Create your path to clarity and calm by discovering your unique way to well

Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life? Many women today are searching for ways to navigate their busy schedules with more ease and purpose. Discover how our self-guided wellbeing course can help you reclaim your well-being and move forward with confidence.

Your Journey Towards Self-Wellness

Imagine taking a moment to pause and reflect on your current state, identifying areas of your life that feel cluttered and distracting. This simple act of reflection can give you a clearer picture of where to focus your energy. This is the first step, Taking Stock, in our self-guided online course designed to help create a personalized well-being practice.

As you move through the course, you’ll learn to Embrace Change. Letting go of old habits and beliefs can be liberating, making space for new growth. You’ll begin to live more intentionally, aligning your daily actions with your core values and goals.

The concept of Frequent Resets will become your new mantra. Regular, small adjustments can keep you aligned with your aspirations and prevent you from getting stuck.

You’ll explore how to Integrate New Practices that support your well-being, such as creative pursuits and adventures in nature.

Refreshing your life in meaningful ways—whether it's reevaluating relationships or learning to have a healthier relationship with your emotions—can give you a renewed sense of energy and purpose.

Finally, by Investing in Yourself, you’ll discover the joy of dedicating time and resources to activities that enrich your life, resulting in increased happiness and fulfillment.

Create Your Own Well-Being Practice

Many women have found themselves on a similar journey, seeking ways to feel more connected and less overwhelmed. Our online self-guided course is designed to help you create a tailored well-being practice that fits seamlessly into your daily life. It’s about learning to live with intention and acceptance, making small, attainable changes that lead to a more fulfilling life.

What You’ll Learn in Our Course

1. Take Stock: Gain clarity on what needs your attention.

2. Embrace Change: Let go of what no longer serves you.

3. Live Consciously: Make mindful choices aligned with your values.

4. Reset Frequently: Keep your life dynamic and forward-moving.

5. Integrate New Practices: Support your health and happiness.

6. Refresh Your Life: Create a renewed sense of energy and purpose.

7. Invest in Yourself: Find joy and fulfillment in personal growth.

Join Our Course Today

Imagine waking up each day with a sense of clarity and calm, knowing that you’re investing in your well-being in ways that truly matter. Our course is your guide to creating a well-being practice that’s uniquely yours.

Start your journey today and discover how to navigate your life with more ease, purpose, and joy. Click here to enroll in our online self-guided wellbeing course now.

Embrace the Magic of Midlife

Are you navigating the winding roads of midlife? You're not alone; in fact, one of us is right there with you, experiencing all the highs and lows of this transformative period.

The Midlife Awakening

Whether you're fully entrenched in midlife or supporting someone who is, understanding this phase can be a game-changer. Midlife brings a whirlwind of thoughts about aging, self-image, purpose, and relationships. The what-ifs and what's-to-comes might wake you up at 3 a.m., as frequently as those nighttime sweats do. Anxiety often feels like a constant companion, alongside that trusty retinol cream.

You look in the mirror and sometimes struggle to recognize the person staring back. The meticulously built life might not align with who you are today. Your career, relationships, and daily routines may no longer spark the joy they once did, leaving you wondering what's next.

Midlife challenges us to reassess our identities, paths, and future aspirations. Yet, within these challenges lie opportunities for rediscovery and new possibilities. It's a chance to get curious about life again, even amidst the brain fog and hot flushes.

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From Lost to Found

So, how do you transition from feeling lost in midlife to reconnecting with yourself? Here are a few guiding principles to help you navigate this journey:

The Ebb and Flow:

Recognize that there will be good and bad days. Navigate these cycles with grace, adjusting your to-do lists and emotional awareness accordingly.

Adopting a Threshold Perspective:

Embrace this in-between stage as a chance for exploration. It's okay not to have all the answers yet.

Getting Quiet:

Create space for self-reflection through practices like journaling, meditation, or quiet walks. Listen to what you really think and feel to gain clarity.

Midlife can be both challenging and rewarding, but you are not alone. There are more resources available than ever to support you through this stage. From books and podcasts to organizations and apps, you can find the tools you need in ways our mothers never could.

Step into Your New Chapter

Inspired by our personal experiences, we've designed a range of 1:1 midlife coaching sessions to provide you with the support and tools you need to navigate midlife positively. We'll explore why you feel the way you do, address anxiety and self-doubt, and help you recognize how your values and goals are evolving.

We'll delve into well-being practices that can make you feel better, one step at a time. Midlife may sometimes feel like a confusing and disorienting rethinking of everything, but it doesn't have to be navigated alone.

Here are some of the benefits you'll experience:

• Personalized Guidance: Tailored strategies that align with your values and goals.

