, and the flexibility to fit into your busy schedule, this course is designed to help you make the most of your summer, without melting down.

Explore the Summer Wellcation Course

Feeling disconnected? How to rediscover yourself

Sometimes it can feel like we’re just going through the motions, lost in the endless to-dos of our daily lives. If this continues for a while we can end up feeling disconnected from ourselves. We can become so overwhelmed by the demands of work, family, and external expectations, that we can feel like we’ve lost ourselves entirely.

If this resonates, explore with us how to reconnect with what you’re thinking and feeling, even when everything else is demanding your attention.

The noise around us

Right now, it can feel like we are bombarded with information and advice on how to live our best lives. From social media influencers to self-help gurus, there’s no shortage of voices telling us what we should be doing. While it can be inspiring to access so much knowledge, it can also lead to confusion and self-doubt. We start to outsource our needs and desires to these external sources, losing touch with what we really believe and value.

Imagine trying to write a heartfelt letter while a loud party is going on around you, or giving an important presentation with multiple conversations happening in the background. It’s distracting, frustrating, and ultimately unproductive. This is how many of us navigate our daily lives; trying to stay true to ourselves while being pulled in countless directions by outside influences.

Over the past year, I’ve worked with many women who feel lost and disconnected. Through our conversations, I’ve realized that we all know what we truly need and want, we’ve just pushed it aside or forgotten it amidst the chaos of everyday life.

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Tuning into what you really believe

The first step to reconnect with yourself is to create space for silence and introspection. I know that doesn’t sound the most fun but this gives you permission to pause, to listen to your inner voice, and to trust your own insights. This might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to constantly seeking external validation. But it’s essential for reconnecting with your thoughts and feelings (and in turn your wants, needs, and desires).

Start by setting aside a few minutes each day for quiet reflection. This could be through meditation, journaling, or simply sitting in silence. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. What are the recurring themes? What sparks joy or brings a sense of peace? What feels out of alignment?

As you practice tuning into yourself, you’ll begin to uncover your core values and desires. These are the anchors that can guide you through life’s ups and downs, helping you stay true to yourself amidst the noise.

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Reclaiming selfhood

Reconnecting when you’ve lost your sense of self requires patience and practice. Here are some steps to help you along the way:

1. Identify Your Core Values:

   What matters most to you? Is it family, creativity, adventure, or something else? Make a list of your top values and keep it somewhere visible. Let these values guide your decisions and actions.

2. Set Boundaries:

   Protect your time and energy by setting clear boundaries. This might mean saying no to commitments that don’t align with your values or limiting your exposure to negative influences.

3. Practice Self-Compassion:

   Be gentle with yourself as you navigate everyday life. It’s okay to make mistakes and experience setbacks. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend.

4. Seek Support:

   Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. Share what’s happening with trusted friends or join a community of like-minded individuals. Sometimes, an outside perspective can provide valuable insights and encouragement.

5. Embrace Your Unique Path:

   Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to living a fulfilling life. Trust your intuition and embrace your unique path, even if it looks different from what others expect.

By taking these steps, you’ll start to feel more connected to yourself. You’ll begin to live a life that feels more like your own.

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Your way to self-connection

Reconnecting with yourself is about tuning out the external noise and tuning into your inner wisdom. By identifying your core values, setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, seeking support, and embracing your unique path, you can find your way back to you.

So, take a deep breath, create some quiet space, and start listening to you. What might you say if you took a moment to listen?

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Ready to Reconnect?

If you’re feeling disconnected and unsure of where to start, our Lost Sessions can help you find your way. At If Lost Start Here, we offer supportive guidance to help you rediscover yourself in ways that accessible.

Or not sure of what you need, let’s talk.

Reframing suppression | A guide to navigating unwanted thoughts and emotions

At the beginning of the movie, Inside Out 2 a handful of unwanted emotions find themselves bottled in a jar hidden away: they have been suppressed!

We might have all done this, putting our unwanted thoughts and emotions far, far, away, in the hope that they will just disappear. But as the movie goes on to reveal (spoiler alert) they don’t.

Suppression might seem like the quick emotional fix we need, but it often does the opposite, making those persistent thoughts and emotions even more enduring.

Here we’ll explore why suppressing your thoughts and emotions can make you feel worse and offer some healthier ways to manage them.

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The white bear effect: the paradox of suppression

Picture this: You're having a rough day, and negative thoughts keep popping up. You tell yourself, “I won’t think about this anymore,” and try to push those thoughts away. But the more you try, the more those thoughts seem to invade your mind. Similarly, you might tell yourself not to feel, but your emotional discomfort seems to grow.

This phenomenon was highlighted by the “white bear” study, where participants were instructed not to think about a white bear. Predictably, they thought about white bears more frequently than those who weren’t given this instruction (Wegner, Schneider, Carter, & White, 1987). This research illuminates why suppression can be such an ineffective way to decrease negative thoughts and emotions.

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Why suppressing emotions doesn't work

Suppressing thoughts and emotions isn’t just ineffective — it can also amplify our negative experiences. Research shows that suppression typically results in three main effects:

1. An immediate surge in unwanted thoughts.

2. Increasing intrusion of these thoughts over time.

3. A greater overall occurrence of unwanted thoughts (Wenzlaff & Wegner, 2000).

So, why does this happen? Some experts suggest that a part of us actually wants to think about these suppressed thoughts. By trying to push them away, we interrupt the natural process of thinking them through, which only brings them back stronger.

Another theory is that labeling these thoughts as “bad” triggers our brain’s unconscious processes to keep an eye out for them, making them more persistent (Wenzlaff & Wegner, 2000).

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Embrace healthier emotion management strategies

Rather than battling with suppression, let’s explore healthier, more effective strategies for managing your thoughts and emotions.

1. Write About Your Feelings

Journaling isn’t just for teenagers—it’s a powerful tool for emotional processing. Research suggests that writing about your feelings can help you process and move past them more quickly (Rude, Mazzetti, Pal, & Stauble, 2011). Grab a notebook and let your thoughts flow without judgment.

2. Practice Acceptance

Emotional acceptance is about experiencing your feelings without labeling them as good or bad. Accepting your emotions can help reduce their intensity more quickly (Rude, Mazzetti, Pal, & Stauble, 2011). This approach can be particularly helpful for managing anxiety or panic. Next time you’re overwhelmed, try acknowledging your feelings without trying to change them.

3. Try Cognitive Reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal involves reinterpreting a stressful situation to see it in a more positive light. This strategy is often more effective than suppression. For instance, consider what you can learn from a difficult experience or think about the potential positive outcomes. Practicing gratitude can also shift your perspective, helping you feel better in challenging situations.

4. Exercise

Physical activity is an unexpected way to manage negative thoughts and emotions. Vigorous exercise can help distract your mind, as your body and brain focus on the physical task at hand. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a yoga session, or a run, moving your body can help alleviate mental and emotional stress.

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Your path to emotional well-being and resilience

Suppression might be a common response to unpleasant emotions, but it’s not the most helpful.

By learning to stop suppressing your thoughts and instead adopting healthier emotion management strategies, you can respond to negative emotions more effectively.

Embrace these techniques — writing, acceptance, reappraisal, and exercise — to experience a more balanced, fulfilling emotional life.

Now that’s something to think about.

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Next steps for more emotional guidance

If you find yourself struggling with your emotions consider 1:1 emotions coaching. These sessions are designed to help you navigate your emotional life more effectively, fostering a healthier relationship with your thoughts and emotions.

