Better Read Book Festival

Perfect For

Better Read Book Fest is for readers interested in self-development, mental health and emotional wellbeing. It's for coaches, therapists and wellbeing practitioners. If you want to learn more about how you can support your own mental and emotional wellbeing this festival is for you.

Why You’ll Love It

Better Read Book Fest is the UK’s first literary festival dedicated entirely to wellbeing books. It's a one-day celebration of books focusing on self-development, mental health and emotional wellbeing, and their authors. The festival is taking place on Saturday 3 October in Abergavenny, south Wales.

What Makes It Special

Literary festivals may include books on mental health and self-development, and wellbeing festivals can feature wellbeing authors alongside workshops and practical experiences. But until now there hasn’t been a UK literary festival dedicated solely to books focused on personal development, mental health and emotional wellbeing, and their authors.

No workshops, no other genres, purely authors sharing their books, their experience, research and expertise with readers. These books provide validation, greater self-understanding and practical tools, empowering the reader where they’ve felt lost and alone, in an accessible form and price.

You will leave feeling inspired, informed, empowered and uplifted. 

The If Lost Take

When we first heard about a festival dedicated entirely to wellbeing books, it was an instant yes. It brings together so much of what we care about: wellbeing and words, connection and community, ideas and the people who love them too.

We believe there’s something powerful about the right book finding you at the right moment. It can steady you, shift your thinking, or simply help you feel a little less alone. And already, the authors announced for this festival feel like exactly those kinds of voices.

There’s also something quietly joyful about being in a room full of people who care about these books as much as you do — who know the non-fiction bestseller list almost as well as their local takeaway menu.

We’ve interviewed Gabrielle (and speaker Suzy Reading) on the podcast, and what stands out is the warmth and intention behind this festival. It’s been thoughtfully curated with a genuine belief in bringing people together around ideas — not to prescribe what wellbeing should look like, but to help each of us explore what it means in our own lives.

Founder’s Story | Gabrielle Treanor

“Years ago when I was struggling with anxiety, people-pleasing, overthinking and overwhelm (which I later discovered was due in part to my unrecognised ADHD) it was picking a book on positive psychology off the shelf in my local bookstore, and subsequently diving headfirst into wellbeing books, that gave me a sense of agency. In these books I found explanation and understanding as well as ideas and tools to support myself.

I then embarked on a journey which ultimately led to writing my own book, The 1% Wellness Experiment (published Dec 2023), and supporting others as an ADHD coach, writer and podcaster.

My respect and appreciation for the writers who pour their knowledge, skills, experience and heart into their wellbeing books inspired me to champion and celebrate this genre by creating Better Read Book Fest.”

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Some Practical Details

The festival is a day of interviews and panel discussions with the authors about their books, self-development, mental health and emotional wellbeing, and space to ask them questions. There will be the opportunity to purchase the authors’ books and have them signed by the authors. Festival merchandise will also be on sale. 

Authors confirmed so far are Suzy Reading, Natalie Lue, Dr Helen Wall and Natasha Page.

The festival won't be available online but there will be interviews with the authors in a special festival season on the Pressing Pause podcast.

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Venue: St Mary’s Priory Hall, Monk St, Abergavenny NP7 5ND

Date: 3rd October, 2026

Website | Social media

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Manipura House, Bath

Perfect For

Anyone interested in looking after their long term physical and mental health, supporting fitness and recovery from trauma. This is also the ideal place for anyone who understands that massage therapy is more than just a one-off treat, but an essential partner for a healthy lifestyle.

Why You’ll Love It

Manipura House is a centre that takes care of your physical and mental wellness and that’s on a mission to elevate your health and restore your energy.

Hosted in a stunning Grade II Listed building in the heart of Bath, you will find exceptional bodywork, clinical massage, therapeutic massage therapy, wellbeing workshops and accessible recovery tools plus a range of wellness services, to help transform your ability to connect mind and body.

The name Manipura refers to your solar plexus, a bundle of nerves in the abdomen that regulates the body’s stress response. As co-founder Lynsey Keyes explains: “It is the centre of our identity and energy, and the key to unlocking our personal power. By tapping into this nerve centre in a variety of ways we can build a strong, confident foundation from which to grow, empowering ourselves with knowledge and awareness of our mind and body to take charge of our own health.”

What Makes It Special

Located on a stunning street, the space hosts a range of highly trained and skilled expert bodywork therapists, who understand and work with your individual needs. It’s a one-stop health hub connecting wellness practitioners through workshops and coaching sessions as well as a curated wellbeing retail offering.

The If Lost Take

One of the hardest things to do when you’re ready to take care of your physical and mental wellbeing is finding the right practitioners to support you. Manipura House takes away the guess work. Under one roof, you’ll find the people and the space you need to help you better move through everyday life.

We’ve handpicked Manipura House for our Wellbeing Guide to Life because it perfectly reflects what we look for in a wellness space: expert-led, beautifully designed, and truly grounded in whole-person care.

Whether you’re seeking to reconnect with your body, manage stress, or explore long-term support for your physical and mental health, this is a place where expert knowledge and compassionate care come together. Expect evidence-based therapies, bespoke treatments, and a deep respect for the mind-body connection.

Founder’s Go-To Wellbeing Advice:

“Our approach to healthcare should move beyond a reactive approach, to a more sustainable and enjoyable one. A holistic approach not just in name, but in the 360 degree services we engage with.”

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Some Practical Details

Therapy sessions are all in person on site. Their partner therapists may have online offerings.

Gift vouchers are available

You can book directly on the website.

 

11 Queen Street, Bath, BA1 1HE, United Kingdom

hello@manipurahouse.com

Tel: 0122 5984379

Website | Social Media

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Postcards from a Happy Place

I’m sitting under the shade of a 100-year-old tree in a west London park, the kind with branches that creak when the breeze moves through them. I’ve claimed one of the bright bean bags scattered across the lawn and wedged it against the bark. It’s quieter here than in the big open-sided marquee where the talks are held. I almost left earlier — the heat was stifling — but this patch of dappled light invited me to stay.

This is the Happy Place Festival, Fearne Cotton’s annual celebration of all things wellbeing. Held in Gunnersbury Park, the event feels relaxed despite the crowds. There’s a sound bath tent, hormone talks, yoga happening under awnings, iced lattes for a quick pick-me-up, and a hum of voices talking about nutrition, breathwork, sleep, and happiness.

I wander a little, swap my trainers for sandals, browse the book tent, and eventually drift towards the Talk Tent — where the ideas start to land.

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What Wellbeing Looks Like When You Do It at Your Own Pace

There’s a clawfoot bathtub painted bright yellow on the lawn. Giant HAPPY PLACE letters. Pink phone booths for Instagram moments.

People move slowly, or not at all. Some stretch into yoga poses. Others lounge with notebooks. I’m surrounded mostly by women. An older woman in a navy wrap dress stands near a mother and daughter in yoga pants. And I start to wonder: What are we all here for?

A day of self-care? A search for clarity? A break from decision fatigue?

For me, it became about gathering small, meaningful insights or the big ideas that I hope might stick. Here's what I took home from a single day of getting away from it all (so I could get back to it all).

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5 Takeaways from The Happy Place Festival

1. Midlife Is for Beginning Again

“Everyone has something.” — Donna Ashworth

Poet Donna Ashworth shared that she didn’t begin writing until her mid-40s. “It was either me… or it,” she said. There was something inside her that needed to be expressed — even if it emerged messily.

Holly Tucker, founder of Holly & Co, echoed this. She shared that 75% of the small businesses they support were started by people aged 40–60. Midlife isn’t an ending. It’s the start of something else.

2. Listen to the Whispers of the Soul

The idea of tuning inward came up again and again. Katy Hill spoke of following the “whispers of the soul.” Kelly Holmes said she’s living not in the “if onlys” but the “maybes.”

What if we don’t need to have the whole plan — just enough of a nudge to start?

3. Time Is Measured in Moments, That Become Years

“Life is 80 summer holidays.” — Julia Bradbury

Oliver Burkeman’s 4000 Weeks was cited more than once. It’s a reminder that life is not endless. Julia Bradbury put it plainly: "You only get about 80 summers." She advocates for nature snacks as the way to reset her days — stepping outside every couple of hours to widen your gaze, regulate your nervous system, and remember you’re alive. The evidence backs her up. A University of Exeter study found that if 1.2 million people took part in a green prescribing project that would save the NHS £635.6 million.

4. Start Imperfectly, Stay Imperfect

“Just begin.” — Donna Ashworth

Donna’s talk — and the reading of her poem “Just Begin” — was a balm for the overthinkers. “Someone here needs this,” she said before reading. She was right. That someone was me. And maybe it’s you too.

Start before you’re ready. Begin without knowing the outcome. Let the thing live in the world. That’s where the magic happens — not in the editing, but in the doing.

5. Small Impacts Matter

“What’s my impact?” — Holly Tucker

Holly said she grounds herself daily in one question: What will my impact be today? Not in a pressure-filled way, but as an invitation. She believes we all have the potential to lift others — to support their dreams in small, significant ways.

And if you don’t know your answer yet? Ask yourself: What lit you up when you were 10?

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Wellbeing That Feels Possible

There’s a lot out there right now about how to live better. Some of it’s helpful. A lot of it is loud. What this day reminded me is that you can be curious without committing to a complete reinvention.

Wellbeing isn’t a fixed destination or a 12-step plan. It’s something you get to define. Something you can build, imperfectly. Slowly. Softly. On your own terms.

Your happy place might not be mine. And that’s more than okay.

So, what’s your Version of a Happy Place?

Maybe it’s not a festival. Maybe it’s a book, or a walk, or a quiet cup of tea. The point is not to do more. It’s to tune in.

Here’s a gentle question to leave you with:

What whispers have you been ignoring?

And what might shift if you started to listen?

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Want to explore this further?

We’re creating spaces for the wellbeing curious — people who want better days, not busier ones.

1. Sign up to the newsletter

2. Explore our guide to feel-better places

3. Create your own wellbeing practice with coaching

Self Space

Perfect For

Anyone navigating life’s challenges—whether it’s stress, burnout, relationships, self-doubt, or just the need to talk things through with someone who truly listens.

Why You’ll Love It

Self Space is rewriting the rulebook on mental and emotional wellbeing. Think of it as a therapy studio for modern life—warm, welcoming, and refreshingly free from the clinical, impersonal feel of traditional therapy settings. Whether you need a one-off session or ongoing support, they make getting help as easy as grabbing a coffee (and honestly, just as essential).

What Makes It Special

• No waiting lists – Book a session when you actually need it, not months down the line.

• Flexible therapy – From in-person appointments from across its sites in London to online sessions from anywhere.

• A modern, stigma-free approach – No judgment, just real conversations with expert therapists who get it.

The Story Behind It

Self Space was co-founded in 2018 by therapists Jodie Cariss and Chance Marshall. Frustrated by long wait times and clinical settings, they envisioned a more accessible and contemporary approach to mental health support. Starting from a small workshop in Shoreditch, they now plan to expand Self Space across the UK, offering a radically different way of accessing mental health support.

The If Lost Take

We love Self Space because it makes mental wellbeing as normal as physical wellbeing—like seeing a PT, but for your mind. It’s approachable, practical, and built for the way life actually works. If traditional therapy has ever felt intimidating, this is the alternative you’ve been looking for.

Something Else We Love

Self Space isn’t just about talking—it’s about making mental wellbeing part of everyday life. Their brilliantly designed merch does just that, from their book How to Grow Through What You Go Through (a straight-talking guide to navigating life’s ups and downs) to candles and tote bags stamped with reminders like “I’m a mess”—which, let’s be honest, we all feel at some point.

They also have one of the best mental health Instagram accounts out there. Expect refreshingly real, no-BS advice on everything from setting boundaries to handling burnout—plus the occasional reminder that you don’t have to “fix” yourself to be worthy.

Practical Details to Know

Self Space has Multiple locations + online

Website | Social Media

Finding Your Way Back: How Your Values Can Guide You in Uncertain Times

There’s a moment, in the middle of the mess, where everything feels like too much. Life shifts unexpectedly—work changes, relationships evolve, priorities get rearranged—and suddenly, you feel unmoored. The things that once made sense don’t anymore, and the question rises: Where do I go from here?

When everything feels chaotic, it’s tempting to grasp for quick fixes. More lists. More productivity hacks. More distractions. But what if the answer isn’t found in doing more—but in coming back to what’s already inside you?

That’s where your values come in. Not as abstract concepts, but as a compass that can help you find clarity, stability, and connection—even in the most challenging times.

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1. Values Provide Direction When You Feel Lost

When you’re standing at a crossroads, uncertain about which way to go, your values act as an internal GPS. They remind you of what truly matters—not what society says should matter, not what the world expects of you, but what’s meaningful to you.

If you feel disconnected or overwhelmed, ask yourself:

• Which decision aligns with my values?

• What would I choose if I weren’t afraid of disappointing others?

• How do I want to feel at the end of this?

Values create clarity. They help you cut through the noise and make choices that feel true to who you are.

Try This: Next time you're struggling with a decision, write down your top three values and weigh each option against them. Which choice best aligns with them? That’s your answer.

Not sure what your values are? Read on to find out.

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2. Values Keep You Grounded When Life Feels Uncertain

We live in a world that is constantly shifting, and uncertainty can feel exhausting. But here’s the thing: circumstances change—your values don’t.

When life feels overwhelming, grounding yourself in your values can help you regain stability. If you value creativity, carve out space for small creative moments each day. If you value family, prioritize time with loved ones. If growth is important to you, focus on learning something new rather than trying to control the uncontrollable.

Try This: Identify one small action you can take daily that reflects your core values. It doesn’t have to be grand—just consistent.

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3. Values Help You Build Deeper, More Authentic Connections

When you live in alignment with your values, you naturally attract people and communities that reflect them. If you’ve ever felt disconnected from those around you, it may be because you’re engaging in spaces that don’t align with what truly matters to you.

Values create belonging. They help you find people who see the world in a way that resonates with you.

Try This: If you feel isolated, seek out groups, events, or communities that center on your values. Love social impact? Join a volunteer project. Value creativity? Find a writing or art group. Want more adventure? Sign up for that outdoor retreat. Connection follows when you align your actions with what matters.

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How to Discover Your Core Values

Values aren’t always something we name—they’re something we live. But if you want to understand yours more deeply, try this:

• Observe Your Actions: Where do you naturally spend your time and energy? What do you prioritize, even when life is busy?

• Listen to Your Stories: The moments that made you proud, the experiences that frustrated you, the things that bring you deep joy—these all reveal what you truly care about.

• Ask Reflective Questions: What would you do if money weren’t an issue? What do you want to be remembered for? What feels deeply fulfilling?

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Living Your Values: Small Shifts That Make a Big Impact

Start Your Day with Intention

If creativity is a value, spend 10 minutes sketching or writing. If growth is important, read a few pages of an insightful book. Start the day in alignment, even in small ways.

Use Your Values for Decision-Making

When faced with a choice, ask: Which option best aligns with my values? If learning is a core value, say yes to that workshop over another evening of mindless scrolling.

Make Daily Micro-Connections

If family is a value, send a quick text or voice note to a loved one. If community matters, reach out to someone you admire and start a conversation.

Prioritize Tasks That Reflect Your Values

Instead of tackling your to-do list at random, organize it based on your values. If you value excellence, focus on quality over quantity. If integrity is key, prioritize honest conversations and meaningful work.

End Your Day with Reflection

Each night, write down one way you lived your values. It could be something as small as choosing kindness over frustration or speaking up when something felt misaligned.

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Why Coaching Can Help You Align With Your Values

Values work isn’t a one-time thing—it’s a lifelong practice. An ethical and certified coach can help you:

• Discover What Truly Matters: Through guided exploration, coaching helps you uncover your values and how they show up in your life.

• Turn Insight into Action: Knowing your values is one thing—living them daily is another. A coach helps you create practical strategies to integrate them into your routine.

• Stay Accountable: Values shift over time, and having a coach ensures you stay connected to what’s most important as life evolves.

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Your Values Are Your Guide Home

If you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or disconnected, come back to your values. They are the steady foundation beneath you, the quiet voice reminding you of who you are and what truly matters.

This isn’t about self-improvement—it’s about self-alignment. You don’t have to be more, do more, or change who you are. You just have to listen to what’s already inside you.

What values are guiding you right now?

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Our 1:1 Coaching Sessions are designed to provide you with the space to reconnect with what truly matters to you.

If you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or disconnected, Your values can guide you back. Book a 90-minute Values Mapping Session to explore the core values that anchor you—helping you cut through the noise, make clearer decisions, and reconnect with what truly matters. Whether you're navigating uncertainty or simply want to feel more aligned, this session will bring clarity, stability, and direction.

