Why Good Coaching Starts with Space — and the Thinking That Happens There
In this wellbeing podcast conversation, educational psychologist and coach Sarah Philp explores the link between thinking, action, and the spaces that make transformation possible. Perfect for anyone curious about coaching or feeling lost, burned out, or disconnected from themselves.
What if you can’t rush a thought into something useful.
That’s one of the learnings that emerged in my recent short-form podcast conversation with Sarah Philp, an educational psychologist and coach who’s built her work on the belief that:
“The quality of everything human beings do depends on the quality of the thinking that we do first.” — Nancy Klein
It sounds simple. But think about your week so far — how often have you given yourself, or someone else, uninterrupted space to follow a thought to its end?
For many of us, the answer is almost never.
On why coaching isn’t advice — it’s space
If you’ve ever wondered what coaching really is, just know that it’s not someone telling you what to do.
Good coaching is the art of creating space — a physical, mental, and emotional container where you can think more deeply than you might on your own. It’s presence without pressure. It’s being witnessed in your thinking, without being hurried toward a solution before you’re ready.
In Sarah’s words, it’s “following the thread” of a thought. And in our busy, interrupted lives, that’s a rare thing.
Why thinking and action need each other
Coaching is often misunderstood as being only about action — setting goals, hitting targets, ticking boxes. But action without clear thinking can be reactive, scattered, even counterproductive.
On the other hand, thinking without movement can keep us stuck in loops of over-analysis.
The power is in the relationship between the two. The right kind of thinking — spacious, supported, fully explored — naturally leads to clearer, more aligned action. And action, in turn, gives thinking something to respond to.
The role of space in wellbeing
Space isn’t just about coaching sessions. It’s also about the environments and practices that help you reset — whether that’s a walk in nature, a few minutes of stillness before starting your day, or, in Sarah’s case, cold water swimming and time on the Isle of Skye.
These moments aren’t indulgences; they’re essential to wellbeing. They give you a vantage point outside the noise, where you can reconnect to yourself and what matters most.
If you’re feeling lost, burned out, or disconnected
You don’t have to fix everything at once. Sometimes, the first step is simply to create a little more space — in your day, in your conversations, in your head.
That’s where coaching can help. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about having the time, attention, and support to find the ones that fit you.
If that sounds like something you need, we think you’ll love this latest episode of A Thought I Kept. It’s thoughtful and full of insights that might just shift the way you think — and act.
Listen now to on Substack, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
Vent Over Tea
Tatiana Backlund writes about a new active listening service in Montreal that you can seek out when you are in need of a good ole chat.
When someone tells you their problems, do you try to fix it? We tend to offer alternatives and suggestions when people share their feelings. But sometimes people don't need advice, they just need someone to listen. Just being heard by an empathetic person can help us feel validated and understood.
In Montreal, Canada, Vent Over Tea offers a free, in-person, confidential active listening service to the community. This volunteer driven service aims to promote mental wellness and connection within the comfort of a local café.
I had the opportunity to speak with the amazing folks over at Vent Over Tea to get a more in-depth understanding of this initiative.
Can you walk us through what to expect when you book a session with Vent Over Tea?
When you book a vent session through our online platform, you pick a day, time, and cafe to meet at that’s convenient for you. On the day of the vent session, you meet at the cafe, you each buy your own beverages, and then you get to talking!
When booking the session, you’ll be prompted to list any particular topics you’d like to talk about in the session, but during it you can talk about whatever you’d like. You can make chitchat and ease into whatever topic has been weighing on your mind or dive right into it. Maybe something else has come up since you booked the session that you’d rather discuss. Our active listeners are there to create a space for you to talk about what’s on your mind, so the listener doesn’t have any expectations about what, when, or how things “should” be discussed.
What value can an active listener bring?
Vent Over Tea’s active listeners bring value by helping to create a space for people to vent, explore feelings, and possibly even discover their own solutions. The idea of Vent Over Tea came about when one of our co-founders, Sarah Fennessy, had worked through her PTSD and no longer needed to see her therapist but realized she still liked having someone to talk to. Around the same time, Sarah learned about a study that found that people with low levels of depression and anxiety saw on average as much improvement in their mental health by speaking with an empathetic listener as they did speaking with a professional therapist. Our service aims to offer our venters empathy and understanding to help with their mental wellbeing.
What main goal does VOT hope to accomplish?
Vent Over Tea's main goal is to promote mental wellbeing. It’s a lofty goal for sure! There are three main ways we try to improve the mental wellness of those we interact with:
There are lots of instances where a person could benefit from talking about their issues, but they don’t need to see a professional psychologist. We understand how helpful it can be to talk through what’s bothering you with an engaged, impartial listener. We want to give people in these situations an outlet to vent to another human being face-to-face.
We want to help destigmatize help-seeking for mental health. Whether you just want to vent to one of our active listeners or you have a mental illness and want to see a psychiatrist, through our service, events, blog, and social media, we try to spread the message that it’s okay to talk about how you’re feeling; it’s okay to ask for help.
Finally, we want to help create a connection within our community. Montreal is a well-populated city, but it’s common to feel lonely and isolated here—even when you’re pressed up against strangers on the metro. Through our events in particular—but also through our service and digital presence—we try to create space for people to connect with others in a way that makes them feel more rooted in our community. We truly believe that facilitating this sense of belonging will have a positive impact on the mental health of the members of our community.
If you think you’d benefit from Vent Over Tea’s services and to find out more visit: Website, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram