How to Winter Well (Even If It’s Not Your Season)
Struggling with emotional burnout or winter blues? Discover how to winter well with gentle rhythms, cozy rituals, and a new way to care for yourself in the darker months.
I have never been a winter person.
I long for open skies, sunshine, warmth. Winter often feels like a long stretch of darkness and something to survive. Something to wait out until spring finally arrives and everything starts to bloom again.
But lately, I’ve been asking myself a different question:
What if winter isn’t something to get through?
What if it’s something to be in?
And even — if we’re open to it — something to learn from?
Winter as a Season of Pause
We live in a world that rarely pauses. Even in the darkest days of the year, we’re expected to produce, perform, plan, and push through. But what if winter is offering us something else entirely?
What if it’s asking us to slow down not because we’re “weak” but because we really need to.
For me, learning to winter well has meant stepping away from the pressure to “keep going” at all costs, and learning instead how to listen. To rest. To accept that being in a quieter season of life doesn’t make me less.
It just makes me human.
The Messy Middle (And Why You Don’t Need a Perfect Ending)
For a long time, I treated winter as the end of the year. A time to wrap things up, tie a bow on my life, and get ready for a clean start in January.
But what I’ve come to realise is that winter isn’t the end.
It’s the in-between.
It’s the space between what was and what’s coming. The quiet middle of the story. The time where not much appears to be happening and yet everything is quietly changing.
And there’s something liberating in that. Because it means we don’t need to have everything figured out. We don’t need to finish the year “strong.” We just need to keep going in our own way and at our own pace.
The Wisdom of Wintering
Katherine May, in her beautiful book Wintering, describes this season not just as a temperature change but as a way of being.
She invites us to see winter as a necessary season in all of our lives. Not just one marked by frost, but one defined by slowness, solitude, and surrender. A space where we allow things to fall away. Where we let our inner worlds recalibrate. Where we allow ourselves to stop striving.
This is an idea that I keep returning to:
Everything in nature knows how to winter.
Why shouldn’t we?
Trees drop their leaves and conserve energy.
Soil rests.
Animals hibernate.
The world turns inward — and trusts spring will come again.
Rest Is Not Laziness. It’s Wisdom.
Like many people, I find rest difficult.
I like doing. I like moving. I’ve spent most of my life thinking that energy and productivity were signs that I was doing life right.
But then came a health challenge that knocked me flat and I had to learn that energy is a resource. That rest is not just indulgence, but survival.
And winter, for me, has become a mirror of that lesson. It asks us to stop fighting our need for pause. To stop seeing stillness as failure. To stop expecting ourselves to be blooming all year round.
Making Peace with Quiet
Here’s something I’ve noticed about winter: it asks us to sit in the quiet. And that’s not always comfortable.
But the quiet isn’t empty. It’s full of possibility.
Therapist Julia Samuel talks about the fertile void — a period where things look empty on the surface, but underneath, growth is happening. That’s winter. A time where what’s growing is invisible, but no less real.
If you’re in that space right now — the uncertain middle, the undefined stretch know that you’re not lost. You’re just wintering.
Connection Still Matters (Especially Now)
Winter can feel isolating. We stay in. We cancel plans. We disappear behind closed doors.
But those small moments of connection — they still matter.
Sometimes they’re the thing that get us through.
A friend who sends a voice note.
A neighbour who pops by with cookies.
A candlelit dinner where no one wears sequins and everyone brings a story.
Wintering well doesn’t have to mean withdrawing completely. It can mean choosing gentle connection over performance. Intimacy over expectation.
Your Wintering Toolkit (Small Things That Matter)
Here are some of the things that are helping me stay grounded this season:
The Daily 3-2-1: Three things I’m grateful for. Two things I’m curious about. One way I can make today easier.
A candle in the kitchen while I cook.
Woollen socks and a hot water bottle at my desk.
A therapy lamp by the window.
A stack of books that feel like comfort.
The sound of nothing. (Or of my family laughing.)