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References

- Rude, S. S., Mazzetti, F. A., Pal, H., & Stauble, M. R. (2011). Social rejection: How best to think about it?. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 35(3), 209-216.

- Wegner, D. M., Schneider, D. J., Carter, S. R., & White, T. L. (1987). Paradoxical effects of thought suppression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53(1), 5.

- Wenzlaff, R. M., & Wegner, D. M. (2000). Thought suppression. Annual Review of Psychology, 51(1), 59-91.

The paradox of opposing truths in our lives

In our journey toward better well-being, we often seek clear, straightforward answers. Yet, life has a way of presenting us with paradoxes — situations where two seemingly opposing truths coexist. Embracing this concept can be a game-changer, helping us navigate the complexities of our emotions and decisions with greater ease and acceptance.

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The balancing act of self-care and productivity

Consider the balance between self-care and productivity. We are often told to prioritize our well-being, to take time for ourselves, to recharge. Simultaneously, we are encouraged to maximize our time, fill our moments with relentless passion, push our limits, and never allow ourselves to rest.

Many of us find ourselves constantly torn between these two ideals. On one hand, there is a desire to excel in our careers, to make the most of our time, and to be recognized for hard work. On the other hand, there is an urgent need to slow down, to listen to our bodies, and to nurture our mental health. The societal pressure to choose one path over the other can leave us feeling conflicted and frustrated.

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Embracing the paradox

The turning point comes when we realize that these two truths are not mutually exclusive. It is possible to be productive and still honor the need for self-care. By embracing this paradox, we can find ways to integrate both aspects into our lives. Scheduling regular breaks and self-care rituals doesn't have to mean compromising professional goals. In fact, by taking care of ourselves, we can become more productive and focused at work.

This duality — holding space for both productivity and self-care — allows us to flourish in ways we hadn't imagined. The key is to stop viewing these needs as opposing forces and start seeing them as complementary parts of a whole.

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Finding peace in complexity

By acknowledging that two opposing things can be true, we open ourselves up to a more nuanced understanding of our lives. For anyone seeking direction and well-being, this realization can be incredibly liberating. It means that feeling lost and confident at the same time is valid. It means that wanting to be independent yet craving connection is natural.

Embracing this paradox can lead to profound shifts. It encourages us to let go of the binary thinking that often limits our growth and instead, appreciate the richness of our experiences. By allowing ourselves to live in the "both/and" rather than the "either/or," we create a more compassionate and flexible approach to life.

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The power of paradox

In a world that often demands clear-cut answers, recognizing that two opposing things can be true offers a refreshing perspective. It invites us to accept the complexity of our emotions, decisions, and experiences. For all of us now navigating the intricate paths of our lives, this acceptance can be a powerful tool for learning and well-being.

So, let's celebrate the paradoxes, embrace the dualities, and find our way with a newfound sense of peace and balance.

By reflecting on our own lives, we can begin to see the beauty in the balance and the strength in embracing opposing truths. This mindset shift not only helps us feel better but also empowers us to thrive amidst life's many complexities.

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Be Well, Better

Sign up for our newsletter to receive “Five Ways to Approach Your Well-being” so that it works for you. Discover how to create your unique way to well.

Embracing uncertainty: how to thrive when you feel lost

In a world full of constant change and unpredictability, it's completely normal to feel a little adrift. You’re not alone if you feel this way. Many of us are now unsure of where we are and even where we’d like to be.

But what if we told you that being lost could actually be a good thing? Today, we’re going to explore how embracing uncertainty can help you feel better in your everyday life (it’s counter-intuitive we know but stay with us).

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Finding beauty in the unexpected

Imagine you’re on a road trip. The GPS stops working, and you have no idea where you are. Panic sets in. You start to worry about what could go wrong. But then, as you take a deep breath, you notice the beautiful scenery around you — the kind you would’ve missed if you had been following the right path. A moment of being lost turns into an unexpected adventure, filled with new discoveries and experiences.

Life is much like this road trip. We often crave certainty and control, but the truth is, that uncertainty is a regular part of life. Embracing this can lead to profound both new learning and a more fulfilling life.

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Locating balance: comfort and challenge

So, how do we shift our mindset from fearing the unknown to welcoming it? It starts with understanding that uncertainty is not only normal but also beneficial.

Here are three key areas to focus on:

Accepting Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a constant in our lives. Even when we make plans, there's always an element of unpredictability. Rather than fearing this, we can learn to accept it. Acknowledging that complete certainty is unattainable can be liberating. It allows us to release the weight of trying to control everything and instead, focus on what we can manage.

For example, think about the last time something unexpected happened in your life. Maybe it was a surprise visit from a friend or a sudden change in plans that led to a new opportunity. These moments, though initially unsettling, often bring unexpected joy and growth.

Brene Brown, in her research on vulnerability, calls uncertainty ‘the torture chamber’ but also emphasizes its link to vulnerability. By braving uncertainty, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and personal growth. The next time you feel unsure, remind yourself that it's an opportunity for something new and potentially wonderful.

Taking Risks

Avoiding risks means missing out on life's richness. It's not just about big life changes like switching careers or moving to a new city. It's also about the small, everyday risks—like trying a new hobby, joining a community group, or speaking up in a meeting.

Taking risks, even small ones, can enhance our resilience and confidence. It can improve our decision-making skills and help us develop new talents. More importantly, it builds self-trust. Each time we step out of our comfort zone and take a risk, we learn to rely on our abilities and judgment.

Consider the last time you took a small risk. Maybe you attended a social event alone or tried a new workout class. Reflect on how these experiences, despite their initial discomfort, contributed to your growing sense of self.

Balancing Ease with Discomfort

In our quest for a simpler, more comfortable life, we often eliminate challenges and frictions that are essential for our experiences. While ease is important, it’s the texture of life—the ups and downs, the unexpected twists—that makes it vibrant and meaningful.

We need to strike a balance between seeking comfort and embracing discomfort. Think of it like a well-balanced diet. Too much comfort can lead to stagnation, while too much discomfort can be overwhelming. Finding the right mix helps us live a fuller, more engaged life.

Reflect on the moments that brought unexpected joy. Maybe it was a spontaneous trip, an unplanned conversation, or a challenging project at work. These experiences, while initially uncomfortable, often become our most cherished memories.

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Navigating life's beautiful uncertainty

Embracing uncertainty, taking risks, and balancing ease with discomfort can transform the feeling of being lost into an opportunity for growth and discovery. By shifting our mindset, we can replace fear and self-doubt with awe, curiosity, playfulness, and courage.

So, the next time you feel lost, remember that it's okay. In fact, it’s more than okay—it’s an opportunity to explore new paths, discover new strengths, and live a richer, more fulfilling life.

How will you navigate your journey of uncertainty and possibility?

How will you embrace being just a little bit lost?

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Next steps

Feeling lost and uncertain? Discover clarity and confidence with our personalized coaching sessions designed to help you reconnect with your true self and navigate life's challenges. Take the first step towards a more fulfilling life today.

Book a free consultation and start your journey to finding your way. Embrace the unknown with expert guidance and transform your uncertainty into empowerment and joy.

Where do you want life to take you?

Emotional Well-being Series | 7 strategies to improve emotional wellbeing

With all that we now need to just do to get through life, connecting with our emotions can feel like an impossible task. But losing touch with what we’re feeling can add to that sense of being lost and disconnected that many of us are now experiencing. Enhancing our emotional well-being can help us better connect with all aspects of our lives.

