Why Good Coaching Starts with Space — and the Thinking That Happens There
In this wellbeing podcast conversation, educational psychologist and coach Sarah Philp explores the link between thinking, action, and the spaces that make transformation possible. Perfect for anyone curious about coaching or feeling lost, burned out, or disconnected from themselves.
What if you can’t rush a thought into something useful.
That’s one of the learnings that emerged in my recent short-form podcast conversation with Sarah Philp, an educational psychologist and coach who’s built her work on the belief that:
“The quality of everything human beings do depends on the quality of the thinking that we do first.” — Nancy Klein
It sounds simple. But think about your week so far — how often have you given yourself, or someone else, uninterrupted space to follow a thought to its end?
For many of us, the answer is almost never.
On why coaching isn’t advice — it’s space
If you’ve ever wondered what coaching really is, just know that it’s not someone telling you what to do.
Good coaching is the art of creating space — a physical, mental, and emotional container where you can think more deeply than you might on your own. It’s presence without pressure. It’s being witnessed in your thinking, without being hurried toward a solution before you’re ready.
In Sarah’s words, it’s “following the thread” of a thought. And in our busy, interrupted lives, that’s a rare thing.
Why thinking and action need each other
Coaching is often misunderstood as being only about action — setting goals, hitting targets, ticking boxes. But action without clear thinking can be reactive, scattered, even counterproductive.
On the other hand, thinking without movement can keep us stuck in loops of over-analysis.
The power is in the relationship between the two. The right kind of thinking — spacious, supported, fully explored — naturally leads to clearer, more aligned action. And action, in turn, gives thinking something to respond to.
The role of space in wellbeing
Space isn’t just about coaching sessions. It’s also about the environments and practices that help you reset — whether that’s a walk in nature, a few minutes of stillness before starting your day, or, in Sarah’s case, cold water swimming and time on the Isle of Skye.
These moments aren’t indulgences; they’re essential to wellbeing. They give you a vantage point outside the noise, where you can reconnect to yourself and what matters most.
If you’re feeling lost, burned out, or disconnected
You don’t have to fix everything at once. Sometimes, the first step is simply to create a little more space — in your day, in your conversations, in your head.
That’s where coaching can help. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about having the time, attention, and support to find the ones that fit you.
If that sounds like something you need, we think you’ll love this latest episode of A Thought I Kept. It’s thoughtful and full of insights that might just shift the way you think — and act.
Listen now to on Substack, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
Finding Your Way Back: How Your Values Can Guide You in Uncertain Times
Feeling lost or overwhelmed? Your personal values can guide you back. Discover how values provide clarity, stability, and connection during uncertain times—and simple ways to align your daily life with what truly matters.
There’s a moment, in the middle of the mess, where everything feels like too much. Life shifts unexpectedly—work changes, relationships evolve, priorities get rearranged—and suddenly, you feel unmoored. The things that once made sense don’t anymore, and the question rises: Where do I go from here?
When everything feels chaotic, it’s tempting to grasp for quick fixes. More lists. More productivity hacks. More distractions. But what if the answer isn’t found in doing more—but in coming back to what’s already inside you?
That’s where your values come in. Not as abstract concepts, but as a compass that can help you find clarity, stability, and connection—even in the most challenging times.
1. Values Provide Direction When You Feel Lost
When you’re standing at a crossroads, uncertain about which way to go, your values act as an internal GPS. They remind you of what truly matters—not what society says should matter, not what the world expects of you, but what’s meaningful to you.
If you feel disconnected or overwhelmed, ask yourself:
Which decision aligns with my values?
What would I choose if I weren’t afraid of disappointing others?
How do I want to feel at the end of this?
Values create clarity. They help you cut through the noise and make choices that feel true to who you are.
Try This: Next time you're struggling with a decision, write down your top three values and weigh each option against them. Which choice best aligns with them? That’s your answer.
Not sure what your values are? Read on to find out.
2. Values Keep You Grounded When Life Feels Uncertain
We live in a world that is constantly shifting, and uncertainty can feel exhausting. But here’s the thing: circumstances change—your values don’t.
When life feels overwhelming, grounding yourself in your values can help you regain stability. If you value creativity, carve out space for small creative moments each day. If you value family, prioritize time with loved ones. If growth is important to you, focus on learning something new rather than trying to control the uncontrollable.