These aren’t revolutionary. But they’re enough to anchor me. And that’s what wintering well is about — enough.
A Different Kind of Self-Care
This time of year, we’re flooded with messages about self-care. But often, it ends up sounding like a shopping list of scented candles and self-help guides.
What if self-care in winter meant not doing more, but doing differently?
What if it meant:
Choosing quiet over hustle
Letting go of one tradition that drains you
Making space for rest, without apology
Listening to what your body (and your soul) actually needs
A Gentle Prompt for You
Here’s what I’m asking myself this winter:
What does it look like to winter well, just for me?
What if that doesn’t mean fixing anything, achieving anything, or even feeling festive?
What if it simply means honouring this season for what it is — and who you are in it?
If You’re Looking for Support This Winter…
Wintering doesn’t mean you have to go it alone.
If this season is bringing up emotional burnout, loneliness, fatigue or a longing to rest but not knowing how — this might be a beautiful time to explore support through coaching.
Together, we can:
Create space for your real needs
Gently navigate grief, fatigue, or burnout
Make winter more livable — maybe even quietly beautiful
Click here to explore coaching. Or book a free 20-minute consult to find out what you’re looking for.
You Don’t Have to Love Winter
You don’t have to fall in love with snow, or embrace darkness like it’s a friend.
But you can learn to live well inside the season you’re in.
And that, in its own way, is enough.
So here’s to this winter.
To quieter mornings.
To softer evenings.
To connection and coziness and not having to bloom right now.
Here’s to wintering well — in whatever way that looks like for you.
Friendship First: Celebrating Connection This Galentine's Day
Explore the joy of friendship, why it matters to your well-being, and how to nurture these bonds—especially in the isolating winter months.
Winter often brings a sense of stillness, but for many of us, it can also feel isolating. Long nights and cold days can leave us yearning for connection—those shared moments that remind us we’re not alone. This Galentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to celebrate the friendships that light up our lives, especially during this quieter time of year.
Science tells us that friendships aren’t just nice to have; they’re essential. From boosting our mental health to supporting our longevity, these connections nurture us in ways we often overlook.
The Science of Friendship: The People That Hold Us Together
Friendship isn’t just good for the soul; it’s vital for our well-being. Research shows that meaningful relationships can reduce stress, strengthen resilience, and even improve physical health. Whether it’s a quick catch-up over coffee or a heartfelt phone call, these connections create a buffer against loneliness.
Positive psychology tells us that shared experiences strengthen our sense of belonging. Even simple rituals—like meeting a friend for a walk or laughing over a shared memory—build powerful emotional bonds.
Friendships also teach us the value of showing up for each other in small ways. Being present for someone, without trying to fix their problems, creates a space where both people feel seen and supported.
Practical Ways to Celebrate Friendship This Galentine’s Day
Friendship thrives on intention. Here are a few ideas to nurture your bonds this winter:
Host a Candlelight Dinner Tradition:
Invite a friend over for a simple meal by candlelight. Share stories, laugh, and enjoy the warmth of connection.
Create a Winter Walk Ritual:
Bundle up and explore your local park or neighbourhood together. The fresh air and movement can lift your spirits.
Swap Playlists or Books:
Share your favourite music or a novel that resonated with you. It’s a small gesture that sparks deeper conversations.
Start a Mini Friendship Project:
Whether it’s a joint craft, a collaborative journal, or planning a small adventure, working on something together strengthens bonds.
Gratitude in Action:
Write a short message to a friend sharing why you appreciate them. It doesn’t have to be long—just heartfelt.
How Friendship Changes Us
Friendships are life’s anchors, keeping us steady when we feel adrift. They remind us that life is a shared journey, full of laughter, support, and even the occasional tear.
This Galentine’s Day, celebrate your friendships in all their perfectly imperfect beauty. Honour the messy schedules, the missed calls, and the moments where you showed up for each other anyway.
And if you’re longing to deepen your connections, take the first step: reach out. Friendships don’t need grand gestures; they need small, consistent acts of care.