• Emotional Support: Navigate the emotional ups and downs of midlife with confidence.

• New Perspectives: Discover new possibilities and reignite your passions.

• Improved Well-being: Learn well-being practices that enhance your overall quality of life.

If you're ready to explore what's next and reconnect with yourself, come and talk to us. Our expert midlife coaches are here to support you through these middling moments, helping you rediscover the magic and potential of midlife.

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Midlife is a time of change—let’s make it a time of possibility. Sign up for our mailing list to receive insights, tools, and guidance to help you navigate midlife with more clarity, confidence, and ease. Because this chapter is yours to shape. Join us here

Rediscovering connection through Taylor Swift's Eras Tour

Ever found yourself caught in the whirlwind of Taylor Swift's universe, endlessly scouring for concert updates, dissecting lyrics, and soaking in every moment of her performances?

If you're seeking ways to connect more deeply with yourself and others, you're not alone in turning to Swift. Let's delve into how the pop superstar’s music has become more than just entertainment; it’s now our collective way to both self-discovery and meaningful connection.

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The power of collective effervescence and emotional connection

In his studies on awe, psychologist Dacher Keltner explores the concept of 'collective effervescence,' where shared experiences create a sense of unity and awe. Taylor Swift's music acts as a catalyst for this phenomenon, bringing people together from all walks of life.

In a world plagued by loneliness, her concerts become sanctuaries of togetherness, where we find solace in shared emotions and experiences. For those seeking an emotional connection, Swift's music offers a powerful way to bridge the gaps between our fragmented lives.

Embracing emotional freedom through music

Swift's songs serve as emotional landscapes, inviting us to feel deeply and authentically. In a society that often encourages emotional suppression, her music gives us permission to embrace our vulnerabilities, to cry, to laugh, to rage, and to love without restraint.

Through her narratives, we confront our own emotional narratives, challenging beliefs that hinder our connection with ourselves and others.

For anyone looking to connect more with their feelings, Taylor Swift's music provides a safe space to explore and express emotions.

Writing our own stories and building connections

As we immerse ourselves in Taylor Swift's music, we not only find connection but also inspiration to rewrite our own stories. Her openness about the messy, imperfect parts of life reminds us that it's okay to not have it all figured out.

We're encouraged to embrace the complexities of our existence, to acknowledge our struggles, and to find beauty in our imperfections.

For those wanting to connect more with who they believe themselves to be and how they are really living their lives, Swift's music is a guide for how to do this with courage and vulnerability (the two often go together).

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Embracing our own eras

As the Eras tour unfolds, it's more than just a musical spectacle; it's a phenomenon centered on being seen and feeling connected.

Through Taylor Swift's music, we find camaraderie, emotional release, and a renewed sense of self.

So, let's lean into the melodies, the lyrics, and the shared experiences, knowing that in each chord and verse, we find echoes of our own stories, our own struggles, and our own triumphs.

For anyone looking to connect more with themselves and others, Taylor Swift's music offers a heartfelt path forward.

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Ready to deepen your connection with yourself and others? Subscribe to our newsletter for more insights on emotional wellness and join our community of like-minded individuals on this ever-meandering journey of self-discovery.

Plus, get exclusive updates on how music and other forms of art can enrich your life (see our Culture Therapy series for more).

Click here to subscribe now and start connecting with yourself, each other, and the world around you in new and creative ways.

How journaling can positively impact your well-being

I recently attended a Writing Workshop for Well-being at The Write Place in Frome led by Christina Sanders, an educator, poet, and fiction writer. During a Saturday morning session, both seasoned writers and complete beginners explored how the simple act of putting words on a page can help us connect with the wonder of life, slow down, deepen our awareness, and unleash our imagination.

James Pennebaker, a social psychologist, was one of the first to highlight the emotional benefits of expressing our thoughts and feelings through writing. His studies, along with those of others, have demonstrated that expressive writing can help us feel less isolated, identify our emotions, and connect with our needs. Moreover, it can assist in processing trauma and alleviating depression.

Writing is a powerful, generative practice. It helps us make sense of our thoughts and feelings, allowing us to write to understand, to get unstuck, and to be curious. Writing encourages us to pay attention to what’s happening inside us as well as in the world around us. And importantly, it can be a source of fun, enabling us to play with our imaginations and give our minds the freedom to roam—even into silliness!

One of the most remarkable insights from the workshop was how quickly writing could create a positive shift. Although the workshop lasted three hours, the actual exercises were just 5 to 10 minutes long. Even these brief exercises were enough to bring about a sense of well-being.

