The Lost Together Book Club | Atlas of the Heart
We’re welcoming in all the emotions with this month’s pick by Brene Brown. Let’s discover together what our emotions are telling us.
““I want this book to be an atlas for all of us, because I believe that with an adventurous heart and the right maps, we can travel anywhere and never fear losing ourselves. Even when we don’t know where we are.””
This is the first month of our Lost Together Book Club where we figure out how to live the books we love — not in an imaginative daydreamy way but in a what-next kind of way. (Read this kick-off post if you missed it).
This book club is for anyone who believes that the right book at the right time can change lives, but also that there are so many books at all times to change our lives in so many ways, it’s all become a bit overwhelming.
In this group, we’ll experiment with the concepts we’ve read, try to apply them to our own lives, and share what we’ve learned. What worked, and what didn’t? What did we discover? What did we let go of? What do we want to take forwards?
So, choose one book. Start reading. And I’ll see you in the Zoom meet-ups to see what you learned, and what you’re curious to try. You just need to register below.
Our Emotions Pick this month is:
Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown
This is the book that inspired my path to train as an Emotions Coach Practitioner. When Brene Brown turns her formidable attention to what it means to live a life full of all the emotions you know there’s something meaningful going on there.
This book will help you learn to recognize and name your emotions. Research is now showing that this leads to ‘greater emotional regulation and psychosocial wellbeing’. But when asked, many of us can name just 3 emotions – happy, sad, and angry.
Brene shows 87 emotions and experiences that include such things as bittersweetness, resignation, amusement, anguish, and wonder.
I added this one so we can broaden together our understanding of emotions, and what to do when we realize they are there, doing all their magical and confounding work.
To join this month’s Lost Together Book Club head to Substack.
Silent Book Club | In Conversation with Laura Gluhanich
We talked to Silent Book Club co-founder Laura Gluhanich about how a simple night of reading with a friend became a global phenomenon.
We recently discussed with co-founder Laura Gluhanich all the ways that Silent Book Club offers community and a space to unplug, both vital to our mental health and emotional wellbeing as we negotiate these uncertain times.
What compelled you to start reading together, silently?
One night out to dinner at a favorite local spot in San Francisco my friend Guinevere de la Mare and I shared our frustration with traditional book clubs, and our joy of reading at restaurant bars. The next time we met for dinner, we planned to sit at the bar and read together. We continued meeting up, and as friends heard about our “silent book club” they asked to join. Everything today comes from that.
How do you get over that initial need to chat, to make noise, to fill the silence? We’re so unaccustomed now to filling the spaces between us.
Our format includes some planned conversation at the start. Typically a silent book club meeting starts off with everyone saying hello and sharing what they are reading. It creates a shared space and connects folks over shared books or genres. I think our members appreciate that when they start reading they know they don’t have to worry about anything else at that moment. We set an alarm and wrap up the session, so they can just dive into whatever they are reading.
Book club selections can be very particular to a group or the situation of coming together to talk about one. Are there certain books that lend themselves to Silent Book Club? Like, don’t read conversation-inducing books such as anything by Glennon Doyle or Three Women?
What surprises me more is that at every in-person meet-up, I’d venture we have a minimum of five genres represented in a group of ten. It is a very welcoming group, and if someone isn’t into what you happen to be reading, it’s not taken personally. And in our Facebook group, just about everything goes, though we choose to not offer a platform to white supremacists, misogynists, and the like.
Have you ever thought of Silent Book Club as an anti-tech space?
Yes! My co-founder and I both work full time in tech, so providing a time to ignore notifications is a benefit we recognize.
Or maybe even an anti-loneliness initiative?
Yes! I love that Silent Book Club can provide community in a really low-key way. Beyond the minimal conversation, it is super low stakes, so especially if people are less extroverted it’s a great opportunity to connect. And while there are lots of book lovers in the community, particularly the Facebook group regularly gets posts from folks who are getting into reading for the first time or rediscovering their love.
You have chapters globally now. Have you noticed differences between how these book clubs meet or how they are received locally?
Not really! Shout-out to our Genoa chapter for being super photogenic and fun. There’s a ton of variety throughout our chapters but I don’t see a difference based on location.
What kind of setting is conducive to a Silent Book Club?
As you can see from that Genoa link, lots of places work to meet up and read. We recommend cafes and bars (hotel lobby bars can be chic and have the perfect level of background noise). Bookstores, ice cream shops, community centers, parks, beaches, and backyards have all been successful. We’ve even seen them at conferences — a great option for introvert attendees to chill out.
Do you have any favorite meetup anecdotes?
We’ve had a couple of chapters see people meet at their events (ready for that meet-cute to happen in a movie). We definitely hear more about books getting discovered than soulmates.
One fun thing that has happened with the virtualization of Silent Book Clubs is the ability for anyone to join any virtual meetup. Our Denver chapter has had guests from Mexico City, Guinevere has said hi to Italian chapters, and I sat in on a meetup based in South Korea. It’s a fun way to explore!
