Living Shoulders Up: Why We Lose Touch With Our Bodies (and How to Gently Return to Them)
Ever feel like your head is doing all the work of being human? Like your brain is in charge of every decision, every worry, every next step—and your body is just there, trailing behind like an overworked assistant carrying too many bags?
Many of us are now living "shoulders up" — in our heads, from dawn till dusk. We analyse, plan, overthink, and rarely drop down into the quiet, often-overlooked wisdom of our physical selves.
But something impactful happens when we do.
Why We Leave Our Bodies in the First Place
It’s not your fault if embodiment doesn’t come naturally. Many of us learned early on to prize thinking over feeling. We were rewarded for being smart, productive, efficient — not necessarily for being present, grounded or intuitive.
Modern life doesn’t help. Screens dominate our days. Sitting is the default. Emotions are often something to manage, not feel. And somewhere along the way, we began to believe that our bodies were either a project to fix — or something to ignore.
The Costs of Living From the Neck Up
Living disconnected from our bodies might feel normal, but it comes with hidden costs.
We miss early signals of stress or burnout until they become full-blown exhaustion. We override our hunger or sleep cues. We lose access to the small joys of being alive — the stretch of a shoulder, the warmth of a cup in our hands, the grounding feel of feet on earth.
More subtly, when we live only in our heads, we lose touch with something essential: ourselves.
What It Means to Return to the Body
Coming back into the body doesn’t have to mean hour-long yoga classes or a new fitness routine (though it might include those if you love them).
It can start with something much smaller:
A few deep breaths with your hand on your belly
A walk where your goal is to feel your feet, not track your steps
Stretching like a cat before you get out of bed
Noticing what foods make you feel clear vs. cloudy
Asking yourself, “What does my body need right now?” — and pausing long enough to listen
The key is to feel without needing to fix. To notice without judgment. To be curious about what your body is telling you, without rushing to control it.
Why This Matters for Your Mental Health
The mind-body connection isn’t just poetic — it’s profoundly biological. Research now shows:
Movement improves mood by stimulating neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine
Gut health impacts emotional resilience through the gut-brain axis
Breathwork regulates the nervous system, reducing symptoms of anxiety and overwhelm
When we tend to our bodies, we tend to our minds. It’s a two-way street, and walking it with care opens up emotional clarity, steadiness, and even joy.
You Don’t Need to Be Good at This
One of the biggest myths in wellness is that embodiment has to look a certain way.
You don’t need to meditate every morning. You don’t need to go to Bali. You definitely don’t need to like kale.
You just need to start noticing. And from there, you can start choosing. Choosing what helps. What softens. What steadies. What lets you come back to yourself.
An Invitation to Begin
This week, try one small thing:
Lie down and put your hand on your chest. Feel your breath.
Wiggle your toes when you’re on a Zoom call.
Step outside, close your eyes, and feel the air on your skin.
Tiny practices. Huge shifts.
You don’t need to overhaul your life. You just need to arrive in it — one breath, one step, one body-listening moment at a time.
What’s one way you’ve gently returned to your body lately?
Let us know or forward this to a friend who needs the reminder that coming back to yourself doesn’t have to be hard. Just human.
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