Try This: Identify one small action you can take daily that reflects your core values. It doesn’t have to be grand—just consistent.
3. Values Help You Build Deeper, More Authentic Connections
When you live in alignment with your values, you naturally attract people and communities that reflect them. If you’ve ever felt disconnected from those around you, it may be because you’re engaging in spaces that don’t align with what truly matters to you.
Values create belonging. They help you find people who see the world in a way that resonates with you.
Try This: If you feel isolated, seek out groups, events, or communities that center on your values. Love social impact? Join a volunteer project. Value creativity? Find a writing or art group. Want more adventure? Sign up for that outdoor retreat. Connection follows when you align your actions with what matters.
How to Discover Your Core Values
Values aren’t always something we name—they’re something we live. But if you want to understand yours more deeply, try this:
Observe Your Actions: Where do you naturally spend your time and energy? What do you prioritize, even when life is busy?
Listen to Your Stories: The moments that made you proud, the experiences that frustrated you, the things that bring you deep joy—these all reveal what you truly care about.
Ask Reflective Questions: What would you do if money weren’t an issue? What do you want to be remembered for? What feels deeply fulfilling?
Living Your Values: Small Shifts That Make a Big Impact
Start Your Day with Intention
If creativity is a value, spend 10 minutes sketching or writing. If growth is important, read a few pages of an insightful book. Start the day in alignment, even in small ways.
Use Your Values for Decision-Making
When faced with a choice, ask: Which option best aligns with my values? If learning is a core value, say yes to that workshop over another evening of mindless scrolling.
Make Daily Micro-Connections
If family is a value, send a quick text or voice note to a loved one. If community matters, reach out to someone you admire and start a conversation.
Prioritize Tasks That Reflect Your Values
Instead of tackling your to-do list at random, organize it based on your values. If you value excellence, focus on quality over quantity. If integrity is key, prioritize honest conversations and meaningful work.
End Your Day with Reflection
Each night, write down one way you lived your values. It could be something as small as choosing kindness over frustration or speaking up when something felt misaligned.
Why Coaching Can Help You Align With Your Values
Values work isn’t a one-time thing—it’s a lifelong practice. An ethical and certified coach can help you:
Discover What Truly Matters: Through guided exploration, coaching helps you uncover your values and how they show up in your life.
Turn Insight into Action: Knowing your values is one thing—living them daily is another. A coach helps you create practical strategies to integrate them into your routine.
Stay Accountable: Values shift over time, and having a coach ensures you stay connected to what’s most important as life evolves.
Your Values Are Your Guide Home
If you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or disconnected, come back to your values. They are the steady foundation beneath you, the quiet voice reminding you of who you are and what truly matters.
This isn’t about self-improvement—it’s about self-alignment. You don’t have to be more, do more, or change who you are. You just have to listen to what’s already inside you.
What values are guiding you right now?
Our 1:1 Coaching Sessions are designed to provide you with the space to reconnect with what truly matters to you.
If you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or disconnected, Your values can guide you back. Book a 90-minute Values Mapping Session to explore the core values that anchor you—helping you cut through the noise, make clearer decisions, and reconnect with what truly matters. Whether you're navigating uncertainty or simply want to feel more aligned, this session will bring clarity, stability, and direction.
Discover your inner strengths: A guide to boosting confidence and fulfillment
Find out how to incorporate more of your strengths are into your everyday life.
What are your strengths?
How do you feel about me even asking that? Do you feel comfortable talking about all that is great about who you are and how you naturally function in the world? Even having this conversation can be difficult for people. We’re told so often not to boast, not to get too big for ourselves, even that there is something uncouth about singing our own praises. Maybe answering just this question will bring something up for you.
But research shows that identifying our strengths and folding them into our lives:
helps make decisions (we can assess if the options available to us align with our strengths and where they don’t)
makes us more energized and engaged as we learn where and how we want to put our focus;
and enhances our well-being, sense of life satisfaction, and overall feelings of happiness.
So right now, let’s get the resistance piece out of the way. This is the part where we celebrate who you are because discovering your strengths will help you find your way. And that my lovely is ok.
Below are some ideas to get you started. We’ve woven through some of the research of Jolanta Burke and Jonathan Passmore on how to think about your strengths. The key here is to figure out something they call a “Strengths tilt”: “an individual’s interests and preferences, as well as the ways in which strengths are uniquely applied in each person, in order for them to live their lives in alignment with their values.”