Below, I’ve included five short exercises adapted from Christina’s prompts. These combine freewriting—where you keep writing without stopping, letting whatever comes up flow onto the page—with journaling exercises.

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Five Short Writing Exercises for Well-being

Five-Minute Freewrite:

• Set a timer for five minutes

• Start writing and don’t stop until the timer goes off.

• Write whatever comes to mind without worrying about grammar or structure. Just let your thoughts flow.

Write a dialogue:

Take as your subjects the different parts of yourself (e.g., your anxious self and your calm self). This can help you explore inner conflicts and find resolutions. This can also support you in better understanding your inner dynamics and find balanced solutions.

• Identify two aspects of yourself that are in conflict.

• Write a conversation between these parts, allowing each to express its perspective.

Gratitude Journaling:

•  Spend five minutes writing about things you are grateful for.

• Focus on the details and how these things make you feel.

Imaginary Journey:

• Imagine a place where you feel completely at peace.

• Spend ten minutes describing this place in as much detail as possible.

• Allow your imagination to take over and enjoy the process of creating your peaceful haven.

Visual Prompts:

Using images as prompts can stimulate creativity and emotional expression. This exercise can help you explore emotions and uncover hidden thoughts.

• Find a photograph or piece of artwork that resonates with you.

• Spend 10-15 minutes writing about what you see, how it makes you feel, and any memories or thoughts it evokes.

Try these exercises and see how writing can enhance your well-being. Remember, the key is not to self-edit as you go along. No one else needs to read what you write—not even you. The goal is simply to get your thoughts and feelings down on the page, no matter how messy or meandering they may seem.

Try to write regularly, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.

You might be surprised by what emerges from your scribbles. Give it a try, and you’ll see the benefits for yourself.

Happy writing!

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The best self-help books for when you're feeling lost

Self-help books written by men currently dominate the bestseller lists — such as those by James Clear and Eckhart Tolle —although women have traditionally been the primary consumers of these titles. However, female authors have started to gain popularity and draw widespread readership.

We’ve selected our favourite self-help books by female authors that we turn to when we’re lost. These five non-fiction books are our go-to’s when we need more practical support for our mental health and emotional wellbeing.

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A self-help book to connect with self-acceptance | Already Enough by Lisa Olivera

We’ve been thinking a lot about self-acceptance over the past month: how we feel forced to mold and shape ourselves into something else just to be, and the one book we’ve been turning to as an antidote to that perspective is this one. Lisa Olivera’s Already Enough: A Path to Self-Acceptance.

In this book you’re gently encouraged to write a whole new story — and with that invite in a new set of beliefs and possibilities — so that ultimately you can believe in and access your “inherent enoughness.”

Staying in her work as a therapist, Olivera gives us a space to reflect on what our story is: such as needing to be perfect to feel worthy, having to stay small because our needs don’t matter or not showing up because we don’t belong.

This book feels like having a session with Olivera, as she takes us through practices, questions, and tools to reframe our stories and then courageously integrate new ones. This book is for anyone, who feels less than accepted, who is striving, striving, striving, and wonders what’s beneath that.

““Our stories weave themselves into every aspect of our lives. They shape our reactions and our choices. They influence how we treat ourselves and how we relate to other people. Our stories are guiding forces in our experience of being human.””

— Lisa Olivera

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A self-help book for when you’re burned out on self-help | Real self-care by Dr Pooja Lakshmin

This is the book we’d been seeking as an antidote to the pressure to do more and more and more. It’s almost an anti-self-help book in that it both challenges some of the assumptions of the ever-improving industry and offers a different, almost unmarketable, set of ideas for how to be.

Dr Lakshmin emphasizes genuine self-awareness over quick fixes, advocating for practices that nurture holistic well-being rather than fleeting indulgences. In this book, burnout becomes a form of cultural betrayal, as we turn to one of three coping mechanisms from the self-help industry: escape, achievement, or optimization.

For Dr. Lakshmin Real Self-Care is self-driven and founded on four key principles:

1. Setting boundaries around your needs and desires

2. Treating yourself with compassion which might mean changing how you talk to yourself

3. Moving closer to yourself by connecting with what matters most to you

4. Making yourself bigger (rather than smaller) and supporting other women as you do so

Read this if you’re tired of quick fixes or you even experiencing fatigue around the latest wellness trend.

““Wellness dogma says that a fix for your troubles is as simple as buying a new day planner or signing up for a meditation class. And according to this philosophy, when you don’t find time for these “solutions”, it’s your fault for not keeping up with one more task on your to-do list.””

— Dr Pooja Lakshmin

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A self-help book for when you feel stuck | Un(Stuck) by Dr Sophie Mort

Dr Sophie Mort’s (Un)Stuck is the perfect book if you’ve ever committed to a habit that didn’t stick, found that you’re stuck in one that you can’t break, or you find yourself getting in your own way.

A clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Neuroscience and the bestselling author of A Manual for Being Human who has become somewhat renowned for taking therapy to Instagram, Dr Soph as she’s known has written an accessible, practical and hopefully impactful self-help book on what to do when we (inevitably) get stuck. So if you’re curious to know what might be getting in the way of anything you want to do (but can’t) read this.

In this book, Dr Soph covers five areas that “people rarely fully understand that get in the way of us being able to take charge of our lives and stop going in circles.” 

1. Heuristics: understanding what these are and how they might be holding you back

2. Self-sabotage: what it really is (self-rescuing?) and what to do with it when this happens

3. Games: knowing that you might be playing these, often unconsciously (any rescuers out there?)

4. History: understanding generational patterns and the scripts that we inherit, and unknowingly live by

When you’re feeling stuck in life, this book can help you get out of your own (often unconscious) way.

““More than 40 percent of our actions are behaviours we engage in without conscious thought.” ”

— Dr Sophie Mort

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A self-help book to build self-awareness | Why Had Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr Julie Smith

Dr Julie Smith’s bestselling book is a toolkit – it’s filled with the lessons we could learn through years of therapy, but that should be available to all of us before we even sit on that couch. Like what’s the baseline for our emotional and mental wellbeing? What are the foundational approaches to better navigate our everyday lives? How can we build a practice when we’re feeling good that serves us when we’re feeling bad?

Drawing from her extensive experience as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Smith distills complex psychological concepts into accessible and actionable advice. The book is structured around key themes such as managing anxiety, battling depression, building self-confidence, and fostering resilience.

Dr. Smith's approach is refreshingly straightforward, offering tools and techniques that can be immediately applied to daily life. She emphasizes the importance of understanding and managing one's emotions, highlighting that mental health is a continuous journey rather than a destination. Through relatable anecdotes, insightful tips, and engaging exercises, we can learn how to cultivate a healthier mindset and develop coping mechanisms for stress and adversity.

One of the standout aspects of the book is its focus on self-compassion and the power of small, consistent changes. Dr. Smith encourages us to be kind to ourselves and to recognize our progress, no matter how incremental.

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? is an empowering resource that demystifies mental health and provides a toolkit for building a more resilient and fulfilling life. This is a book to live through and by, which is why it’s one of the most popular self-help books at the moment.

““you have to get to work being your own coach instead of your own worst critic””

— Dr Julie Smith

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A self-help book for when you need a pep talk | Life Skills for a Broken World by Dr Ahona Guha

In the Preface to this book Dr Guha suggests two ways to use it. The first is to read it from start to finish. The second is to dip into it if you’re not feeling great. We’ve done both.

Life Skills by Dr. Ahona Guha is the guide to life that we all need right now as we navigate the complexities of modern life.

As a clinical and forensic psychologist, Dr. Guha leverages her extensive expertise to present a practical manual that covers a wide array of life skills crucial for personal and professional success. The book is structured to address various aspects of well-being, including emotional intelligence, effective communication, stress management, and decision-making.

Dr. Guha's writing is both engaging and informative, breaking down intricate psychological concepts into relatable and actionable advice. Each chapter is dedicated to a specific skill, providing readers with clear, step-by-step instructions on how to develop and hone these abilities. Through real-life examples, interactive exercises, and reflective questions, the book encourages readers to actively apply what they learn to their own lives.

A notable feature of Life Skills is its holistic approach, emphasizing the interconnectedness of different skills and how they collectively contribute to a balanced and fulfilling life. Dr. Guha advocates for continuous learning and resilience, offering insights that are both practical and inspirational.

Life Skills is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to enhance their capabilities and lead a more effective and enriched life.

“This is a book of understanding, of action, of realism, of anti-hustle, and some tolerable discomfort — not a pastel book of self-care, bubble baths, motivational quotes, and polite platitudes.”

— Dr Ahona Guha

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These are our favorite self-help books by female authors that offer us guidance as we navigate our lost moments. They speak to the pressures of being a woman in the world today and all we’re now supposed to strive for. Together they offer a much-needed antidote to the idea of doing more to be more by female authors who get it too.

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For more ways to navigate life, join our mailing list. Like little doses of (real) self-care in an email.

How to design a life that nurtures your well-being

You've probably tried setting relentless self-improvement goals.

Often, these goals set us up for disappointment because they're based on societal expectations, rather than our true selves.

So how can you design a life that actually supports and nurtures you?

That’s a question we consider all the time as we’re bombarded with expectations about what life should be.