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Building a positive relationship with your emotions

Many of us now juggle the demands of our careers, families, and personal lives, often feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to manage our emotions. This can lead to a sense of disconnection and emotional imbalance. However, it's possible to improve your emotional well-being by learning and practicing a few key skills.

Improving your emotional well-being isn't about avoiding or suppressing emotions. Instead, it's about enhancing your emotional awareness, learning to regulate your emotions, and building resilience.

Here are seven impactful strategies to help you boost your emotional well-being.

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Techniques for positive emotional health

1. Practice Emotional Awareness

Start by engaging in self-reflection. Ask yourself: What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What might help me manage these emotions?

Emotional awareness allows you to recognize how different situations, people, or thoughts affect your feelings. By paying attention to your emotions, you can take proactive steps to foster more positive emotional experiences.

2. Practice Mindful Acceptance

Mindfulness goes beyond emotional awareness; it includes emotional acceptance. This means experiencing emotions without judgment, which helps prevent the development of secondary negative emotions. For example, feeling guilty about being angry creates an additional layer of distress.

By practicing acceptance, you allow your emotions to come and go without labeling them as good or bad. Mindfulness meditation is a great tool to cultivate this skill.

3. Refocus Your Attention

Redirecting your attention away from negative aspects and towards positive ones can significantly enhance your emotional well-being. When you find yourself fixating on the worst parts of a situation, consciously shift your focus to neutral or positive elements. Although this takes practice, research shows that training your mind to focus on less threatening aspects can reduce anxiety.

4. Practice Reappraisal

Reappraisal involves interpreting a stressful situation in a more positive light. This strategy can help you feel better and improve your emotional well-being over time. Try reappraising by listing the good aspects of challenging situations: How is this an opportunity for learning? What has come into your awareness? Where are the possibilities? The more you practice reappraisal, the more natural it becomes.

5. Try Emotional Distancing

Emotional distancing helps you gain perspective during difficult times. Imagine yourself as an observer—a fly on the wall—or think about how you’ll view the situation in the future. For instance, after an argument with a partner, consider how you’ll feel about it in a week, a month, or a year. This technique can make negative experiences feel less intense and aid in quicker emotional recovery.

6. Use Your Imagination

Your imagination can be a powerful ally in boosting emotional well-being. When times are tough, and there’s little positivity to focus on, use your imagination to create positive scenarios. Visualizing yourself in a happy place can generate real positive emotions, helping you cope with difficult moments.

7. Share Your Positive Moments

Sharing your positive experiences can amplify and extend those feelings. When something good happens, share it with someone you care about. Whether it's a text to a friend or a call to a family member, expressing your joy can enhance your emotional well-being. Just remember to share from a genuine place of connection.

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Navigating your emotional landscape

By incorporating these strategies into your daily life, you can enhance your emotional awareness, improve your ability to manage emotions, and build resilience. You can transform your emotional well-being, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Remember, emotions are a normal and necessary part of life, and with the right tools, you can navigate them more effectively.

Maybe today just start with noticing that you have valid emotions. That might be the most important first step towards a more emotionally balanced you.

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Seeking further help?

If you're looking to have a more positive relationship with your emotions, consider 1:1 emotions coaching. This personalized approach can provide you with the support and strategies you need to navigate your emotional life more effectively.

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References

- Amir, N., Beard, C., Taylor, C. T., Klumpp, H., Elias, J., Burns, M., & Chen, X. (2009). Attention training in individuals with generalized social phobia: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 77(5), 961.

- Bruehlman-Senecal, E., & Ayduk, O. (2015). This too shall pass: Temporal distance and the regulation of emotional distress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108(2), 356. 

Simple ways nature can boost your mental health and well-being

Feeling overwhelmed by the constant demands of daily life? You're not alone. We can now struggle to find moments of peace and clarity.

But what if the key to enhancing your well-being and regaining your sense of self was as simple as stepping outside and connecting with nature?

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The power of micro gestures for how we connect with nature

Imagine starting your day with the sound of birds singing softly outside your window. Instead of rushing through your morning routine, you take a moment to listen, to really listen. These micro gestures can create profound connections with the natural world.

You don’t need to hike up mountains or venture into dense forests. Sometimes, all it takes is a few minutes of stillness and observation to feel the calming presence of nature.

These small acts of mindfulness can help you build a stronger relationship with nature in your everyday life.

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Understanding our relationship with nature and its benefits

Our relationship with nature is complex and multifaceted. We often experience fear, longing, curiosity, and even avoidance, yet we have an inherent need to connect with the natural world. Recognizing and nurturing this relationship is crucial for our well-being.

Nature engagement is not one-size-fits-all though; it varies depending on our physical abilities, location, and interests. This personalized approach to connecting with nature ensures that everyone can find a way to experience its benefits.

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Simple steps to integrate nature into your daily life

1. Start with Small Steps

Begin by incorporating micro gestures into your daily routine. Watch the sunrise, notice the clouds, or simply enjoy the fresh air. These small actions can have a big impact on your mood and well-being.

2. Embrace Accessibility

Nature is for everyone. Whether you live in a bustling city or a rural area, there are countless ways to experience nature. Find what works best for you, be it a walk in the park, tending to a small garden, or even just sitting by a window with a view of the outdoors.

3. Make Nature a Priority

Elevate your relationship with nature on your list of priorities. Make time to value and cherish your interactions with the natural world. Schedule regular nature breaks, plan weekend outings, or simply set aside moments each day to appreciate the beauty around you.

4. Find Beauty Everywhere

Look for glimpses of nature in your everyday life. Whether it's a flower growing in a sidewalk crack or the changing colors of the sky, these small moments of beauty can foster a deeper appreciation and connection to the environment.

5. Engage with Nature Indoors

If you can't go outside, bring nature to you. Listen to nature podcasts, watch documentaries, or enjoy nature-inspired artwork. There are many ways to experience the benefits of nature without leaving your home.

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Embrace nature’s healing power for enhanced well-being

Connecting with nature is a powerful way to enhance your well-being. By incorporating micro gestures, embracing accessibility, making nature a priority, finding beauty everywhere, and engaging with nature indoors, you can profoundly enrich your life.

Nature has the power to reduce stress, improve mood, and boost overall health. So, step outside, take a deep breath, and let the natural world nurture and heal you.

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Ready to reduce stress and enhance your emotional wellness? Discover the positive impacts of nature with our course, 'Find Your Way.'

Learn practical strategies to connect with nature and improve your mental health. Enroll now and start your journey towards a more balanced and fulfilled life!

Emotional Well-being Series | Learn how to cultivate positive emotions to improve well-being

Do you ever feel like joy is fleeting and hard to grasp? You're not alone. Many of us now find it challenging to maintain positive emotions amidst life’s demands. But what if understanding positive emotions better could help us experience them more often?

Positive emotions are one of the most enjoyable parts of being alive. But what exactly are positive emotions? What effect do they have on our lives? And how can we experience more of them?

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What are positive emotions?

Positive emotions are more than just fleeting moments of happiness; they are vital to our overall well-being. They encompass a wide range of experiences from joy and excitement to contentment and love.

Positive emotions exist on a continuum with negative emotions on one end and positive emotions on the other. However, the words we use to describe positive emotions generally lead us to think that positive emotions are discrete entities, separate from negative emotions. For example, “happy” and “sad” might be on two ends of one continuum but we think of them as different things.

Positive emotions can also be either high-energy (e.g., excitement, joy) or low-energy (e.g., calm, content).

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The importance of positive emotions on our well-being

Research shows that positive emotions not only make us feel good but also contribute to longevity, improved immune function, and greater resilience. Positive emotions may even be considered synonymous with happiness (but happiness may also include things like meaning or purpose).