“Take a moment today to text or call one friend you’re grateful for. Let them know why they’re important to you. It’s a small gesture that can mean the world.”
Celebrate Friendship With Us
At If Lost, Start Here, we know how crucial connection is for emotional well-being.
Join us in celebrating the beauty of friendship. Sign up for our newsletter or explore our facilitated courses to find out more. Because life feels better when it’s shared.
Embracing the Winter Season: Finding Magic in these Darker Months
Discover how to embrace winter's challenges and uncover its magic. Learn the art of slowing down, connecting with nature, and nurturing yourself through cozy practices and meaningful connections. Wintering well starts here.
Welcome to an exploration of a season that, for many, can feel daunting and seemingly endless: winter.
Much like you, I too have wrestled with the challenges that this cold and often gloomy time of year can present. Today, I want to challenge myself, and maybe you too, to find ways not just to endure but embrace winter, discovering a bit of magic along the way.
Winter isn't my favorite. It can feel relentless and isolating, casting a shadow over everything I do. I recognize its impact on my mental well-being, so I’m currently trying to make peace with it.
My goal this winter is to uncover some of its hidden gems—those small moments of beauty and coziness that might make the season more bearable, perhaps even enjoyable.
The Art of Wintering
My perspective began to shift after reading Katherine May's book, Wintering, which explores winter not merely as a season, but as a state of being. This time invites us to slow down, even when it feels uncomfortable. May's wisdom encourages us to accept winter's potential benefits—a more restful period in our lives.
I've come to see the tension in winter as both a call for productivity and an invitation to rest. The shorter days urge us to pause.
Could slowing down actually be productive? It's a question that might help us better navigate the different pace of this season.
Lessons from Nature
Could nature guide us through winter's challenges? Trees drop their leaves, conserving energy. Hedgehogs hibernate. Seeds rest beneath the earth. Nature embraces its seasons. Can we do the same?
The concept of the "fertile void"—a space where nothing seems to happen on the surface, yet beneath there's preparation and potential—resonates with me, particularly in the winter.
Are we, by slowing down, able to prepare for something needed right now, that might even return us back to ourselves in future months?
Connection: A Winter Essential
In winter, self-care often focuses on going inward. While important, there's also a need for connection. We must remember to lean on each other. Connection combats isolation and its creeping melancholy.
Consider small acts of connection this winter. Reach out—invite a friend for a walk, send a heartfelt message.
Building these threads of connection can lift us, and help us through these cold months.
Acceptance and Curiosity
Winter is an opportunity to disconnect from constant productivity and embrace the season's messy middle—the space between endings and beginnings.
We don't need to have it all figured out. Exploration can keep curiosity alive.
Whether it’s trying new recipes, chasing the light, or asking what sparks your curiosity now, these are paths winter opens for us.
Anchoring Ourselves
I've found anchoring practices helpful to remain present in ways that feel good this winter. A daily 3-2-1 practice—three things I’m grateful for, two things I’m curious about, and one act of kindness for myself or others—brings new awareness to my days.
Consider creating a well-being winter toolkit: perhaps the crackle of a fire, a glow of candles, a cozy weighted blanket, or a beloved seasonal movie.
What small comforts help you anchor in winter?
Seeking Ways to Wintering Well
Wintering well is not about fighting the season but listening—finding rest and connection in its quiet months.
Ask yourself: What would wintering well look like for me? Resting more, reaching out more, or simply acknowledging the good already present in your life?
What strategies have you developed to handle winter?
Until next time, take care, stay warm, and remember that if winter does not become your favorite season, spring is just around the corner.
Coming soon: how to navigate messy family relationships during the holidays—right when we need it the most.
How to Manage Holiday Burnout and Embrace Seasonal Self-Care
Feeling stressed or overwhelmed this holiday season? Discover practical self-care habits, ways to connect positively, and tips to manage emotions and end-of-year burnout.