We’ve found that creating a life that emphasizes self-acceptance, emotional awareness, curiosity, and creativity helps us not only face personal but also global uncertainties.

Here's how you can start building a life that truly supports you.

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How to shift focus to creating a supportive environment

Begin by acknowledging your current state and the resources available to you. Instead of relentlessly pursuing self-improvement, ask yourself how you can create an environment and lifestyle that supports you as you are. This shift in focus encourages acceptance, fostering daily practices that fit within your life.

How to navigate uncertainty with curiosity

In our uncertain world, it's crucial to develop curiosity and flexibility. Focus on where you find stability internally when external conditions are volatile. Prioritize a version of self-care that helps you adapt without imposing the broken pieces of the world onto you.

How to manage unwanted emotions

Recognize that encountering feelings like fear, shame, guilt, or anxiety is normal when navigating life's complexities. Equip yourself with strategies to acknowledge, understand, and manage these emotions. This involves not letting them dictate your actions or self-worth, but rather, learning how to coexist with them as you move forward in life.

By adopting these practices, you can begin to design a life that not only supports you but also inspires others to do the same. Embracing acceptance, curiosity, and creativity in the face of uncertainties allows us to build a life centered around more of what we need and access better well-being.

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Are you ready to design a life that truly supports you?

We’ve created our self-guided, online course, Find Your Way, to help people like you learn how to navigate life's uncertainties so you can feel better on your terms.

You might have tried endless self-improvement regimes. Often, these fail because they focus on changing who we are, rather than accepting and working with what we've got.

With this on-demand course you’ll get to design a life that helps you feel better and nurtures your well-being.

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Here’s a 5-minute glimpse into Find Your Way:

Benefits of this course:

1. Learn to navigate life with curiosity, understanding how exploring can open the way for more possibility.

2. Gain strategies to manage unwanted emotions, turning them from obstacles into opportunities for greater self-awareness.

3. Discover the power of creating a life that meets your needs, while fostering a sense of connection with others.

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When we start designing a life that truly supports us with the resources and capabilities we currently possess, our focus can shift away from constant self-improvement towards creating an environment and lifestyle that nurtures our well-being.

Enroll today to begin exploring life, and your well-being, in a whole new way.

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From self-doubt to self-belief: Strategies to overcome Imposter Syndrome

Ever felt like a fraud, even when in reality you’ve got this? Hands up if you’ve ever experienced Imposter Syndrome!

At the recent Bath Festival, Dr. Jessamy Hibberd, the brilliant mind behind The Imposter Cure, asked a packed room if they’d ever felt this way. Spoiler alert: nearly everyone raised their hands! Turns out, about 70% of people have experienced Imposter Syndrome at some point. You're definitely not alone!

A Quick History Lesson on Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome was first identified by researchers in 1978 when they discovered that many high-achieving women, including those in academia, felt like frauds even though they were more than qualified. These women were fearful of being found out and believed that their success and accomplishments were based on external factors like luck or other people’s mistakes, rather than their abilities. The study concluded that Imposter Syndrome was widespread among high-achieving women and this led to wider recognition of the term. The concept would be expanded to apply to men — 50% of whom feel it too — as well as people from different backgrounds and professions.

So, What Is Imposter Syndrome?

In short, it’s the sneaky belief that we’re not worthy of our achievements. Even when we’re outwardly successful, we think we’re not good enough. Dr. Hibberd calls these “faulty beliefs.” Many of us are busy doubting ourselves. When we approach life from a place of anxiety — from fearing we’ll get found out — that can make it impossible to give ourselves the space to learn, grow, and experiment. Sound familiar?

We also think everyone else has it all together. We see others’ shiny success stories and hold ourselves to impossible standards, trying to be the best version of ourselves. It’s exhausting!

Meet the 5 Imposter Types—Which One Are You?

1. The Perfectionist: Believes there’s a right and wrong way to do everything.

2. The Soloist: Is hesitant to ask for help.

3. The Natural Genius: Thinks they need to get it right on the first try.

4. The Expert: Feels they need to know everything before starting.

5. The Superwoman/man: Strives to be perfect in all areas.

These can lead us down two not-so-fun paths: Avoidance (hello, procrastination!) and Overwork (burnout, anyone?). Which one’s your go-to?

Finding Your Grounding in Self-Belief

Dr. Hibberd suggests some impactful strategies to combat Imposter Syndrome:

• Self-Compassion: Swap self-criticism for self-awareness. Talk to yourself like you would to a friend.

• Challenge Your Beliefs: Keep a record of your daily successes and strengths. This helps shift how you see yourself.