Here are some examples of positive emotions:

●      Excitement. A feeling of great enthusiasm and eagerness.

●      Delight. To take great emotional pleasure in something.

●      Astonishment. A feeling of great surprise and wonder.

●      Happiness. Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.

●      Pleased. A feeling of pride or satisfaction.

●      Content. A state of happiness and satisfaction.

●      Relaxed. A state of being at rest or ease.

●      Calm. Not excited or upset.

Imagine how your life could change if you could tap into these emotions more frequently and deeply.

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How positive emotions differ from moods and why it matters

Understanding the nature of positive emotions can be a game-changer. Unlike moods, which are more prolonged and diffuse, positive emotions are typically short-lived and arise from specific experiences. They bring about changes in our nervous system, hormones, facial expressions, and even our thoughts. By learning to recognize and cultivate these emotions, we can enhance our mental and physical health.

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Engage, explore, and enjoy: Ways to increase positive emotions

1. Identify Positive Emotions

Start by recognizing different positive emotions such as excitement, delight, astonishment, happiness, and contentment. Each of these emotions has unique triggers and effects on our well-being.

2. Embrace Emotional Granularity

Develop the skill of emotional granularity, which means being able to identify and differentiate between a wide range of emotions. This can help you understand your emotional experiences more clearly and respond to them more effectively.

3. Cultivate Positive Experiences

Engage in activities that naturally evoke positive emotions. For example, joyful play, exploring new interests, savoring moments of contentment, and nurturing loving relationships can all help broaden your emotional repertoire.

4. Apply the Broaden and Build Theory:

According to Barbara Fredrickson's Broaden and Build Theory, positive emotions broaden our thought-action repertoire and build lasting personal resources. This means that by cultivating positive emotions, you can enhance your creativity, resilience, and social connections.

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Embrace positive emotions for a healthier, happier you

Positive emotions are powerful tools for enhancing your well-being. By identifying and cultivating these emotions, you can experience greater joy, resilience, and fulfillment in everyday life.

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Ready to enhance your emotional wellness and experience greater joy and contentment?

Our specialized emotions coaching sessions at If Lost Start Here can help you understand and cultivate positive emotions for a healthier, happier life.

Click the link to learn more and book your first session today!

Mental Well-being Series | How to overcome perfectionism

Ever feel like you’re constantly chasing an impossible standard? You’re not alone. Many women grapple with the pressures of perfectionism, feeling lost in the pursuit of flawlessness. But what if we told you that striving for perfection might actually be holding you back?

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How perfectionism impacts women's well-being

Picture this: You’re excelling at work, managing your home life, and still finding time to help friends and family. Yet, despite your successes, you feel exhausted, anxious, and never quite satisfied. You spend countless hours double-checking everything, afraid of making even the tiniest mistake.

This constant fear of failure leads to sleepless nights and chronic stress. This scenario is all too common for many women who push themselves to the brink, driven by the need to be perfect.

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Understanding healthy vs. unhealthy perfectionism

This experience illustrates the dual nature of perfectionism. While striving for excellence can lead to remarkable achievements, when it crosses into the realm of maladaptive perfectionism, it becomes detrimental. Understanding this balance is crucial for our well-being.

So, how can we recognize and overcome unhealthy perfectionism to lead more fulfilling lives?

1. Set Attainable Standards

Reflect on your goals and ask yourself if they are realistic. Unrealistic standards set you up for disappointment. Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks.

2. Embrace Flexibility

Life is unpredictable. Learning to adapt to changes and adjust your expectations can relieve a lot of pressure. Flexibility allows you to navigate life's ups and downs with more ease.

3. Reframe Mistakes

Mistakes are inevitable. Instead of viewing them as failures, see them as opportunities for growth and learning. This shift in perspective can reduce the fear and anxiety associated with perfectionism.

4. Seek Support

Sometimes, overcoming perfectionism requires external help. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly effective in helping you identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors.

5. Celebrate Progress

Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Recognizing your progress helps build self-confidence and reduces the constant pressure of striving for an unattainable ideal.

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Finding fulfillment beyond perfection: Your path to well-being

Perfectionism, when kept in check, can be a powerful motivator. However, when it becomes excessive, it can lead to stress, anxiety, and a perpetual sense of dissatisfaction.

By setting realistic goals, embracing flexibility, reframing mistakes, seeking support, and celebrating progress, we can transform our approach to perfectionism. This shift in approach allows us to enjoy our achievements and navigate everyday life with confidence and contentment, imperfections and all.

Remember, you are enough just as you are. Embrace your journey, and let go of the need to be perfect.

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Ready to overcome your perfectionist tendencies? Join our community at If Lost Start Here and start your journey towards a more balanced, fulfilling life.

Sign up for our newsletter to receive our favorite well-being tips, support, and resources tailored to help you embrace imperfection and thrive.

Create your path to clarity and calm by discovering your unique way to well

Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life? Many women today are searching for ways to navigate their busy schedules with more ease and purpose. Discover how our self-guided wellbeing course can help you reclaim your well-being and move forward with confidence.

Your Journey Towards Self-Wellness

Imagine taking a moment to pause and reflect on your current state, identifying areas of your life that feel cluttered and distracting. This simple act of reflection can give you a clearer picture of where to focus your energy. This is the first step, Taking Stock, in our self-guided online course designed to help create a personalized well-being practice.

As you move through the course, you’ll learn to Embrace Change. Letting go of old habits and beliefs can be liberating, making space for new growth. You’ll begin to live more intentionally, aligning your daily actions with your core values and goals.

The concept of Frequent Resets will become your new mantra. Regular, small adjustments can keep you aligned with your aspirations and prevent you from getting stuck.

You’ll explore how to Integrate New Practices that support your well-being, such as creative pursuits and adventures in nature.

Refreshing your life in meaningful ways—whether it's reevaluating relationships or learning to have a healthier relationship with your emotions—can give you a renewed sense of energy and purpose.

Finally, by Investing in Yourself, you’ll discover the joy of dedicating time and resources to activities that enrich your life, resulting in increased happiness and fulfillment.

Create Your Own Well-Being Practice

Many women have found themselves on a similar journey, seeking ways to feel more connected and less overwhelmed. Our online self-guided course is designed to help you create a tailored well-being practice that fits seamlessly into your daily life. It’s about learning to live with intention and acceptance, making small, attainable changes that lead to a more fulfilling life.

What You’ll Learn in Our Course

1. Take Stock: Gain clarity on what needs your attention.

2. Embrace Change: Let go of what no longer serves you.

3. Live Consciously: Make mindful choices aligned with your values.

4. Reset Frequently: Keep your life dynamic and forward-moving.

5. Integrate New Practices: Support your health and happiness.

6. Refresh Your Life: Create a renewed sense of energy and purpose.

7. Invest in Yourself: Find joy and fulfillment in personal growth.

Join Our Course Today

Imagine waking up each day with a sense of clarity and calm, knowing that you’re investing in your well-being in ways that truly matter. Our course is your guide to creating a well-being practice that’s uniquely yours.

Start your journey today and discover how to navigate your life with more ease, purpose, and joy. Click here to enroll in our online self-guided wellbeing course now.

Embrace the Magic of Midlife

Are you navigating the winding roads of midlife? You're not alone; in fact, one of us is right there with you, experiencing all the highs and lows of this transformative period.