Last December, I found myself sitting in my car outside a crowded shopping centre, utterly drained. I had just spent hours rushing from one errand to the next, trying to make everything perfect for the holidays.
Instead of feeling festive, I felt a deep sense of resentment—toward the season, the expectations, and even myself for not being able to keep up.
It wasn’t until I stopped and asked, “What do I actually need right now?” that I realised I wasn’t failing; I was simply running on empty. That moment shifted how I approached the rest of the holidays.
The holidays bring a mix of joy and chaos— it’s a season to celebrate, yet one that can also push us to our limits. Between endless to-do lists, more complicated family dynamics, and the pressure to make everything perfect, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. Add in the emotional weight of year-end reflections, and burnout can quickly take hold.
But what if we could shift the focus this season, embracing a gentler, maybe even messier, approach that prioritizes your well-being? Here are some ideas for avoiding, or navigating, holiday burnout.
First, How to Identify Holiday Burnout
Holiday burnout can creep up on us, often disguised as everyday stress. It might feel like constant exhaustion, even after a full night’s sleep, or irritability over small things that wouldn’t normally bother you.
Physically, it can show up as tension headaches, a racing mind, or a sense of being on edge. Emotionally, you may notice feelings of detachment, overwhelm, or resentment toward tasks and traditions you once enjoyed.
Pay attention to the signals: are you losing your patience more easily, withdrawing from loved ones, or struggling to keep up with your usual energy levels? Recognizing these signs early is the first step in addressing burnout and finding ways to restore your capacity during the season.
Just know that burnout during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong; it means you’re human. And if holiday burnout does show up use it as a reminder to pause and reconnect with what truly matters.
Second, What to Do If You’re Feeling Burned Out This Holiday Season
Here’s how to manage holiday burnout while embracing seasonal self-care and meaningful connection:
1. Pause and Identify Your Emotions
When emotions feel overwhelming, we often want to avoid them at all costs, but paying attention to them could be the key to feeling better. Take a moment just to name your emotions. Saying (to yourself perhaps) “I feel anxious” or “I feel overwhelmed” helps reduce the intensity of an emotion and gives you clarity on what you need.
2.Incorporate Seasonal Self-Care
Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate. Embrace small habits like enjoying a quiet cup of tea, stepping outside for fresh air, or saying no to an unnecessary task.
We often think this is the part that’s “indulgent” or that can be pushed back to later, but it’s often these small practices that can create the breathing room we most need amidst the chaos.
3. Build Positive Connections
Instead of focusing on what’s expected, look for authentic ways to connect. Share a meal, have a heartfelt conversation, or take a moment to thank someone you appreciate. Small, genuine interactions can uplift your mood and theirs.
This might mean that you don’t make three stuffings, or that you don’t pack in multiple events in one day, or that you buy one less perfect gift. Sometimes paring back or even shifting our expectations, can give us what we most need: time with the people we love and value the most.
Shifting the focus from perfection to presence can help transform the season into something meaningful, even amidst the busyness.
4. Set Boundaries for Your Emotional Capacity
When you feel your mental and emotional reserves depleting, give yourself permission to step back. Decline obligations that don’t serve you and focus on what truly restores your energy.
You don’t need to be “on” the whole Holiday Season: you can still honor your energy and it’s still ok to rest. It’s winter after all, a season that demands something quieter of us and invites us to retreat into cozy.
5. Reframe Your Perspective
Challenge the holiday “shoulds” and ask yourself, “What do I truly need right now?” Maybe it’s a moment of solitude, a conversation with a loved one, or just letting go of perfection.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that holidays are only successful if they’re flawless. But the truth is, the most meaningful moments often come when we let go of the pressure to do everything and focus instead on what we truly value.
When you start to feel burned out, try to connect back in with yourself and discover what you really need from this season so it can stay joyful and magical to you.
This Holiday Season give yourself permission to rewrite the rules. Focus on what feels good to you, whether it’s embracing rest, creating space for joy, or finding new ways to connect with others. Start small, and remember: it’s okay to prioritise yourself in the midst of everything else.