• Be Aware of Biases: We all have a 'negativity bias' (always on the lookout for threats) and a 'confirmation bias' (seeking proof of what we believe).

The Antidote in The Imposter Cure

In her book, Dr. Hibberd delves deep into practical, science-backed strategies to help you reframe your thoughts and silence your inner critic. Here are some gems from the book:

• Visualization Techniques: Picture your success and visualize overcoming challenges.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Exercises: Change negative thought patterns with simple yet effective CBT practices.

• Daily Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to reinforce your worth and capabilities.

Sharing Is Caring

Sitting with a group of fellow doubters at the Guildhall, I realized the magic of saying, “That’s me too.” It’s a reminder that we’re not alone. We’re all in this together, and we’re all more ‘normal’ than we think. Let’s take a deep breath and let go of that weight because many of us are exhausted from carrying it around with us.

Ready to Move Beyond Imposter Syndrome?

Check out Dr. Hibberd’s The Imposter Cure. Or, let’s have a chat. Book a free 20-minute call to see how a 1:1 coaching session with one of our Certified Coaches can help you navigate and conquer Imposter Syndrome.

Well-being Series: 6 Well-being Practices to Boost Your Mood

Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes things just happen that put us in a bad mood. Other times we make decisions that get us down. And still other times we feel bad for no obvious reason. All we know is that we want to feel better...but we're just not sure how.

Luckily, psychological research has shown us some ways we can boost our mood. Here are several to check out. If any resonate with you see if you can fold them into your plan for better mental and emotional well-being.

1. Practice gratitude

​One of the best ways to start feeling better is to practice gratitude. You can write a gratitude journal or a gratitude list. These activities can result in a quick and fast boost of positivity.

2. Cultivate self-compassion

Self-compassion can often help us feel better about ourselves. We're not as judgmental of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and we treat ourselves better. You can boost self-compassion by writing yourself a self-compassionate letter that reminds you of all the good things about you and by talking to yourself like you would a friend, kindly.

3. Boost self-confidence

When we are confident, we are more likely to take the necessary actions we need to take to improve our lives. As a result, it can be easier to be in a better mood. We may be able to boost self-confidence by reminding ourselves of our strengths and positive qualities. So go ahead and think about your strengths. It doesn’t have to be anything big—maybe you’re a good cook, good at playing video games, or have a good imagination.

4. Write yourself a 'feel better soon' letter

Research shows that looking at our current situation from another point in time can decrease our current negative emotions and make us feel better (Bruehlman-Senecal & Ayduk, 2015). So if you've experienced a breakup or other difficult event that has put you in a bad mood, it may be helpful to write a letter to yourself from some time in the future. Tell yourself to "feel better soon" and talk about all the great stuff your future self is doing once this challenging time has passed.

5. Try to notice the positive things

Numerous studies show that training our attention away from the negative and onto the positive improves our well-being (MacLeod, et al., 2002; Wadlinger & Isaacowitz, 2008). For example, if we lose a job, we might say to ourselves: "I am so happy to have my family and friends".

6. Look at positive images

All the science is great for helping us learn strategies to feel better. But sometimes we just want to look at funny or cute things. (There's actually science that suggests positive images do boost our mood.) Sometimes, when we’re feeling down, it can be helpful to let our brains rest, look at cute otter videos online, and just let our mood improve that way.

If you're in a bad mood these are some of the things you can do to feel better. Try one of the suggestions presented here. Just be sure to be gentle with yourself, take your time, and do it your way.

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If you’re curious to discover more daily practices for better emotional and mental well-being, subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll share our favorite ways to feel better and take you from lost to found.

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References

●      Bruehlman-Senecal, E., and O. Ayduk. 2015. “This Too Shall Pass: Temporal Distance and the Regulation of Emotional Distress." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 108 (2): 356.

●      MacLeod, C., Rutherford, E., Campbell, L., Ebsworthy, G., & Holker, L. (2002). Selective attention and emotional vulnerability: assessing the causal basis of their association through the experimental manipulation of attentional bias. Journal of abnormal psychology, 111(1), 107.

●      Wadlinger, H. A., & Isaacowitz, D. M. (2008). Looking happy: The experimental manipulation of a positive visual attention bias. Emotion, 8(1), 121.

Well-being Series: What to do about all the pressure to be happy

Right now, you might be feeling the pressure to be happy all the time. And if you’re not quite there, you may feel like you're in constant pursuit of happiness. You might even feel like you’re failing at happiness.

Our relationship with happiness has become something entangled with ideas of toxic positivity. So let’s find out what distinguishes good positivity from bad positivity, as well as how to reset our relationship with the very idea of happiness.

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What is toxic positivity?