The Midlife Awakening

Whether you're fully entrenched in midlife or supporting someone who is, understanding this phase can be a game-changer. Midlife brings a whirlwind of thoughts about aging, self-image, purpose, and relationships. The what-ifs and what's-to-comes might wake you up at 3 a.m., as frequently as those nighttime sweats do. Anxiety often feels like a constant companion, alongside that trusty retinol cream.

You look in the mirror and sometimes struggle to recognize the person staring back. The meticulously built life might not align with who you are today. Your career, relationships, and daily routines may no longer spark the joy they once did, leaving you wondering what's next.

Midlife challenges us to reassess our identities, paths, and future aspirations. Yet, within these challenges lie opportunities for rediscovery and new possibilities. It's a chance to get curious about life again, even amidst the brain fog and hot flushes.

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From Lost to Found

So, how do you transition from feeling lost in midlife to reconnecting with yourself? Here are a few guiding principles to help you navigate this journey:

The Ebb and Flow:

Recognize that there will be good and bad days. Navigate these cycles with grace, adjusting your to-do lists and emotional awareness accordingly.

Adopting a Threshold Perspective:

Embrace this in-between stage as a chance for exploration. It's okay not to have all the answers yet.

Getting Quiet:

Create space for self-reflection through practices like journaling, meditation, or quiet walks. Listen to what you really think and feel to gain clarity.

Midlife can be both challenging and rewarding, but you are not alone. There are more resources available than ever to support you through this stage. From books and podcasts to organizations and apps, you can find the tools you need in ways our mothers never could.

Step into Your New Chapter

Inspired by our personal experiences, we've designed a range of 1:1 midlife coaching sessions to provide you with the support and tools you need to navigate midlife positively. We'll explore why you feel the way you do, address anxiety and self-doubt, and help you recognize how your values and goals are evolving.

We'll delve into well-being practices that can make you feel better, one step at a time. Midlife may sometimes feel like a confusing and disorienting rethinking of everything, but it doesn't have to be navigated alone.

Here are some of the benefits you'll experience:

• Personalized Guidance: Tailored strategies that align with your values and goals.

• Emotional Support: Navigate the emotional ups and downs of midlife with confidence.

• New Perspectives: Discover new possibilities and reignite your passions.

• Improved Well-being: Learn well-being practices that enhance your overall quality of life.

If you're ready to explore what's next and reconnect with yourself, come and talk to us. Our expert midlife coaches are here to support you through these middling moments, helping you rediscover the magic and potential of midlife.

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Midlife is a time of change—let’s make it a time of possibility. Sign up for our mailing list to receive insights, tools, and guidance to help you navigate midlife with more clarity, confidence, and ease. Because this chapter is yours to shape. Join us here

Rediscovering connection through Taylor Swift's Eras Tour

Ever found yourself caught in the whirlwind of Taylor Swift's universe, endlessly scouring for concert updates, dissecting lyrics, and soaking in every moment of her performances?

If you're seeking ways to connect more deeply with yourself and others, you're not alone in turning to Swift. Let's delve into how the pop superstar’s music has become more than just entertainment; it’s now our collective way to both self-discovery and meaningful connection.

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The power of collective effervescence and emotional connection

In his studies on awe, psychologist Dacher Keltner explores the concept of 'collective effervescence,' where shared experiences create a sense of unity and awe. Taylor Swift's music acts as a catalyst for this phenomenon, bringing people together from all walks of life.

In a world plagued by loneliness, her concerts become sanctuaries of togetherness, where we find solace in shared emotions and experiences. For those seeking an emotional connection, Swift's music offers a powerful way to bridge the gaps between our fragmented lives.

Embracing emotional freedom through music

Swift's songs serve as emotional landscapes, inviting us to feel deeply and authentically. In a society that often encourages emotional suppression, her music gives us permission to embrace our vulnerabilities, to cry, to laugh, to rage, and to love without restraint.

Through her narratives, we confront our own emotional narratives, challenging beliefs that hinder our connection with ourselves and others.

For anyone looking to connect more with their feelings, Taylor Swift's music provides a safe space to explore and express emotions.

Writing our own stories and building connections

As we immerse ourselves in Taylor Swift's music, we not only find connection but also inspiration to rewrite our own stories. Her openness about the messy, imperfect parts of life reminds us that it's okay to not have it all figured out.

We're encouraged to embrace the complexities of our existence, to acknowledge our struggles, and to find beauty in our imperfections.

For those wanting to connect more with who they believe themselves to be and how they are really living their lives, Swift's music is a guide for how to do this with courage and vulnerability (the two often go together).

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Embracing our own eras

As the Eras tour unfolds, it's more than just a musical spectacle; it's a phenomenon centered on being seen and feeling connected.

Through Taylor Swift's music, we find camaraderie, emotional release, and a renewed sense of self.

So, let's lean into the melodies, the lyrics, and the shared experiences, knowing that in each chord and verse, we find echoes of our own stories, our own struggles, and our own triumphs.

For anyone looking to connect more with themselves and others, Taylor Swift's music offers a heartfelt path forward.

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Ready to deepen your connection with yourself and others? Subscribe to our newsletter for more insights on emotional wellness and join our community of like-minded individuals on this ever-meandering journey of self-discovery.

Plus, get exclusive updates on how music and other forms of art can enrich your life (see our Culture Therapy series for more).

Click here to subscribe now and start connecting with yourself, each other, and the world around you in new and creative ways.

How journaling can positively impact your well-being

I recently attended a Writing Workshop for Well-being at The Write Place in Frome led by Christina Sanders, an educator, poet, and fiction writer. During a Saturday morning session, both seasoned writers and complete beginners explored how the simple act of putting words on a page can help us connect with the wonder of life, slow down, deepen our awareness, and unleash our imagination.

James Pennebaker, a social psychologist, was one of the first to highlight the emotional benefits of expressing our thoughts and feelings through writing. His studies, along with those of others, have demonstrated that expressive writing can help us feel less isolated, identify our emotions, and connect with our needs. Moreover, it can assist in processing trauma and alleviating depression.

Writing is a powerful, generative practice. It helps us make sense of our thoughts and feelings, allowing us to write to understand, to get unstuck, and to be curious. Writing encourages us to pay attention to what’s happening inside us as well as in the world around us. And importantly, it can be a source of fun, enabling us to play with our imaginations and give our minds the freedom to roam—even into silliness!

One of the most remarkable insights from the workshop was how quickly writing could create a positive shift. Although the workshop lasted three hours, the actual exercises were just 5 to 10 minutes long. Even these brief exercises were enough to bring about a sense of well-being.

Below, I’ve included five short exercises adapted from Christina’s prompts. These combine freewriting—where you keep writing without stopping, letting whatever comes up flow onto the page—with journaling exercises.

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Five Short Writing Exercises for Well-being

Five-Minute Freewrite:

• Set a timer for five minutes

• Start writing and don’t stop until the timer goes off.

• Write whatever comes to mind without worrying about grammar or structure. Just let your thoughts flow.

Write a dialogue:

Take as your subjects the different parts of yourself (e.g., your anxious self and your calm self). This can help you explore inner conflicts and find resolutions. This can also support you in better understanding your inner dynamics and find balanced solutions.

• Identify two aspects of yourself that are in conflict.

• Write a conversation between these parts, allowing each to express its perspective.

Gratitude Journaling:

•  Spend five minutes writing about things you are grateful for.

• Focus on the details and how these things make you feel.

Imaginary Journey:

• Imagine a place where you feel completely at peace.

• Spend ten minutes describing this place in as much detail as possible.

• Allow your imagination to take over and enjoy the process of creating your peaceful haven.