What emotions are showing up for you this holiday season? How are you balancing connection and self-care?
Feeling stressed, overwhelmed or a little burned out this Holiday Season?
Here’s how we can help:
1. Book a personalized Emotions Coaching session.
2. Join our Bath Workshop on Navigating Holiday Emotions.
3. Subscribe to our newsletter for our Well-ish Guide to the Holiday Season
Choose Love
This holiday season support pop-up stores Choose Love by gifting everyday items to refugees who urgently need them.
“‘The world’s first store that sells real products for refugees.’”
Holiday Fatigue. Compassion Fatigue. Everyday life fatigue.
At this time of year, as the days get darker and our schedules more frantic, many of us find ourselves exhausted, overwhelmed, maybe also panicked. We’re under pressure to consume, to shop, to scramble for all the things that we don’t need and that we probably won’t even remember in January. Some of us are starting to realize that we don’t love this Black Friday to January Sales treadmill, that it benefits someone’s bottom line but not us. We’re starting to look for ways to do the holidays differently.
Like Choose Love. No, that is not just a cute Instagrammable aphorism (though it does take a covetable merchandise form). It is an urgently needed pop-up that takes that holiday spending money and uses it for good, not seasonally appropriate greed. The Choose Love stores brought to us by Glimpse design collective—there are now 3, in London, New York, and Los Angeles—only sell things that refugees vitally need that you get to gift to them. The stores are arranged by the different stages and shifting requirements of displaced people. There’s ‘Arrival’, ‘Shelter’, and ‘Future’. A life jacket. Children’s boots. A hot shower. Safe spaces for women. A Bundle of Warmth. Think about these things for a second. Think about how and why they are needed. We defy your heart not to break just a little.
As CEO of Help Refugees (the NGO behind Choose Love), Josie Noughton sums it up: "It's easy to forget how lucky we are to have a bed, a blanket and a roof over our heads. For thousands of refugees this winter, these basic human needs are completely out of reach. This shop is all about one simple idea: that we should all Choose Love and help those in need."
Choose Love stores fill that compassion gap between the moment that we’re shocked by the news and the horrors that refugees fleeing climate change, war and persecution face, and the moment that we don’t know what to feel and what to do about it. By holding everyday items in our hands that people need, it returns essential humanity to the stories that we’ve become numb to and the headlines that we learn to forget. Simple things like baby items, clean and safe water, a bag of school supplies, restore the idea that these are real people, not just statistics, who need our help and deserve our kindness.
Though these brightly colored stores feel like a boutique gift shop, they are designed for you to leave with nothing except the knowledge that whatever it is you purchased is now finding its way to one of 120+ partners who support displaced people. You may be empty-handed, but you’ll definitely feel big-hearted. This is gift-giving as its best: we now know that doing something for someone else has a more lasting impact than doing something just for yourself. And beyond the 40,000 customers that it has to date served, Choose Love has a significant impact on the recipient too.
Since Choose Love launched in 2017, these pop-ups with a purpose have sent 1.5 million items to refugees, assisted one million displaced people in Europe, the Middle East, and the US-Mexico border, and raised 3 million pounds. Those statistics are staggering, particularly when you think that Choose Love is a relatively new concept on our High Streets. As brick-and-mortar retail is supposedly dying, they indicate a way forward for how our stores can change the world. Needs on both sides are now being met through something we’re overly familiar with, shopping and a place that has lost its own way, our High Streets.
Choosing Love matters; at a time when we’re divided across borders and beliefs, this simple mantra, and the enterprise behind it reminds us that we have options. We can choose to help people who really need it with our purchases this holiday season. And if you need any more encouragement, let’s give Banksy the last say: “For the person who has everything, buy something for someone who has nothing.’
(Also to look out for: You can also shop Choose Love for a Holiday gift – the recipient will receive a downloadable gift card with details of your item. Also, as these stores are staffed entirely by volunteers – you can gift your time.)