Positivity involves things like gratitude, optimism, and positive reappraisal and you may have heard that positivity is good for well-being.

On the flip side, maybe you’ve felt annoyed, angry, or uncomfortable when positivity was forced on you. Indeed, positivity can be good for well-being...as long as we’re not using it to avoid or suppress negative emotions. Then, it can become toxic.

Toxic positivity is defined as the act of rejecting or denying stress, negativity, or other negative experiences that exist (Sokal, Trudel, & Babb, 2020).

It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish positivity from toxic positivity.

For example, if someone tells us, “Hey, look at the bright side,” we might feel like they are diminishing or denying our negative feelings. Because negative emotions are tools we use to get important needs met, we don’t just want to be shoving them away without acknowledgment.

So, seemingly positive advice from friends can often feel like toxic positivity to the person receiving it.

Here are a few more examples of toxic positivity:

●      I say: “I’m having a bad day.” Toxic response: “But you have so much to be grateful for.”

●      I say “I don’t know if I can have a relationship with my sister. She doesn’t treat me with decency and respect.” Toxic response: “She’s family. You should love her no matter what.”

●      I say: “This job sucks.” Toxic response: “You’re lucky you even have a job.”

In these examples, someone is using positivity to get rid of our true or negative experiences.

On the other hand, say a friend tells us, “Hey, it’s okay not to be okay. ” This shows acceptance of our negative emotions as well as compassion and gratitude. This approach is not toxic because it doesn't deny our emotions and force us to feel something we don’t want to feel.

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When does positivity become toxic?

1. One study showed that looking for silver linings is only beneficial in uncontrollable contexts. For example, if we lose our job, we might benefit from thinking about our future opportunities. But if we try to use positive reappraisal in controllable situations—or situations that we could change—we might actually be worse off (Troy, Shallcross, & Mauss, 2013).

2. Some research suggests that it is inappropriate to use positivity (positive reappraisal) when our identities are being threatened. For example, when people experience racial oppression, looking for silver linings appears to actually lead to worse well-being (Perez & Soto, 2011).

3. If people encourage us to use a specific emotion regulation skill that we’re not good at, it could actually leave us worse off. And for many people, positivity can be a difficult skill to develop and implement. So if you’re not good at being positive, optimistic, or reflecting on your situation to find the silver lining, it could actually be bad for you (Ford & Troy, 2019).

4. Most people think of positive emotion as a good thing, and more is better, right? Well, it turns out that too much positive emotion may actually be a bad thing. Too much positive emotion has been shown to be a risk factor for mania (Gruber, Johnson, Oveis, & Keltner, 2008). So, too much positive emotion actually can be a bad thing.

5. Being obsessed with happiness and focusing excessively on getting happy has also been shown to be bad for well-being (Ford & Mauss, 2014). It’s thought that this may create a discrepancy between how we feel now and how we want to feel. Indeed, having ultra-high expectations for happiness tends to be bad for our mental health.

Toxic positivity can be tricky. The benefits of positivity are very real and impactful, but at the same time, it can be easy to get positivity wrong.

Hopefully, the guidance here will help you take what you can from the field of positivity psychology and our ever-returning pursuit of happiness while still being able to prevent positivity from becoming toxic.

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Take the next step to better mental and emotional well-being

Join our course ‘Find Your Way’ to create your own way to well (that includes happiness and so much more)

This online, self-guided well-being course is designed to give you the space, time, and resources to explore more of what you need. Over 12 weeks you’ll get to create your own well-being practice that draws on the latest science but is still shaped by your core values, beliefs, and needs. Discover how you can get beyond happy to feel better in your everyday life.

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References

●      Ford, B., & Mauss, I. (2014). The paradoxical effects of pursuing positive emotion. In J. Gruber & J. T. Moskowitz (Eds.),  Positive emotion: Integrating the light sides and dark sides (pp. 363–382). Oxford University Press.

●      Ford, B. Q., & Troy, A. S. (2019). Reappraisal reconsidered: A closer look at the costs of an acclaimed emotion-regulation strategy. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 28(2), 195-203.

●      Gruber, J., Johnson, S. L., Oveis, C., & Keltner, D. (2008). Risk for mania and positive emotional responding: Too much of a good thing? Emotion, 8(1), 23–33.

●      Perez, C. R., & Soto, J. A. (2011). Cognitive reappraisal in the context of oppression: Implications for psychological functioning. Emotion, 11, 675–680.

●      Sokal, L., Trudel, L. E., & Babb, J. (2020). It’s okay to be okay too. Why calling out teachers’“toxic positivity” may backfire.