Visual Prompts:

Using images as prompts can stimulate creativity and emotional expression. This exercise can help you explore emotions and uncover hidden thoughts.

• Find a photograph or piece of artwork that resonates with you.

• Spend 10-15 minutes writing about what you see, how it makes you feel, and any memories or thoughts it evokes.

Try these exercises and see how writing can enhance your well-being. Remember, the key is not to self-edit as you go along. No one else needs to read what you write—not even you. The goal is simply to get your thoughts and feelings down on the page, no matter how messy or meandering they may seem.

Try to write regularly, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.

You might be surprised by what emerges from your scribbles. Give it a try, and you’ll see the benefits for yourself.

Happy writing!

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The best self-help books for when you're feeling lost

Self-help books written by men currently dominate the bestseller lists — such as those by James Clear and Eckhart Tolle —although women have traditionally been the primary consumers of these titles. However, female authors have started to gain popularity and draw widespread readership.

We’ve selected our favourite self-help books by female authors that we turn to when we’re lost. These five non-fiction books are our go-to’s when we need more practical support for our mental health and emotional wellbeing.

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A self-help book to connect with self-acceptance | Already Enough by Lisa Olivera

We’ve been thinking a lot about self-acceptance over the past month: how we feel forced to mold and shape ourselves into something else just to be, and the one book we’ve been turning to as an antidote to that perspective is this one. Lisa Olivera’s Already Enough: A Path to Self-Acceptance.

In this book you’re gently encouraged to write a whole new story — and with that invite in a new set of beliefs and possibilities — so that ultimately you can believe in and access your “inherent enoughness.”

Staying in her work as a therapist, Olivera gives us a space to reflect on what our story is: such as needing to be perfect to feel worthy, having to stay small because our needs don’t matter or not showing up because we don’t belong.

This book feels like having a session with Olivera, as she takes us through practices, questions, and tools to reframe our stories and then courageously integrate new ones. This book is for anyone, who feels less than accepted, who is striving, striving, striving, and wonders what’s beneath that.

““Our stories weave themselves into every aspect of our lives. They shape our reactions and our choices. They influence how we treat ourselves and how we relate to other people. Our stories are guiding forces in our experience of being human.””

— Lisa Olivera

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A self-help book for when you’re burned out on self-help | Real self-care by Dr Pooja Lakshmin

This is the book we’d been seeking as an antidote to the pressure to do more and more and more. It’s almost an anti-self-help book in that it both challenges some of the assumptions of the ever-improving industry and offers a different, almost unmarketable, set of ideas for how to be.

Dr Lakshmin emphasizes genuine self-awareness over quick fixes, advocating for practices that nurture holistic well-being rather than fleeting indulgences. In this book, burnout becomes a form of cultural betrayal, as we turn to one of three coping mechanisms from the self-help industry: escape, achievement, or optimization.

For Dr. Lakshmin Real Self-Care is self-driven and founded on four key principles:

1. Setting boundaries around your needs and desires

2. Treating yourself with compassion which might mean changing how you talk to yourself

3. Moving closer to yourself by connecting with what matters most to you

4. Making yourself bigger (rather than smaller) and supporting other women as you do so

Read this if you’re tired of quick fixes or you even experiencing fatigue around the latest wellness trend.

““Wellness dogma says that a fix for your troubles is as simple as buying a new day planner or signing up for a meditation class. And according to this philosophy, when you don’t find time for these “solutions”, it’s your fault for not keeping up with one more task on your to-do list.””

— Dr Pooja Lakshmin

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A self-help book for when you feel stuck | Un(Stuck) by Dr Sophie Mort

Dr Sophie Mort’s (Un)Stuck is the perfect book if you’ve ever committed to a habit that didn’t stick, found that you’re stuck in one that you can’t break, or you find yourself getting in your own way.

A clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Neuroscience and the bestselling author of A Manual for Being Human who has become somewhat renowned for taking therapy to Instagram, Dr Soph as she’s known has written an accessible, practical and hopefully impactful self-help book on what to do when we (inevitably) get stuck. So if you’re curious to know what might be getting in the way of anything you want to do (but can’t) read this.

In this book, Dr Soph covers five areas that “people rarely fully understand that get in the way of us being able to take charge of our lives and stop going in circles.” 

1. Heuristics: understanding what these are and how they might be holding you back

2. Self-sabotage: what it really is (self-rescuing?) and what to do with it when this happens

3. Games: knowing that you might be playing these, often unconsciously (any rescuers out there?)

4. History: understanding generational patterns and the scripts that we inherit, and unknowingly live by

When you’re feeling stuck in life, this book can help you get out of your own (often unconscious) way.

““More than 40 percent of our actions are behaviours we engage in without conscious thought.” ”

— Dr Sophie Mort

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A self-help book to build self-awareness | Why Had Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr Julie Smith

Dr Julie Smith’s bestselling book is a toolkit – it’s filled with the lessons we could learn through years of therapy, but that should be available to all of us before we even sit on that couch. Like what’s the baseline for our emotional and mental wellbeing? What are the foundational approaches to better navigate our everyday lives? How can we build a practice when we’re feeling good that serves us when we’re feeling bad?

Drawing from her extensive experience as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Smith distills complex psychological concepts into accessible and actionable advice. The book is structured around key themes such as managing anxiety, battling depression, building self-confidence, and fostering resilience.

Dr. Smith's approach is refreshingly straightforward, offering tools and techniques that can be immediately applied to daily life. She emphasizes the importance of understanding and managing one's emotions, highlighting that mental health is a continuous journey rather than a destination. Through relatable anecdotes, insightful tips, and engaging exercises, we can learn how to cultivate a healthier mindset and develop coping mechanisms for stress and adversity.

One of the standout aspects of the book is its focus on self-compassion and the power of small, consistent changes. Dr. Smith encourages us to be kind to ourselves and to recognize our progress, no matter how incremental.

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? is an empowering resource that demystifies mental health and provides a toolkit for building a more resilient and fulfilling life. This is a book to live through and by, which is why it’s one of the most popular self-help books at the moment.

““you have to get to work being your own coach instead of your own worst critic””

— Dr Julie Smith

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A self-help book for when you need a pep talk | Life Skills for a Broken World by Dr Ahona Guha

In the Preface to this book Dr Guha suggests two ways to use it. The first is to read it from start to finish. The second is to dip into it if you’re not feeling great. We’ve done both.

Life Skills by Dr. Ahona Guha is the guide to life that we all need right now as we navigate the complexities of modern life.

As a clinical and forensic psychologist, Dr. Guha leverages her extensive expertise to present a practical manual that covers a wide array of life skills crucial for personal and professional success. The book is structured to address various aspects of well-being, including emotional intelligence, effective communication, stress management, and decision-making.

Dr. Guha's writing is both engaging and informative, breaking down intricate psychological concepts into relatable and actionable advice. Each chapter is dedicated to a specific skill, providing readers with clear, step-by-step instructions on how to develop and hone these abilities. Through real-life examples, interactive exercises, and reflective questions, the book encourages readers to actively apply what they learn to their own lives.

A notable feature of Life Skills is its holistic approach, emphasizing the interconnectedness of different skills and how they collectively contribute to a balanced and fulfilling life. Dr. Guha advocates for continuous learning and resilience, offering insights that are both practical and inspirational.

Life Skills is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to enhance their capabilities and lead a more effective and enriched life.

“This is a book of understanding, of action, of realism, of anti-hustle, and some tolerable discomfort — not a pastel book of self-care, bubble baths, motivational quotes, and polite platitudes.”