Let’s find out how you can uniquely understand your strengths and then apply them or tilt your life in their direction.
Step 1: Play a little & take a quiz:
There are a ton of quizzes out there to help you find your strengths. Here are some that we like (if you subscribe to our newsletter we talk about some more we like there):
Authentic Happiness: we recommend PERMA, Strengths Finder & The Authentic Happiness Inventory (from Martin Seligman)
The Four Tendencies (from Gretchen Rubin)
Introvert versus Extrovert (from Adam Grant at Ted)
Step 2: Get to know yourself & ask some questions:
Take whatever you like to write with, and whatever surface or device works for you, and jot down your responses to these questions:
Explain a situation where you were in flow. What were you doing? Who were you doing it with? What were you working on?
How did you get here? What does it tell you about yourself?
What do you like to teach others?
Keep in mind something that Passmore and Burke called “Strengths Blindness”: “individuals not appreciating their strengths and viewing them as something common and ordinary, rather than something that needs to be celebrated and developed further.”
Learn how your strengths talk to each other. Passmore and Burke call this: a “Strengths Constellation”: ”the interactions of strengths with each other. For example, an individual who frequently uses the strengths of fairness and bravery would be more likely to stand up for someone who is unfairly treated than those who score highly in fairness but low in bravery”. With this in mind, reflect on these questions:
How do your strengths speak to each other?
What consistently shows up for you that maybe doesn’t with others?
And if there’s some resistance here that might be “Strengths sensitivity”: which “may occur in clients who are being criticized around their strengths or when they discuss the negative aspects of their strengths.”
How could what others think about your strengths affect how you use yours?
What have you been told to hide, that you no longer want to?
What’s your secret strength that you are ready to make space for?
Step 3: Now bring your strengths into your life & learn how to integrate them
There’s the knowing piece, and there’s the doing piece. For you to get to the place you want to go, you need more than awareness. The next part is all about movement: In what ways can you now bring in your strengths to align with who you are? Take each of your strengths — the ones you want to invite in — and brainstorm what you can commit to doing in each area of your life that you’re looking to shift. Or take a look at this list for inspiration on how to use your strengths to boost happiness.
Keep in mind that the more you increase the number of positive strengths that you use, the greater the positive impact this has. Dr. Laurie Santos in her course on The Science of Wellbeing has identified 4-7 as the sweet spot (the number that tips a job to a calling for instance).
So what’s next for you? How can your strengths help you find your way?
If you’re interested in exploring more about who you are and how you best show up in the world, explore our coaching options. From exploring your strengths to identifying your values, you’ll find ways to reconnect with yourself when life feels uncertain or you feel like you have lost your way.
Rediscover yourself: How identifying values can guide your life
Find your way to better emotional well-being by connecting with your values
““Your personal identity comes from your values.””
Values are decision-making magic. When you know what yours are, you can better navigate your life.
They are things like: Creativity. Freedom. Purpose. Kindness. Curiosity. Love.
We once heard the idea that values are something that you can't put in a wheelbarrow — like integrity, wonder and creativity — but not like money, which could be represented by words such as safety, security, status, and belonging instead.
Indicators of meaning, of what matters to you, values are powerful when we connect with them. Values point the way to how you want to live your life, what you’d like it to contain, and how you want to spend your time. Even on what and with whom.
When your values are being met you are more fulfilled and happier. But often in life when you are not achieving something that matters to you this can be because it conflicts with your values. Feelings of disconnection, emptiness, frustration, anger, or just the sense that something isn't quite right, suggest that those values you need do not yet have a place in your life.
But here’s the thing: although our values are deeply important and are threaded through our lives, often they can be maddeningly unconscious to us.
Discovering your values can be a one-off exercise (or a session with a coach like me) so that you can get to the small handful of values you want to live by (Brene Brown swears by having just 2).
So the first step is identifying them.
Something to Try
Here are a handful of words. Choose any that spark something in you:
Adventure Community Fairness Health Kindness Play
Authenticity Courage Friendship Honesty Laughter Respect
Beauty Empathy Growth Innovation Love Tranquility
What resonates? What’s missing?
Book a Values Assessment
Want to explore more? Book a 1:1 online coaching session to capture what your values might be, and learn how discovering them can help you find your way.
““Nobody has passion and perseverance unless what they do aligns with their values.” ”