Single Parents Wellbeing

Go here if: You are seeking some wellbeing support as a single parent.

What is it: Single Parents Wellbeing is a CIC in Wales run by single parents for single-parent families. They offer a peer-led, compassionate and connected approach to being in a single-parent household, improving the mental wellbeing of single-parent families.

What do they offer: Workshops and events for single parents and their families. They also have a wealth of resources online, an active Facebook Community and training and development opportunities for their Volunteers.

What makes it different: SPW is committed to breaking down barriers. By actively employing single parents and engaging volunteers from within the community, they provide meaningful opportunities for growth, fostering a sense of purpose and belonging.

Creating a safe and connected community is at the core of what they do. Through peer-led events, socials, and workshops, SPW aims to reduce isolation and loneliness, building a single-parent family community that supports and uplifts each other.

Recognising the importance of staying connected, SPW extends its support online, reaching single parents across Wales. Their online resources provide valuable support and information to those who may not have easy access to in-person services.

Who is behind Single Parents Wellbeing: SPW began when co-founders Rachel Cule and Amy Holland started a walking group in 2017 for single mums. They found each other on an online forum, each struggling with mental health and the stigma surrounding being a single parent. Getting outside with people in similar circumstances helped their mental health and overcame anxieties about being out and about as a single parent. Following funding from the National Lottery they are now able to reach a much larger audience. SPW now works tirelessly around mental health and supporting their community.

Not in Wales no worries: They also have a huge online resource of their blogs and podcasts as well as links to useful websites and helplines which can be accessed wherever you are.

Where inspires them: Nature, every time. Getting outside for a walk, swim or run makes all the difference. Remembering also that friends always want to support you, so reaching out to a friend for a listening ear is always helpful.

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Website | Social Media

42 Acres

Go here if: You’re looking to get into nature, reawaken your deep-rooted instincts and nourish yourself.

What is it: Set over 173 acres of wild land and ancient forest, 42 Acres is a regenerative estate and nature reserve where you can reconnect with nature, yourself and others.

Explore the self-guided and led retreats, often in partnership with world-renowned practitioners and aligned with nature, that encourage you to dream, grow, learn and rest. Stay in a restored 13th-century former hermitage, converted barge or under the stars in a luxury bell tent. Swim in the lake, meditate in the treehouse, sauna in the woods and nourish yourself with food grown on the land.

Why you need it: 42 Acres was first conceived in 2015 by siblings Lara and Seth Tabatznik as a home for personal, social and environmental change after having been deeply inspired by some powerful personal retreats and workshops in their own lives. Both Seth and Lara are strong advocates that outer change in the world starts with the self, or to quote Gandhi: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world”.

What they offer: At its core, 42 Acres invites people to reconnect with nature, self and others but has now grown to offer so much more including a range of wellbeing and nature-based experiences and events, a regenerative farm and an abundant nature reserve.

What makes it different: Living within an ancient forest, host to a variety of wild meadows and vast open fields and the source of four different rivers within a stone’s throw, this is a place for planting your dreams.

What you need to know: You can visit 42 Acres in several ways — as a guest on a day experience, workshop or energy exchange or by visiting them on retreat. All booked guests are free to roam the estate, swim in the lake and explore. Food, accommodation and experiences need to be pre-booked on their website.

In their own words:

“Our vision is to grow and consume in a way that serves the health of people and the planet. Our market gardens and regenerative farm use and permaculture and biodynamic-inspired principles. We grow, forage and wild-tend to create wholesome, nutrient-dense food. As we cultivate and restore health in our earth, we restore the worlds within ourselves.

We use our deepest intuition, ancient tools and shared knowledge to establish regenerative spaces, curate transformational experiences, and foster opportunities to learn, heal and grow.”

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42 Acres is a 173 -acre retreat centre, regenerative estate and nature reserve in Witham Friary, just outside of Frome, Somerset

Website | Social Media

All images courtesy of 42 Acres.

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Finding Purpose: The Story Behind If Lost Start Here

Have you ever felt like you’re trying to navigate life without a map? Maybe you’ve been searching for answers, or just a simple sense of direction in a world that feels more chaotic by the day.

We get it—because we’ve been there too. That’s why we built this company, not just for ourselves, but for you, and anyone else feeling lost and looking for guidance.

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What began as a deeply personal vow to help others has grown into a company with a big social mission.

It all began with a promise. Claire, one of our co-founders, had just dropped her mum off at yet another mental health ward. Her mum’s long struggle with clinical depression and anxiety had reached a point where Claire felt powerless to help. But in that moment of deep frustration and sadness, she made a vow: if she couldn’t fix things for her own mum, then she would do everything in her power to help others who felt equally lost.

That personal story is at the heart of If Lost Start Here—a wellbeing company that stands for much more than just offering advice or selling products. We exist because, like so many others, we know what it’s like to be overwhelmed by life’s challenges, and we wanted to create a place where people could start finding their way back to themselves.

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Our mission is rooted in five reasons—five guiding ‘whys’ that shape everything we do

Simon Sinek talks about finding your 'why'—the core purpose that drives everything you do. For us, that purpose is crystal clear. Every action we take, every product we develop, is rooted in five fundamental reasons:

1. Because Claire promised to help.

After that heartbreaking day at the psychiatric ward, she knew she had to create something that would offer real, meaningful support for those who feel lost.

2. Because we’re tired of the noise.

In today’s world, we’re bombarded with messages about how we need to change, improve, and be 'better' versions of ourselves. But sometimes, what we really need is to just accept ourselves as we are—and tune out the noise.

3. Because support matters.

We believe that to be truly self-guided, we also need collective support. Community and connection aren’t just nice-to-haves; they’re essential.

4. Because where we live matters.

Our environment—both the physical world around us and the inner world within us—shapes who we are. Exploring both is key to our wellbeing.

5. Because we follow curiosity.

We’re on a constant journey, always asking questions, always seeking new ways to support our community. Curiosity is the engine that drives us forward.

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From feeling overwhelmed to feeling supported—If Lost Start Here is about helping you find your way

At If Lost Start Here, we don’t just want to inspire you—we want to help you take real steps toward a better life. Our purpose is to guide you from feeling overwhelmed to feeling supported, from feeling lost to finding your way.

Whether you’re new to us or have been with us for a while, we’re committed to walking alongside you on this journey of self-discovery and wellbeing. We invite you to explore more on our website, sign up for our Well-ish newsletter, and let curiosity guide you, just as it does for us.

Let’s Get Started.

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Feeling lost in the world of wellness? Join our Well-ish newsletter for monthly insights, tips, and real stories to help guide you back to yourself. Sign up today and get our latest edition straight to your inbox!

Emotional Well-being Series | Learn how to cultivate positive emotions to improve well-being

Do you ever feel like joy is fleeting and hard to grasp? You're not alone. Many of us now find it challenging to maintain positive emotions amidst life’s demands. But what if understanding positive emotions better could help us experience them more often?

Positive emotions are one of the most enjoyable parts of being alive. But what exactly are positive emotions? What effect do they have on our lives? And how can we experience more of them?

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What are positive emotions?

Positive emotions are more than just fleeting moments of happiness; they are vital to our overall well-being. They encompass a wide range of experiences from joy and excitement to contentment and love.

Positive emotions exist on a continuum with negative emotions on one end and positive emotions on the other. However, the words we use to describe positive emotions generally lead us to think that positive emotions are discrete entities, separate from negative emotions. For example, “happy” and “sad” might be on two ends of one continuum but we think of them as different things.

Positive emotions can also be either high-energy (e.g., excitement, joy) or low-energy (e.g., calm, content).

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The importance of positive emotions on our well-being

Research shows that positive emotions not only make us feel good but also contribute to longevity, improved immune function, and greater resilience. Positive emotions may even be considered synonymous with happiness (but happiness may also include things like meaning or purpose).

Here are some examples of positive emotions:

●      Excitement. A feeling of great enthusiasm and eagerness.

●      Delight. To take great emotional pleasure in something.

●      Astonishment. A feeling of great surprise and wonder.

●      Happiness. Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.

●      Pleased. A feeling of pride or satisfaction.

●      Content. A state of happiness and satisfaction.

●      Relaxed. A state of being at rest or ease.

●      Calm. Not excited or upset.

Imagine how your life could change if you could tap into these emotions more frequently and deeply.