— Dr Ahona Guha

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These are our favorite self-help books by female authors that offer us guidance as we navigate our lost moments. They speak to the pressures of being a woman in the world today and all we’re now supposed to strive for. Together they offer a much-needed antidote to the idea of doing more to be more by female authors who get it too.

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For more ways to navigate life, join our mailing list. Like little doses of (real) self-care in an email.

How to design a life that nurtures your well-being

You've probably tried setting relentless self-improvement goals.

Often, these goals set us up for disappointment because they're based on societal expectations, rather than our true selves.

So how can you design a life that actually supports and nurtures you?

That’s a question we consider all the time as we’re bombarded with expectations about what life should be.

We’ve found that creating a life that emphasizes self-acceptance, emotional awareness, curiosity, and creativity helps us not only face personal but also global uncertainties.

Here's how you can start building a life that truly supports you.

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How to shift focus to creating a supportive environment

Begin by acknowledging your current state and the resources available to you. Instead of relentlessly pursuing self-improvement, ask yourself how you can create an environment and lifestyle that supports you as you are. This shift in focus encourages acceptance, fostering daily practices that fit within your life.

How to navigate uncertainty with curiosity

In our uncertain world, it's crucial to develop curiosity and flexibility. Focus on where you find stability internally when external conditions are volatile. Prioritize a version of self-care that helps you adapt without imposing the broken pieces of the world onto you.

How to manage unwanted emotions

Recognize that encountering feelings like fear, shame, guilt, or anxiety is normal when navigating life's complexities. Equip yourself with strategies to acknowledge, understand, and manage these emotions. This involves not letting them dictate your actions or self-worth, but rather, learning how to coexist with them as you move forward in life.

By adopting these practices, you can begin to design a life that not only supports you but also inspires others to do the same. Embracing acceptance, curiosity, and creativity in the face of uncertainties allows us to build a life centered around more of what we need and access better well-being.

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Are you ready to design a life that truly supports you?

We’ve created our self-guided, online course, Find Your Way, to help people like you learn how to navigate life's uncertainties so you can feel better on your terms.

You might have tried endless self-improvement regimes. Often, these fail because they focus on changing who we are, rather than accepting and working with what we've got.

With this on-demand course you’ll get to design a life that helps you feel better and nurtures your well-being.

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Here’s a 5-minute glimpse into Find Your Way:

Benefits of this course:

1. Learn to navigate life with curiosity, understanding how exploring can open the way for more possibility.

2. Gain strategies to manage unwanted emotions, turning them from obstacles into opportunities for greater self-awareness.

3. Discover the power of creating a life that meets your needs, while fostering a sense of connection with others.

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When we start designing a life that truly supports us with the resources and capabilities we currently possess, our focus can shift away from constant self-improvement towards creating an environment and lifestyle that nurtures our well-being.

Enroll today to begin exploring life, and your well-being, in a whole new way.

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From self-doubt to self-belief: Strategies to overcome Imposter Syndrome

Ever felt like a fraud, even when in reality you’ve got this? Hands up if you’ve ever experienced Imposter Syndrome!

At the recent Bath Festival, Dr. Jessamy Hibberd, the brilliant mind behind The Imposter Cure, asked a packed room if they’d ever felt this way. Spoiler alert: nearly everyone raised their hands! Turns out, about 70% of people have experienced Imposter Syndrome at some point. You're definitely not alone!

A Quick History Lesson on Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome was first identified by researchers in 1978 when they discovered that many high-achieving women, including those in academia, felt like frauds even though they were more than qualified. These women were fearful of being found out and believed that their success and accomplishments were based on external factors like luck or other people’s mistakes, rather than their abilities. The study concluded that Imposter Syndrome was widespread among high-achieving women and this led to wider recognition of the term. The concept would be expanded to apply to men — 50% of whom feel it too — as well as people from different backgrounds and professions.

So, What Is Imposter Syndrome?

In short, it’s the sneaky belief that we’re not worthy of our achievements. Even when we’re outwardly successful, we think we’re not good enough. Dr. Hibberd calls these “faulty beliefs.” Many of us are busy doubting ourselves. When we approach life from a place of anxiety — from fearing we’ll get found out — that can make it impossible to give ourselves the space to learn, grow, and experiment. Sound familiar?

We also think everyone else has it all together. We see others’ shiny success stories and hold ourselves to impossible standards, trying to be the best version of ourselves. It’s exhausting!

Meet the 5 Imposter Types—Which One Are You?

1. The Perfectionist: Believes there’s a right and wrong way to do everything.

2. The Soloist: Is hesitant to ask for help.

3. The Natural Genius: Thinks they need to get it right on the first try.

4. The Expert: Feels they need to know everything before starting.

5. The Superwoman/man: Strives to be perfect in all areas.

These can lead us down two not-so-fun paths: Avoidance (hello, procrastination!) and Overwork (burnout, anyone?). Which one’s your go-to?

Finding Your Grounding in Self-Belief

Dr. Hibberd suggests some impactful strategies to combat Imposter Syndrome:

• Self-Compassion: Swap self-criticism for self-awareness. Talk to yourself like you would to a friend.

• Challenge Your Beliefs: Keep a record of your daily successes and strengths. This helps shift how you see yourself.

• Be Aware of Biases: We all have a 'negativity bias' (always on the lookout for threats) and a 'confirmation bias' (seeking proof of what we believe).

The Antidote in The Imposter Cure

In her book, Dr. Hibberd delves deep into practical, science-backed strategies to help you reframe your thoughts and silence your inner critic. Here are some gems from the book:

• Visualization Techniques: Picture your success and visualize overcoming challenges.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Exercises: Change negative thought patterns with simple yet effective CBT practices.

• Daily Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to reinforce your worth and capabilities.

Sharing Is Caring

Sitting with a group of fellow doubters at the Guildhall, I realized the magic of saying, “That’s me too.” It’s a reminder that we’re not alone. We’re all in this together, and we’re all more ‘normal’ than we think. Let’s take a deep breath and let go of that weight because many of us are exhausted from carrying it around with us.

Ready to Move Beyond Imposter Syndrome?

Check out Dr. Hibberd’s The Imposter Cure. Or, let’s have a chat. Book a free 20-minute call to see how a 1:1 coaching session with one of our Certified Coaches can help you navigate and conquer Imposter Syndrome.

Well-being Series: 6 Well-being Practices to Boost Your Mood

Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes things just happen that put us in a bad mood. Other times we make decisions that get us down. And still other times we feel bad for no obvious reason. All we know is that we want to feel better...but we're just not sure how.

Luckily, psychological research has shown us some ways we can boost our mood. Here are several to check out. If any resonate with you see if you can fold them into your plan for better mental and emotional well-being.

1. Practice gratitude

​One of the best ways to start feeling better is to practice gratitude. You can write a gratitude journal or a gratitude list. These activities can result in a quick and fast boost of positivity.

2. Cultivate self-compassion

Self-compassion can often help us feel better about ourselves. We're not as judgmental of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and we treat ourselves better. You can boost self-compassion by writing yourself a self-compassionate letter that reminds you of all the good things about you and by talking to yourself like you would a friend, kindly.

3. Boost self-confidence

When we are confident, we are more likely to take the necessary actions we need to take to improve our lives. As a result, it can be easier to be in a better mood. We may be able to boost self-confidence by reminding ourselves of our strengths and positive qualities. So go ahead and think about your strengths. It doesn’t have to be anything big—maybe you’re a good cook, good at playing video games, or have a good imagination.