How are Silent Book Clubs adapting to the shifting situation of the pandemic?
We’ve seen dozens of chapters shift to an online format. A number have hosted outdoor meetups globally. Of course, plenty of countries have had competent pandemic leadership, so they have been able to meet far ahead of us here in the US.
Why do you think the idea of Silent Book Club has taken off so much?
I think there are two primary reasons people have responded to Silent Book Club. The first is broadly the mental wellbeing aspects that I’ve already mentioned. And in conjunction, we are all so over-productive, Silent Book Club is an antidote to that.
What is your vision for Silent Book Club going forwards?
We’d love to see its continued growth, supported by brands or organizations that share our mission of encouraging reading. We plan to continue our author series in 2021, and have an idea of a global Silent Book Club week, promoting literacy in public.
Any places out in the world or books that you seek out to support you in uncertain times?
We’re big fans of independent bookstores and libraries, and while there is broad uncertainty, we encourage folks who have the resources to support their local cultural institutions in an ongoing way. The mutual aid movement reflected in Little Free Libraries and the Community Fridge network gives me hope.
What should people do if they are curious about Silent Book Club?
Find a local chapter on our website or a virtual meetup. We welcome you whether you are looking for the time to get through a few chapters for another book club, or just for fun.
“If you are finding it hard to find space for reading, joining Silent Book Club gives you that time back. It prioritizes reading in your life again. It gives books back to you. ”
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Silent Book Club
For the introverts, a book club that doesn’t get you talking.
“Welcome to introvert happy hour.”
What is it: An opportunity to read. The twist, there are others reading with you too. You’ll be in a café, a bar, a public library; in COVID times maybe you’ll be on Zoom or outdoors. The people with you will have their own books, you’ll have yours. And though there’s a social moment built in — a hello and sharing of what you are reading — the focus is simply on you and your book. Enjoyed now in ways which we have learnt to understand, together but apart.
Why you’ll love it: This is one for the introverts among us (of which we count ourselves). Yes, book clubs are great – we’ve hosted and attended many – but sharing just the love of reading that’s something magical. The Silent Book Club started in 2012 when two friends Guinevere de la Mare (a UX writer at Google) and Laura Gluhanich (director of programs at Him for Her) began reading together in a neighborhood bar in San Francisco. Gone was the pressure of typical book clubs, having to read the same books, having smart things to say, hiding the fact that you haven’t read the book. Here was just enjoying the moment of reading together – no mobile phones, no commitments pressing in, no pressure to select the right thing to share or carry out a conversation in the right way. Just a book, a friend, and a nice location somewhere. And from this, this now Silent Book Club grew to friends and acquaintances, and grew to a handful of cities, and grew to now 285 chapters in 37 countries.
What you need to know: If books are your happy place, you can now seek out a Chapter probably wherever you are, though if there isn’t you can start one (friends there isn’t one in Bath or the Marin area where we’re both based if someone’s inclined to host…). During stay-at-home times, many of these Chapters offer virtual read-ins.
Why we think we need it to exist: We’re noticed something odd going on in our lives. Though we love books, we’re no longer reading them in quite the same way that we used to. We seek out recommendations, we subscribe to book boxes, we haul heavy bags from independent stores, we ship boxes upon boxes when we move, but the reading part is not as high up our agenda as it once was. You may be finding the same in your life. Life pressing in, doomscrolling replacing narrative and character development, anxiety blocking any possibility of retreat or escape. Time has gone, and we’re trying to find it again. For many purposes, but also so that we can return to the books that we love and the ones we might love in our future. If you are finding it hard to find space for reading, joining a Silent Book Club gives you that time back. It prioritizes reading in your life again. It gives books back to you.
It also gives you other people. As many of us spiral in our loneliness, that companionable silence actually gives us connection, it fosters relationships. As co-founder Gluhanich says, “For people who want to do something on their own but at the same time are seeking connections and a community with other people, SBC’s can offer them both of these. People all around the world are forming emotional bonds with one another while reading in silence.”
In their own words: “Silent Book Club is about community. Everyone is welcome, and anyone can join or launch a chapter. We encourage people all over the world to start their own Silent Book Clubs. All you need is a friend, a café, and a book. We have more than 240 active chapters around the world in cities of all sizes, and new chapters are being launched by volunteers every week.”
Something to do from anywhere: Wake up, doom scrolling. Before bedtime, doom scrolling. These have traditionally been times for reading books. So for a non-binding, after the New Year’s, non-resolution, ban the phone from the bedroom, buy a book light, and read books again. Paper pages. Like us, you may find your brain working just that little bit better, your life feeling slightly less heavy, and the world just that little bit bigger. You’ll be reading books again.
To find out more: Website / Instagram / Twitter / Facebook
Love this? Try also Shelf Help, or podcast Celebrity Book Club