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How positive emotions differ from moods and why it matters

Understanding the nature of positive emotions can be a game-changer. Unlike moods, which are more prolonged and diffuse, positive emotions are typically short-lived and arise from specific experiences. They bring about changes in our nervous system, hormones, facial expressions, and even our thoughts. By learning to recognize and cultivate these emotions, we can enhance our mental and physical health.

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Engage, explore, and enjoy: Ways to increase positive emotions

1. Identify Positive Emotions

Start by recognizing different positive emotions such as excitement, delight, astonishment, happiness, and contentment. Each of these emotions has unique triggers and effects on our well-being.

2. Embrace Emotional Granularity

Develop the skill of emotional granularity, which means being able to identify and differentiate between a wide range of emotions. This can help you understand your emotional experiences more clearly and respond to them more effectively.

3. Cultivate Positive Experiences

Engage in activities that naturally evoke positive emotions. For example, joyful play, exploring new interests, savoring moments of contentment, and nurturing loving relationships can all help broaden your emotional repertoire.

4. Apply the Broaden and Build Theory:

According to Barbara Fredrickson's Broaden and Build Theory, positive emotions broaden our thought-action repertoire and build lasting personal resources. This means that by cultivating positive emotions, you can enhance your creativity, resilience, and social connections.

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Embrace positive emotions for a healthier, happier you

Positive emotions are powerful tools for enhancing your well-being. By identifying and cultivating these emotions, you can experience greater joy, resilience, and fulfillment in everyday life.

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Ready to enhance your emotional wellness and experience greater joy and contentment?

Our specialized emotions coaching sessions at If Lost Start Here can help you understand and cultivate positive emotions for a healthier, happier life.

Click the link to learn more and book your first session today!

Mental Well-being Series | How to overcome perfectionism

Ever feel like you’re constantly chasing an impossible standard? You’re not alone. Many women grapple with the pressures of perfectionism, feeling lost in the pursuit of flawlessness. But what if we told you that striving for perfection might actually be holding you back?

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How perfectionism impacts women's well-being

Picture this: You’re excelling at work, managing your home life, and still finding time to help friends and family. Yet, despite your successes, you feel exhausted, anxious, and never quite satisfied. You spend countless hours double-checking everything, afraid of making even the tiniest mistake.

This constant fear of failure leads to sleepless nights and chronic stress. This scenario is all too common for many women who push themselves to the brink, driven by the need to be perfect.

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Understanding healthy vs. unhealthy perfectionism

This experience illustrates the dual nature of perfectionism. While striving for excellence can lead to remarkable achievements, when it crosses into the realm of maladaptive perfectionism, it becomes detrimental. Understanding this balance is crucial for our well-being.

So, how can we recognize and overcome unhealthy perfectionism to lead more fulfilling lives?

1. Set Attainable Standards

Reflect on your goals and ask yourself if they are realistic. Unrealistic standards set you up for disappointment. Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks.

2. Embrace Flexibility

Life is unpredictable. Learning to adapt to changes and adjust your expectations can relieve a lot of pressure. Flexibility allows you to navigate life's ups and downs with more ease.

3. Reframe Mistakes

Mistakes are inevitable. Instead of viewing them as failures, see them as opportunities for growth and learning. This shift in perspective can reduce the fear and anxiety associated with perfectionism.

4. Seek Support

Sometimes, overcoming perfectionism requires external help. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly effective in helping you identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors.

5. Celebrate Progress

Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Recognizing your progress helps build self-confidence and reduces the constant pressure of striving for an unattainable ideal.

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Finding fulfillment beyond perfection: Your path to well-being

Perfectionism, when kept in check, can be a powerful motivator. However, when it becomes excessive, it can lead to stress, anxiety, and a perpetual sense of dissatisfaction.

By setting realistic goals, embracing flexibility, reframing mistakes, seeking support, and celebrating progress, we can transform our approach to perfectionism. This shift in approach allows us to enjoy our achievements and navigate everyday life with confidence and contentment, imperfections and all.

Remember, you are enough just as you are. Embrace your journey, and let go of the need to be perfect.

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Ready to overcome your perfectionist tendencies? Join our community at If Lost Start Here and start your journey towards a more balanced, fulfilling life.

Sign up for our newsletter to receive our favorite well-being tips, support, and resources tailored to help you embrace imperfection and thrive.

Create your path to clarity and calm by discovering your unique way to well

Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life? Many women today are searching for ways to navigate their busy schedules with more ease and purpose. Discover how our self-guided wellbeing course can help you reclaim your well-being and move forward with confidence.

Your Journey Towards Self-Wellness

Imagine taking a moment to pause and reflect on your current state, identifying areas of your life that feel cluttered and distracting. This simple act of reflection can give you a clearer picture of where to focus your energy. This is the first step, Taking Stock, in our self-guided online course designed to help create a personalized well-being practice.

As you move through the course, you’ll learn to Embrace Change. Letting go of old habits and beliefs can be liberating, making space for new growth. You’ll begin to live more intentionally, aligning your daily actions with your core values and goals.

The concept of Frequent Resets will become your new mantra. Regular, small adjustments can keep you aligned with your aspirations and prevent you from getting stuck.

You’ll explore how to Integrate New Practices that support your well-being, such as creative pursuits and adventures in nature.

Refreshing your life in meaningful ways—whether it's reevaluating relationships or learning to have a healthier relationship with your emotions—can give you a renewed sense of energy and purpose.

Finally, by Investing in Yourself, you’ll discover the joy of dedicating time and resources to activities that enrich your life, resulting in increased happiness and fulfillment.

Create Your Own Well-Being Practice

Many women have found themselves on a similar journey, seeking ways to feel more connected and less overwhelmed. Our online self-guided course is designed to help you create a tailored well-being practice that fits seamlessly into your daily life. It’s about learning to live with intention and acceptance, making small, attainable changes that lead to a more fulfilling life.

What You’ll Learn in Our Course

1. Take Stock: Gain clarity on what needs your attention.

2. Embrace Change: Let go of what no longer serves you.

3. Live Consciously: Make mindful choices aligned with your values.

4. Reset Frequently: Keep your life dynamic and forward-moving.

5. Integrate New Practices: Support your health and happiness.

6. Refresh Your Life: Create a renewed sense of energy and purpose.

7. Invest in Yourself: Find joy and fulfillment in personal growth.

Join Our Course Today

Imagine waking up each day with a sense of clarity and calm, knowing that you’re investing in your well-being in ways that truly matter. Our course is your guide to creating a well-being practice that’s uniquely yours.

Start your journey today and discover how to navigate your life with more ease, purpose, and joy. Click here to enroll in our online self-guided wellbeing course now.

Embrace the Magic of Midlife

Are you navigating the winding roads of midlife? You're not alone; in fact, one of us is right there with you, experiencing all the highs and lows of this transformative period.

The Midlife Awakening

Whether you're fully entrenched in midlife or supporting someone who is, understanding this phase can be a game-changer. Midlife brings a whirlwind of thoughts about aging, self-image, purpose, and relationships. The what-ifs and what's-to-comes might wake you up at 3 a.m., as frequently as those nighttime sweats do. Anxiety often feels like a constant companion, alongside that trusty retinol cream.

You look in the mirror and sometimes struggle to recognize the person staring back. The meticulously built life might not align with who you are today. Your career, relationships, and daily routines may no longer spark the joy they once did, leaving you wondering what's next.

Midlife challenges us to reassess our identities, paths, and future aspirations. Yet, within these challenges lie opportunities for rediscovery and new possibilities. It's a chance to get curious about life again, even amidst the brain fog and hot flushes.

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From Lost to Found

So, how do you transition from feeling lost in midlife to reconnecting with yourself? Here are a few guiding principles to help you navigate this journey:

The Ebb and Flow:

Recognize that there will be good and bad days. Navigate these cycles with grace, adjusting your to-do lists and emotional awareness accordingly.

Adopting a Threshold Perspective:

Embrace this in-between stage as a chance for exploration. It's okay not to have all the answers yet.

Getting Quiet:

Create space for self-reflection through practices like journaling, meditation, or quiet walks. Listen to what you really think and feel to gain clarity.

Midlife can be both challenging and rewarding, but you are not alone. There are more resources available than ever to support you through this stage. From books and podcasts to organizations and apps, you can find the tools you need in ways our mothers never could.