4. Write yourself a 'feel better soon' letter

Research shows that looking at our current situation from another point in time can decrease our current negative emotions and make us feel better (Bruehlman-Senecal & Ayduk, 2015). So if you've experienced a breakup or other difficult event that has put you in a bad mood, it may be helpful to write a letter to yourself from some time in the future. Tell yourself to "feel better soon" and talk about all the great stuff your future self is doing once this challenging time has passed.

5. Try to notice the positive things

Numerous studies show that training our attention away from the negative and onto the positive improves our well-being (MacLeod, et al., 2002; Wadlinger & Isaacowitz, 2008). For example, if we lose a job, we might say to ourselves: "I am so happy to have my family and friends".

6. Look at positive images

All the science is great for helping us learn strategies to feel better. But sometimes we just want to look at funny or cute things. (There's actually science that suggests positive images do boost our mood.) Sometimes, when we’re feeling down, it can be helpful to let our brains rest, look at cute otter videos online, and just let our mood improve that way.

If you're in a bad mood these are some of the things you can do to feel better. Try one of the suggestions presented here. Just be sure to be gentle with yourself, take your time, and do it your way.

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If you’re curious to discover more daily practices for better emotional and mental well-being, subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll share our favorite ways to feel better and take you from lost to found.

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References

●      Bruehlman-Senecal, E., and O. Ayduk. 2015. “This Too Shall Pass: Temporal Distance and the Regulation of Emotional Distress." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 108 (2): 356.

●      MacLeod, C., Rutherford, E., Campbell, L., Ebsworthy, G., & Holker, L. (2002). Selective attention and emotional vulnerability: assessing the causal basis of their association through the experimental manipulation of attentional bias. Journal of abnormal psychology, 111(1), 107.

●      Wadlinger, H. A., & Isaacowitz, D. M. (2008). Looking happy: The experimental manipulation of a positive visual attention bias. Emotion, 8(1), 121.

Well-being Series: How to set long term well-being goals

One of the questions we hear the most when working with people on their mental and emotional well-being plans is this: but where do I start?

A great place to begin is by asking yourself what you even want well-being to do or be for you. What are the goals you have around well-being? Is it for more energy or more rest, more connection or more space, more excitement or more calm?

We each arrive with very different needs for our mental health and emotional well-being plans and we’ll need to set very different goals to meet them.

So here we’ll look at what goals are and how to set them to your well-being needs so that you can feel better in your everyday life.

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What are goals?

Goals, broadly speaking, are defined as the desired states that we seek to obtain, maintain, or avoid (Nair, 2003). Long-term goals can be defined as a set of goals that need a longer period to achieve. For example, they could be goals related to our education, career, relationships, fitness, etc. Long-term goals require planning and sustained effort, so they can be a bit trickier to achieve than shorter-term goals.

Here are some tips to get you started.

How to reach long-term well-being goals

1. Set specific and challenging well-being goals.

It turns out that we achieve more by setting specific goals that are a little bit bigger or challenging, but not too challenging. If we set easy goals, we often don't achieve as much as we could because we don't push ourselves quite as hard.

2. Set meaningful well-being goals.

Reaching goals that you care about is easier than reaching goals you don't care about. So it's helpful to get clear on what you do care about from the start, and what is significant about making a plan for your mental and emotional health in your life right now.

3. Set realistic well-being goals.

It can be tricky to know just how much you can achieve. In fact, if you don't believe in yourself, you might set your goals too low and miss out on doing some great things. If you believe in your ability to manifest something, you are more likely to persist until you do. So take some time to dream big and then put on your reality cap to reflect on what is possible. 

4. Commit to your well-being goals.

Humans don't like to disappoint themselves or others. So when we commit to something, we're actually more likely to do it, especially if we share the commitment with other people in our lives.

5. Create a feedback cycle.

Feedback can be helpful so that you know how well you are doing (Latham, & Locke, 2007). Even if you don't have someone to provide feedback for you, you can still put systems in place to give yourself feedback. In other words, you could track your progress on how you're moving towards your well-being goals. That way, you'll know how you're doing.

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Align long-term well-being goals with core needs

Researchers suggest that we are more motivated to fulfill core needs like autonomy, relatedness, and competence (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999). So when setting long-term goals, try to identify how each goal relates to a core need.

For example, 'starting your creative practice' might relate to autonomy because you are free to work on what you want. 'Nurturing friendships' might connect to relatedness. And 'learning something new' might relate to competence.

By identifying how your well-being goals relate to your needs, you'll have a better sense that what you're striving for will actually make you feel good once you get there.

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Phases of long-term well-being goal pursuit

A process for achieving our long-term goals can look like this:

●     Initiation.

Getting started on the goal.

●     Maintenance.

Continuing to work on the goal and execute actions that lead to achieving the goal.

●     Persistence.

Overcoming challenges, setbacks, and emotional issues like exhaustion, boredom, or dissatisfaction.

●     Revision.

Periodic review of the goal to track progress, revise plans, and reevaluate the goal as a whole (Sniehotta, Schwarzer, Scholz, & Schüz, 2005). 

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Sticking to your well-being goals

The thing about long-term goals is that they are ... well ... long. That means they require dedication, determination, and persistence. They require overcoming both tangible obstacles and emotional obstacles. So, some have suggested that in addition to creating an action plan (a plan for what you will do), it can be helpful to have a coping plan (Sniehotta, Schwarzer, Scholz, & Schüz, 2005).

Here are some tips for how to do that:

1. Clarify possible challenges

Anticipating the situations that will slow or stall your progress toward the goal can help you develop a plan for how to respond effectively. Then, creating "if-then" statements for each potential obstacle can help you more easily overcome it.

For example, if I'm exhausted and just need a nap during the time I have set aside for my well-being goal, it's OK because then I have a backup time set up that I only use when I need it.

2. Think about how to overcome distraction

Perhaps the most common obstacle is distraction. Maybe some parts of our long-term well-being goal are boring or hard. Or, there are just a lot of distractions in our lives. That's why putting a plan in place to minimize distractions can be helpful.

For example, we can download an app to pause our emails, log ourselves out of social media, or put a time limit on our internet time. Or, maybe we benefit from headphones to drown out noise. Or maybe we just need a few snacks nearby so we don't have to keep running out to get something.

Think about what distracts you and how you might overcome these things.

​3. Know your challenges

Take some time to think about what's stopped you from reaching past well-being goals. Write these down and then brainstorm what you'll do. Try to be specific (say more than "I'll figure it out!").

For example, if low self-confidence often keeps you from reaching your well-being goals, maybe you use some self-compassion exercises when you find you're getting down on yourself.

By having specific plans in place to cope with your unique difficulties, you can increase your chances of success.

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Take the next step to better mental and emotional well-being

Arrange a free consultation with our resident well-being coach

What well-being goals do you have and how can you achieve them? If you need more help exploring your well-being goals, book a free consultation with our well-being coach.

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References

●      Nair, K. S. (2003). Life goals: the concept and its relevance to rehabilitation. Clinical Rehabilitation, 17(2), 192-202.​

●      Latham, G. P., & Locke, E. A. (2007). New developments in and directions for goal-setting research. European Psychologist, 12(4), 290-300.

●      Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: the self-concordance model. Journal of personality and social psychology, 76(3), 482.

●      Sniehotta, F. F., Schwarzer, R., Scholz, U., & Schüz, B. (2005). Action planning and coping planning for long‐term lifestyle change: theory and assessment. European Journal of Social Psychology, 35(4), 565-576.

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