Step into Your New Chapter

Inspired by our personal experiences, we've designed a range of 1:1 midlife coaching sessions to provide you with the support and tools you need to navigate midlife positively. We'll explore why you feel the way you do, address anxiety and self-doubt, and help you recognize how your values and goals are evolving.

We'll delve into well-being practices that can make you feel better, one step at a time. Midlife may sometimes feel like a confusing and disorienting rethinking of everything, but it doesn't have to be navigated alone.

Here are some of the benefits you'll experience:

• Personalized Guidance: Tailored strategies that align with your values and goals.

• Emotional Support: Navigate the emotional ups and downs of midlife with confidence.

• New Perspectives: Discover new possibilities and reignite your passions.

• Improved Well-being: Learn well-being practices that enhance your overall quality of life.

If you're ready to explore what's next and reconnect with yourself, come and talk to us. Our expert midlife coaches are here to support you through these middling moments, helping you rediscover the magic and potential of midlife.

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Midlife is a time of change—let’s make it a time of possibility. Sign up for our mailing list to receive insights, tools, and guidance to help you navigate midlife with more clarity, confidence, and ease. Because this chapter is yours to shape. Join us here

Rediscovering connection through Taylor Swift's Eras Tour

Ever found yourself caught in the whirlwind of Taylor Swift's universe, endlessly scouring for concert updates, dissecting lyrics, and soaking in every moment of her performances?

If you're seeking ways to connect more deeply with yourself and others, you're not alone in turning to Swift. Let's delve into how the pop superstar’s music has become more than just entertainment; it’s now our collective way to both self-discovery and meaningful connection.

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The power of collective effervescence and emotional connection

In his studies on awe, psychologist Dacher Keltner explores the concept of 'collective effervescence,' where shared experiences create a sense of unity and awe. Taylor Swift's music acts as a catalyst for this phenomenon, bringing people together from all walks of life.

In a world plagued by loneliness, her concerts become sanctuaries of togetherness, where we find solace in shared emotions and experiences. For those seeking an emotional connection, Swift's music offers a powerful way to bridge the gaps between our fragmented lives.

Embracing emotional freedom through music

Swift's songs serve as emotional landscapes, inviting us to feel deeply and authentically. In a society that often encourages emotional suppression, her music gives us permission to embrace our vulnerabilities, to cry, to laugh, to rage, and to love without restraint.

Through her narratives, we confront our own emotional narratives, challenging beliefs that hinder our connection with ourselves and others.

For anyone looking to connect more with their feelings, Taylor Swift's music provides a safe space to explore and express emotions.

Writing our own stories and building connections

As we immerse ourselves in Taylor Swift's music, we not only find connection but also inspiration to rewrite our own stories. Her openness about the messy, imperfect parts of life reminds us that it's okay to not have it all figured out.

We're encouraged to embrace the complexities of our existence, to acknowledge our struggles, and to find beauty in our imperfections.

For those wanting to connect more with who they believe themselves to be and how they are really living their lives, Swift's music is a guide for how to do this with courage and vulnerability (the two often go together).

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Embracing our own eras

As the Eras tour unfolds, it's more than just a musical spectacle; it's a phenomenon centered on being seen and feeling connected.

Through Taylor Swift's music, we find camaraderie, emotional release, and a renewed sense of self.

So, let's lean into the melodies, the lyrics, and the shared experiences, knowing that in each chord and verse, we find echoes of our own stories, our own struggles, and our own triumphs.

For anyone looking to connect more with themselves and others, Taylor Swift's music offers a heartfelt path forward.

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Ready to deepen your connection with yourself and others? Subscribe to our newsletter for more insights on emotional wellness and join our community of like-minded individuals on this ever-meandering journey of self-discovery.

Plus, get exclusive updates on how music and other forms of art can enrich your life (see our Culture Therapy series for more).

Click here to subscribe now and start connecting with yourself, each other, and the world around you in new and creative ways.

How journaling can positively impact your well-being

I recently attended a Writing Workshop for Well-being at The Write Place in Frome led by Christina Sanders, an educator, poet, and fiction writer. During a Saturday morning session, both seasoned writers and complete beginners explored how the simple act of putting words on a page can help us connect with the wonder of life, slow down, deepen our awareness, and unleash our imagination.

James Pennebaker, a social psychologist, was one of the first to highlight the emotional benefits of expressing our thoughts and feelings through writing. His studies, along with those of others, have demonstrated that expressive writing can help us feel less isolated, identify our emotions, and connect with our needs. Moreover, it can assist in processing trauma and alleviating depression.

Writing is a powerful, generative practice. It helps us make sense of our thoughts and feelings, allowing us to write to understand, to get unstuck, and to be curious. Writing encourages us to pay attention to what’s happening inside us as well as in the world around us. And importantly, it can be a source of fun, enabling us to play with our imaginations and give our minds the freedom to roam—even into silliness!

One of the most remarkable insights from the workshop was how quickly writing could create a positive shift. Although the workshop lasted three hours, the actual exercises were just 5 to 10 minutes long. Even these brief exercises were enough to bring about a sense of well-being.

Below, I’ve included five short exercises adapted from Christina’s prompts. These combine freewriting—where you keep writing without stopping, letting whatever comes up flow onto the page—with journaling exercises.

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Five Short Writing Exercises for Well-being

Five-Minute Freewrite:

• Set a timer for five minutes

• Start writing and don’t stop until the timer goes off.

• Write whatever comes to mind without worrying about grammar or structure. Just let your thoughts flow.

Write a dialogue:

Take as your subjects the different parts of yourself (e.g., your anxious self and your calm self). This can help you explore inner conflicts and find resolutions. This can also support you in better understanding your inner dynamics and find balanced solutions.

• Identify two aspects of yourself that are in conflict.

• Write a conversation between these parts, allowing each to express its perspective.

Gratitude Journaling:

•  Spend five minutes writing about things you are grateful for.

• Focus on the details and how these things make you feel.

Imaginary Journey:

• Imagine a place where you feel completely at peace.

• Spend ten minutes describing this place in as much detail as possible.

• Allow your imagination to take over and enjoy the process of creating your peaceful haven.

Visual Prompts:

Using images as prompts can stimulate creativity and emotional expression. This exercise can help you explore emotions and uncover hidden thoughts.

• Find a photograph or piece of artwork that resonates with you.

• Spend 10-15 minutes writing about what you see, how it makes you feel, and any memories or thoughts it evokes.

Try these exercises and see how writing can enhance your well-being. Remember, the key is not to self-edit as you go along. No one else needs to read what you write—not even you. The goal is simply to get your thoughts and feelings down on the page, no matter how messy or meandering they may seem.

Try to write regularly, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.

You might be surprised by what emerges from your scribbles. Give it a try, and you’ll see the benefits for yourself.

Happy writing!

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The best self-help books for when you're feeling lost

Self-help books written by men currently dominate the bestseller lists — such as those by James Clear and Eckhart Tolle —although women have traditionally been the primary consumers of these titles. However, female authors have started to gain popularity and draw widespread readership.

We’ve selected our favourite self-help books by female authors that we turn to when we’re lost. These five non-fiction books are our go-to’s when we need more practical support for our mental health and emotional wellbeing.

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A self-help book to connect with self-acceptance | Already Enough by Lisa Olivera

We’ve been thinking a lot about self-acceptance over the past month: how we feel forced to mold and shape ourselves into something else just to be, and the one book we’ve been turning to as an antidote to that perspective is this one. Lisa Olivera’s Already Enough: A Path to Self-Acceptance.

In this book you’re gently encouraged to write a whole new story — and with that invite in a new set of beliefs and possibilities — so that ultimately you can believe in and access your “inherent enoughness.”

Staying in her work as a therapist, Olivera gives us a space to reflect on what our story is: such as needing to be perfect to feel worthy, having to stay small because our needs don’t matter or not showing up because we don’t belong.

This book feels like having a session with Olivera, as she takes us through practices, questions, and tools to reframe our stories and then courageously integrate new ones. This book is for anyone, who feels less than accepted, who is striving, striving, striving, and wonders what’s beneath that.

““Our stories weave themselves into every aspect of our lives. They shape our reactions and our choices. They influence how we treat ourselves and how we relate to other people. Our stories are guiding forces in our experience of being human.””

— Lisa Olivera

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A self-help book for when you’re burned out on self-help | Real self-care by Dr Pooja Lakshmin

This is the book we’d been seeking as an antidote to the pressure to do more and more and more. It’s almost an anti-self-help book in that it both challenges some of the assumptions of the ever-improving industry and offers a different, almost unmarketable, set of ideas for how to be.

Dr Lakshmin emphasizes genuine self-awareness over quick fixes, advocating for practices that nurture holistic well-being rather than fleeting indulgences. In this book, burnout becomes a form of cultural betrayal, as we turn to one of three coping mechanisms from the self-help industry: escape, achievement, or optimization.

For Dr. Lakshmin Real Self-Care is self-driven and founded on four key principles:

1. Setting boundaries around your needs and desires

2. Treating yourself with compassion which might mean changing how you talk to yourself

3. Moving closer to yourself by connecting with what matters most to you

4. Making yourself bigger (rather than smaller) and supporting other women as you do so

Read this if you’re tired of quick fixes or you even experiencing fatigue around the latest wellness trend.

““Wellness dogma says that a fix for your troubles is as simple as buying a new day planner or signing up for a meditation class. And according to this philosophy, when you don’t find time for these “solutions”, it’s your fault for not keeping up with one more task on your to-do list.””

— Dr Pooja Lakshmin

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A self-help book for when you feel stuck | Un(Stuck) by Dr Sophie Mort

Dr Sophie Mort’s (Un)Stuck is the perfect book if you’ve ever committed to a habit that didn’t stick, found that you’re stuck in one that you can’t break, or you find yourself getting in your own way.

A clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Neuroscience and the bestselling author of A Manual for Being Human who has become somewhat renowned for taking therapy to Instagram, Dr Soph as she’s known has written an accessible, practical and hopefully impactful self-help book on what to do when we (inevitably) get stuck. So if you’re curious to know what might be getting in the way of anything you want to do (but can’t) read this.

In this book, Dr Soph covers five areas that “people rarely fully understand that get in the way of us being able to take charge of our lives and stop going in circles.” 

1. Heuristics: understanding what these are and how they might be holding you back

2. Self-sabotage: what it really is (self-rescuing?) and what to do with it when this happens

3. Games: knowing that you might be playing these, often unconsciously (any rescuers out there?)

4. History: understanding generational patterns and the scripts that we inherit, and unknowingly live by

When you’re feeling stuck in life, this book can help you get out of your own (often unconscious) way.

““More than 40 percent of our actions are behaviours we engage in without conscious thought.” ”

— Dr Sophie Mort

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A self-help book to build self-awareness | Why Had Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr Julie Smith

Dr Julie Smith’s bestselling book is a toolkit – it’s filled with the lessons we could learn through years of therapy, but that should be available to all of us before we even sit on that couch. Like what’s the baseline for our emotional and mental wellbeing? What are the foundational approaches to better navigate our everyday lives? How can we build a practice when we’re feeling good that serves us when we’re feeling bad?

Drawing from her extensive experience as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Smith distills complex psychological concepts into accessible and actionable advice. The book is structured around key themes such as managing anxiety, battling depression, building self-confidence, and fostering resilience.

Dr. Smith's approach is refreshingly straightforward, offering tools and techniques that can be immediately applied to daily life. She emphasizes the importance of understanding and managing one's emotions, highlighting that mental health is a continuous journey rather than a destination. Through relatable anecdotes, insightful tips, and engaging exercises, we can learn how to cultivate a healthier mindset and develop coping mechanisms for stress and adversity.

One of the standout aspects of the book is its focus on self-compassion and the power of small, consistent changes. Dr. Smith encourages us to be kind to ourselves and to recognize our progress, no matter how incremental.

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? is an empowering resource that demystifies mental health and provides a toolkit for building a more resilient and fulfilling life. This is a book to live through and by, which is why it’s one of the most popular self-help books at the moment.

““you have to get to work being your own coach instead of your own worst critic””

— Dr Julie Smith

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A self-help book for when you need a pep talk | Life Skills for a Broken World by Dr Ahona Guha

In the Preface to this book Dr Guha suggests two ways to use it. The first is to read it from start to finish. The second is to dip into it if you’re not feeling great. We’ve done both.

Life Skills by Dr. Ahona Guha is the guide to life that we all need right now as we navigate the complexities of modern life.

As a clinical and forensic psychologist, Dr. Guha leverages her extensive expertise to present a practical manual that covers a wide array of life skills crucial for personal and professional success. The book is structured to address various aspects of well-being, including emotional intelligence, effective communication, stress management, and decision-making.

Dr. Guha's writing is both engaging and informative, breaking down intricate psychological concepts into relatable and actionable advice. Each chapter is dedicated to a specific skill, providing readers with clear, step-by-step instructions on how to develop and hone these abilities. Through real-life examples, interactive exercises, and reflective questions, the book encourages readers to actively apply what they learn to their own lives.

A notable feature of Life Skills is its holistic approach, emphasizing the interconnectedness of different skills and how they collectively contribute to a balanced and fulfilling life. Dr. Guha advocates for continuous learning and resilience, offering insights that are both practical and inspirational.

Life Skills is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to enhance their capabilities and lead a more effective and enriched life.

“This is a book of understanding, of action, of realism, of anti-hustle, and some tolerable discomfort — not a pastel book of self-care, bubble baths, motivational quotes, and polite platitudes.”

— Dr Ahona Guha

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These are our favorite self-help books by female authors that offer us guidance as we navigate our lost moments. They speak to the pressures of being a woman in the world today and all we’re now supposed to strive for. Together they offer a much-needed antidote to the idea of doing more to be more by female authors who get it too.

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For more ways to navigate life, join our mailing list. Like little doses of (real) self-care in an email.

How to design a life that nurtures your well-being

You've probably tried setting relentless self-improvement goals.

Often, these goals set us up for disappointment because they're based on societal expectations, rather than our true selves.

So how can you design a life that actually supports and nurtures you?

That’s a question we consider all the time as we’re bombarded with expectations about what life should be.

We’ve found that creating a life that emphasizes self-acceptance, emotional awareness, curiosity, and creativity helps us not only face personal but also global uncertainties.

Here's how you can start building a life that truly supports you.

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How to shift focus to creating a supportive environment

Begin by acknowledging your current state and the resources available to you. Instead of relentlessly pursuing self-improvement, ask yourself how you can create an environment and lifestyle that supports you as you are. This shift in focus encourages acceptance, fostering daily practices that fit within your life.

How to navigate uncertainty with curiosity

In our uncertain world, it's crucial to develop curiosity and flexibility. Focus on where you find stability internally when external conditions are volatile. Prioritize a version of self-care that helps you adapt without imposing the broken pieces of the world onto you.

How to manage unwanted emotions

Recognize that encountering feelings like fear, shame, guilt, or anxiety is normal when navigating life's complexities. Equip yourself with strategies to acknowledge, understand, and manage these emotions. This involves not letting them dictate your actions or self-worth, but rather, learning how to coexist with them as you move forward in life.

By adopting these practices, you can begin to design a life that not only supports you but also inspires others to do the same. Embracing acceptance, curiosity, and creativity in the face of uncertainties allows us to build a life centered around more of what we need and access better well-being.

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Are you ready to design a life that truly supports you?

We’ve created our self-guided, online course, Find Your Way, to help people like you learn how to navigate life's uncertainties so you can feel better on your terms.

You might have tried endless self-improvement regimes. Often, these fail because they focus on changing who we are, rather than accepting and working with what we've got.

With this on-demand course you’ll get to design a life that helps you feel better and nurtures your well-being.

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Here’s a 5-minute glimpse into Find Your Way:

Benefits of this course:

1. Learn to navigate life with curiosity, understanding how exploring can open the way for more possibility.

2. Gain strategies to manage unwanted emotions, turning them from obstacles into opportunities for greater self-awareness.

3. Discover the power of creating a life that meets your needs, while fostering a sense of connection with others.

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When we start designing a life that truly supports us with the resources and capabilities we currently possess, our focus can shift away from constant self-improvement towards creating an environment and lifestyle that nurtures our well-being.

Enroll today to begin exploring life, and your well-being, in a whole new way.

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From self-doubt to self-belief: Strategies to overcome Imposter Syndrome

Ever felt like a fraud, even when in reality you’ve got this? Hands up if you’ve ever experienced Imposter Syndrome!

At the recent Bath Festival, Dr. Jessamy Hibberd, the brilliant mind behind The Imposter Cure, asked a packed room if they’d ever felt this way. Spoiler alert: nearly everyone raised their hands! Turns out, about 70% of people have experienced Imposter Syndrome at some point. You're definitely not alone!

A Quick History Lesson on Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome was first identified by researchers in 1978 when they discovered that many high-achieving women, including those in academia, felt like frauds even though they were more than qualified. These women were fearful of being found out and believed that their success and accomplishments were based on external factors like luck or other people’s mistakes, rather than their abilities. The study concluded that Imposter Syndrome was widespread among high-achieving women and this led to wider recognition of the term. The concept would be expanded to apply to men — 50% of whom feel it too — as well as people from different backgrounds and professions.

So, What Is Imposter Syndrome?

In short, it’s the sneaky belief that we’re not worthy of our achievements. Even when we’re outwardly successful, we think we’re not good enough. Dr. Hibberd calls these “faulty beliefs.” Many of us are busy doubting ourselves. When we approach life from a place of anxiety — from fearing we’ll get found out — that can make it impossible to give ourselves the space to learn, grow, and experiment. Sound familiar?

We also think everyone else has it all together. We see others’ shiny success stories and hold ourselves to impossible standards, trying to be the best version of ourselves. It’s exhausting!

Meet the 5 Imposter Types—Which One Are You?

1. The Perfectionist: Believes there’s a right and wrong way to do everything.

2. The Soloist: Is hesitant to ask for help.

3. The Natural Genius: Thinks they need to get it right on the first try.

4. The Expert: Feels they need to know everything before starting.

5. The Superwoman/man: Strives to be perfect in all areas.

These can lead us down two not-so-fun paths: Avoidance (hello, procrastination!) and Overwork (burnout, anyone?). Which one’s your go-to?

Finding Your Grounding in Self-Belief

Dr. Hibberd suggests some impactful strategies to combat Imposter Syndrome:

• Self-Compassion: Swap self-criticism for self-awareness. Talk to yourself like you would to a friend.

• Challenge Your Beliefs: Keep a record of your daily successes and strengths. This helps shift how you see yourself.

• Be Aware of Biases: We all have a 'negativity bias' (always on the lookout for threats) and a 'confirmation bias' (seeking proof of what we believe).

The Antidote in The Imposter Cure

In her book, Dr. Hibberd delves deep into practical, science-backed strategies to help you reframe your thoughts and silence your inner critic. Here are some gems from the book:

• Visualization Techniques: Picture your success and visualize overcoming challenges.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Exercises: Change negative thought patterns with simple yet effective CBT practices.

• Daily Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to reinforce your worth and capabilities.

Sharing Is Caring

Sitting with a group of fellow doubters at the Guildhall, I realized the magic of saying, “That’s me too.” It’s a reminder that we’re not alone. We’re all in this together, and we’re all more ‘normal’ than we think. Let’s take a deep breath and let go of that weight because many of us are exhausted from carrying it around with us.

Ready to Move Beyond Imposter Syndrome?

Check out Dr. Hibberd’s The Imposter Cure. Or, let’s have a chat. Book a free 20-minute call to see how a 1:1 coaching session with one of our Certified Coaches can help you navigate and conquer Imposter Syndrome.

Well-being Series: 6 Well-being Practices to Boost Your Mood

Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes things just happen that put us in a bad mood. Other times we make decisions that get us down. And still other times we feel bad for no obvious reason. All we know is that we want to feel better...but we're just not sure how.

Luckily, psychological research has shown us some ways we can boost our mood. Here are several to check out. If any resonate with you see if you can fold them into your plan for better mental and emotional well-being.

1. Practice gratitude

​One of the best ways to start feeling better is to practice gratitude. You can write a gratitude journal or a gratitude list. These activities can result in a quick and fast boost of positivity.

2. Cultivate self-compassion

Self-compassion can often help us feel better about ourselves. We're not as judgmental of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and we treat ourselves better. You can boost self-compassion by writing yourself a self-compassionate letter that reminds you of all the good things about you and by talking to yourself like you would a friend, kindly.

3. Boost self-confidence

When we are confident, we are more likely to take the necessary actions we need to take to improve our lives. As a result, it can be easier to be in a better mood. We may be able to boost self-confidence by reminding ourselves of our strengths and positive qualities. So go ahead and think about your strengths. It doesn’t have to be anything big—maybe you’re a good cook, good at playing video games, or have a good imagination.

4. Write yourself a 'feel better soon' letter

Research shows that looking at our current situation from another point in time can decrease our current negative emotions and make us feel better (Bruehlman-Senecal & Ayduk, 2015). So if you've experienced a breakup or other difficult event that has put you in a bad mood, it may be helpful to write a letter to yourself from some time in the future. Tell yourself to "feel better soon" and talk about all the great stuff your future self is doing once this challenging time has passed.

5. Try to notice the positive things

Numerous studies show that training our attention away from the negative and onto the positive improves our well-being (MacLeod, et al., 2002; Wadlinger & Isaacowitz, 2008). For example, if we lose a job, we might say to ourselves: "I am so happy to have my family and friends".

6. Look at positive images

All the science is great for helping us learn strategies to feel better. But sometimes we just want to look at funny or cute things. (There's actually science that suggests positive images do boost our mood.) Sometimes, when we’re feeling down, it can be helpful to let our brains rest, look at cute otter videos online, and just let our mood improve that way.

If you're in a bad mood these are some of the things you can do to feel better. Try one of the suggestions presented here. Just be sure to be gentle with yourself, take your time, and do it your way.

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If you’re curious to discover more daily practices for better emotional and mental well-being, subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll share our favorite ways to feel better and take you from lost to found.

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References

●      Bruehlman-Senecal, E., and O. Ayduk. 2015. “This Too Shall Pass: Temporal Distance and the Regulation of Emotional Distress." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 108 (2): 356.

●      MacLeod, C., Rutherford, E., Campbell, L., Ebsworthy, G., & Holker, L. (2002). Selective attention and emotional vulnerability: assessing the causal basis of their association through the experimental manipulation of attentional bias. Journal of abnormal psychology, 111(1), 107.

●      Wadlinger, H. A., & Isaacowitz, D. M. (2008). Looking happy: The experimental manipulation of a positive visual attention bias. Emotion, 8(1), 121.

Well-being Series: How to set long term well-being goals

One of the questions we hear the most when working with people on their mental and emotional well-being plans is this: but where do I start?

A great place to begin is by asking yourself what you even want well-being to do or be for you. What are the goals you have around well-being? Is it for more energy or more rest, more connection or more space, more excitement or more calm?

We each arrive with very different needs for our mental health and emotional well-being plans and we’ll need to set very different goals to meet them.

So here we’ll look at what goals are and how to set them to your well-being needs so that you can feel better in your everyday life.

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What are goals?

Goals, broadly speaking, are defined as the desired states that we seek to obtain, maintain, or avoid (Nair, 2003). Long-term goals can be defined as a set of goals that need a longer period to achieve. For example, they could be goals related to our education, career, relationships, fitness, etc. Long-term goals require planning and sustained effort, so they can be a bit trickier to achieve than shorter-term goals.

Here are some tips to get you started.

How to reach long-term well-being goals

1. Set specific and challenging well-being goals.

It turns out that we achieve more by setting specific goals that are a little bit bigger or challenging, but not too challenging. If we set easy goals, we often don't achieve as much as we could because we don't push ourselves quite as hard.

2. Set meaningful well-being goals.

Reaching goals that you care about is easier than reaching goals you don't care about. So it's helpful to get clear on what you do care about from the start, and what is significant about making a plan for your mental and emotional health in your life right now.

3. Set realistic well-being goals.

It can be tricky to know just how much you can achieve. In fact, if you don't believe in yourself, you might set your goals too low and miss out on doing some great things. If you believe in your ability to manifest something, you are more likely to persist until you do. So take some time to dream big and then put on your reality cap to reflect on what is possible. 

4. Commit to your well-being goals.

Humans don't like to disappoint themselves or others. So when we commit to something, we're actually more likely to do it, especially if we share the commitment with other people in our lives.

5. Create a feedback cycle.

Feedback can be helpful so that you know how well you are doing (Latham, & Locke, 2007). Even if you don't have someone to provide feedback for you, you can still put systems in place to give yourself feedback. In other words, you could track your progress on how you're moving towards your well-being goals. That way, you'll know how you're doing.

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Align long-term well-being goals with core needs

Researchers suggest that we are more motivated to fulfill core needs like autonomy, relatedness, and competence (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999). So when setting long-term goals, try to identify how each goal relates to a core need.

For example, 'starting your creative practice' might relate to autonomy because you are free to work on what you want. 'Nurturing friendships' might connect to relatedness. And 'learning something new' might relate to competence.

By identifying how your well-being goals relate to your needs, you'll have a better sense that what you're striving for will actually make you feel good once you get there.

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Phases of long-term well-being goal pursuit

A process for achieving our long-term goals can look like this:

●     Initiation.

Getting started on the goal.

●     Maintenance.

Continuing to work on the goal and execute actions that lead to achieving the goal.

●     Persistence.

Overcoming challenges, setbacks, and emotional issues like exhaustion, boredom, or dissatisfaction.

●     Revision.

Periodic review of the goal to track progress, revise plans, and reevaluate the goal as a whole (Sniehotta, Schwarzer, Scholz, & Schüz, 2005). 

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Sticking to your well-being goals

The thing about long-term goals is that they are ... well ... long. That means they require dedication, determination, and persistence. They require overcoming both tangible obstacles and emotional obstacles. So, some have suggested that in addition to creating an action plan (a plan for what you will do), it can be helpful to have a coping plan (Sniehotta, Schwarzer, Scholz, & Schüz, 2005).

Here are some tips for how to do that:

1. Clarify possible challenges

Anticipating the situations that will slow or stall your progress toward the goal can help you develop a plan for how to respond effectively. Then, creating "if-then" statements for each potential obstacle can help you more easily overcome it.

For example, if I'm exhausted and just need a nap during the time I have set aside for my well-being goal, it's OK because then I have a backup time set up that I only use when I need it.

2. Think about how to overcome distraction

Perhaps the most common obstacle is distraction. Maybe some parts of our long-term well-being goal are boring or hard. Or, there are just a lot of distractions in our lives. That's why putting a plan in place to minimize distractions can be helpful.

For example, we can download an app to pause our emails, log ourselves out of social media, or put a time limit on our internet time. Or, maybe we benefit from headphones to drown out noise. Or maybe we just need a few snacks nearby so we don't have to keep running out to get something.

Think about what distracts you and how you might overcome these things.

​3. Know your challenges

Take some time to think about what's stopped you from reaching past well-being goals. Write these down and then brainstorm what you'll do. Try to be specific (say more than "I'll figure it out!").

For example, if low self-confidence often keeps you from reaching your well-being goals, maybe you use some self-compassion exercises when you find you're getting down on yourself.

By having specific plans in place to cope with your unique difficulties, you can increase your chances of success.

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Take the next step to better mental and emotional well-being

Arrange a free consultation with our resident well-being coach

What well-being goals do you have and how can you achieve them? If you need more help exploring your well-being goals, book a free consultation with our well-being coach.

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References

●      Nair, K. S. (2003). Life goals: the concept and its relevance to rehabilitation. Clinical Rehabilitation, 17(2), 192-202.​

●      Latham, G. P., & Locke, E. A. (2007). New developments in and directions for goal-setting research. European Psychologist, 12(4), 290-300.

●      Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: the self-concordance model. Journal of personality and social psychology, 76(3), 482.

●      Sniehotta, F. F., Schwarzer, R., Scholz, U., & Schüz, B. (2005). Action planning and coping planning for long‐term lifestyle change: theory and assessment. European Journal of Social Psychology, 35(4), 565-576.

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Well-being Series: What to do about all the pressure to be happy

Right now, you might be feeling the pressure to be happy all the time. And if you’re not quite there, you may feel like you're in constant pursuit of happiness. You might even feel like you’re failing at happiness.

Our relationship with happiness has become something entangled with ideas of toxic positivity. So let’s find out what distinguishes good positivity from bad positivity, as well as how to reset our relationship with the very idea of happiness.

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What is toxic positivity?

Positivity involves things like gratitude, optimism, and positive reappraisal and you may have heard that positivity is good for well-being.

On the flip side, maybe you’ve felt annoyed, angry, or uncomfortable when positivity was forced on you. Indeed, positivity can be good for well-being...as long as we’re not using it to avoid or suppress negative emotions. Then, it can become toxic.

Toxic positivity is defined as the act of rejecting or denying stress, negativity, or other negative experiences that exist (Sokal, Trudel, & Babb, 2020).

It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish positivity from toxic positivity.

For example, if someone tells us, “Hey, look at the bright side,” we might feel like they are diminishing or denying our negative feelings. Because negative emotions are tools we use to get important needs met, we don’t just want to be shoving them away without acknowledgment.

So, seemingly positive advice from friends can often feel like toxic positivity to the person receiving it.

Here are a few more examples of toxic positivity:

●      I say: “I’m having a bad day.” Toxic response: “But you have so much to be grateful for.”

●      I say “I don’t know if I can have a relationship with my sister. She doesn’t treat me with decency and respect.” Toxic response: “She’s family. You should love her no matter what.”

●      I say: “This job sucks.” Toxic response: “You’re lucky you even have a job.”

In these examples, someone is using positivity to get rid of our true or negative experiences.

On the other hand, say a friend tells us, “Hey, it’s okay not to be okay. ” This shows acceptance of our negative emotions as well as compassion and gratitude. This approach is not toxic because it doesn't deny our emotions and force us to feel something we don’t want to feel.

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When does positivity become toxic?

1. One study showed that looking for silver linings is only beneficial in uncontrollable contexts. For example, if we lose our job, we might benefit from thinking about our future opportunities. But if we try to use positive reappraisal in controllable situations—or situations that we could change—we might actually be worse off (Troy, Shallcross, & Mauss, 2013).

2. Some research suggests that it is inappropriate to use positivity (positive reappraisal) when our identities are being threatened. For example, when people experience racial oppression, looking for silver linings appears to actually lead to worse well-being (Perez & Soto, 2011).

3. If people encourage us to use a specific emotion regulation skill that we’re not good at, it could actually leave us worse off. And for many people, positivity can be a difficult skill to develop and implement. So if you’re not good at being positive, optimistic, or reflecting on your situation to find the silver lining, it could actually be bad for you (Ford & Troy, 2019).

4. Most people think of positive emotion as a good thing, and more is better, right? Well, it turns out that too much positive emotion may actually be a bad thing. Too much positive emotion has been shown to be a risk factor for mania (Gruber, Johnson, Oveis, & Keltner, 2008). So, too much positive emotion actually can be a bad thing.

5. Being obsessed with happiness and focusing excessively on getting happy has also been shown to be bad for well-being (Ford & Mauss, 2014). It’s thought that this may create a discrepancy between how we feel now and how we want to feel. Indeed, having ultra-high expectations for happiness tends to be bad for our mental health.

Toxic positivity can be tricky. The benefits of positivity are very real and impactful, but at the same time, it can be easy to get positivity wrong.

Hopefully, the guidance here will help you take what you can from the field of positivity psychology and our ever-returning pursuit of happiness while still being able to prevent positivity from becoming toxic.

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Take the next step to better mental and emotional well-being

Join our course ‘Find Your Way’ to create your own way to well (that includes happiness and so much more)

This online, self-guided well-being course is designed to give you the space, time, and resources to explore more of what you need. Over 12 weeks you’ll get to create your own well-being practice that draws on the latest science but is still shaped by your core values, beliefs, and needs. Discover how you can get beyond happy to feel better in your everyday life.

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References

●      Ford, B., & Mauss, I. (2014). The paradoxical effects of pursuing positive emotion. In J. Gruber & J. T. Moskowitz (Eds.),  Positive emotion: Integrating the light sides and dark sides (pp. 363–382). Oxford University Press.

●      Ford, B. Q., & Troy, A. S. (2019). Reappraisal reconsidered: A closer look at the costs of an acclaimed emotion-regulation strategy. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 28(2), 195-203.

●      Gruber, J., Johnson, S. L., Oveis, C., & Keltner, D. (2008). Risk for mania and positive emotional responding: Too much of a good thing? Emotion, 8(1), 23–33.

●      Perez, C. R., & Soto, J. A. (2011). Cognitive reappraisal in the context of oppression: Implications for psychological functioning. Emotion, 11, 675–680.

●      Sokal, L., Trudel, L. E., & Babb, J. (2020). It’s okay to be okay too. Why calling out teachers’“toxic positivity” may backfire.

●      Troy, A. S., Shallcross, A. J., & Mauss, I. B. (2013). A person-by-situation approach to emotion regulation: Cognitive reappraisal can either help or hurt, depending on the context. Psychological science, 24(12), 2505-2514.