●      Troy, A. S., Shallcross, A. J., & Mauss, I. B. (2013). A person-by-situation approach to emotion regulation: Cognitive reappraisal can either help or hurt, depending on the context. Psychological science, 24(12), 2505-2514.

Well-being Series: What is eudaimonic well-being and how can you cultivate more of it in your everyday life?

Many of us are aiming to be more happy in our lives. But we can find the pursuit itself falling short.

One way to reframe how we understand happiness is through the concept of eudaimonia. This combines eu (good) and daimon (spirit) and can be defined as a life well-lived, or human flourishing.

To access eudaimonia in your everyday life, four core elements have been found to be needed (Huta & Waterman, 2014):

●      Authenticity

●      Excellence

●      Growth

●      Meaning

So how can you shift to increasing your eudaimonic well-being rather than focusing wholly on happiness? These wellbeing tips will help you cultivate this experience of eudaimonia in your life and discover how it connects with your sense of happiness.

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Ways to Increase Eudaimonic Well-Being

Here are a few actionable steps that you can take to promote eudaimonia for better mental health and emotional well-being.

1. Express your values and stay close to them

We all have different values. If something is truly important to you, try your best to stand by it, even when others don’t agree. This will also help you feel true to yourself (see #6).

2. Write down your biggest goals

This isn’t your usual career goal or where you want to see yourself in 20 years. These are goals that reflect your core values. Sure, they can be related to your career, but think about it at a broader level. For example, some of your big goals could be ‘to help people who are struggling’ and ‘to stand up for marginalized groups’.

3. Develop and refine your skills and capabilities

No matter who you are, you are good at something (or many things). You have traits that can help you achieve your goals (re: #2). Maybe you’re good at giving advice, or you're detail-oriented, or you have an ear for music. Whatever it is, focus your efforts on developing the skills that bring you joy.

4. Focus on the quality, not quantity, of your relationships

This might seem obvious, but social connections play a major role in well-being. Of course, you’ll form new relationships as you start different chapters of your life, but remember not to neglect the people you cherish and truly care about. This can be as simple as expressing gratitude or calling your favorite people now and then to check-in. Also, sometimes we may realize that relationships are no longer serving us, which may mean it’s time to reassess how those show up in our lives.

5. Do the things you genuinely want to do

We engage with things for different reasons: sometimes it’s because it’s personally rewarding (i.e., intrinsic motivation) or externally rewarding (i.e., extrinsic motivation). Find things you love to do, and not only have to do. Yes, life is full of responsibilities and activities that are extrinsically motivated, but even a few side hobbies that bring you joy can be helpful in the long run.

6. Be authentic and true to yourself

Have you ever felt not quite like ‘yourself’ after saying or doing something? We all have those moments. It’s not a comfortable feeling because it feels like you’re lying to yourself. It’s no wonder that authenticity is such a big part of eudaimonia.

7. Do Positive Activities

What are some things you can do in daily life to promote eudaimonia? A study by Steger and colleagues (2008) outlined the following eudaimonic activities:

●      Volunteering one’s time

●      Giving money to someone in need

●      Writing out one’s future goals

●      Expressing gratitude for another’s actions

●      Carefully listening to another’s point of view

●      Confiding in someone about something that is of personal importance

●      Persevering at valued goals despite obstacles

As you consider how to be happier, try to shift more towards how to cultivate eudaimonic well-being.

Which of these well-being tips will you try?

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Take the next step to better mental and emotional well-being

If you’re curious to know more about what better well-being means to you, and how to navigate your way through life when you’re feeling lost, lonely, uncertain, or overwhelmed explore our personalized coaching options. Find your way to more good days.

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References

●      Hursthouse, R. (1999). On virtue ethics. Oxford University Press.

●      Huta, V., & Waterman, A. S. (2014). Eudaimonia and its distinction from hedonia: Developing a classification and terminology for understanding conceptual and operational definitions. Journal of Happiness Studies, 15(6), 1425–1456.

●      Steger, M. F., Kashdan, T. B., & Oishi, S. (2008). Being good by doing good: Daily eudaimonic activity and well-being. Journal of Research in Personality, 42(1), 22–42.

Well-being Series: How to boost your digital well-being

Although people define digital well-being in different ways, this is generally thought to be the extent to which our digital lives help or hurt our well-being. This can involve the physical tools we use to manage the amount of time we spend online, the behaviors we decide to engage in while online, and the emotional tools we use to manage our experiences online. Discover what better digital well-being might look like to you.

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Physical Tools for Digital Well-Being

First, discover how much time you spend online and how you might want to disconnect more often with a tool like Google's Digital Well-Being App or Apple’s Screen Time. These can show you how often you use different apps and check your phone. They can also allow you to set limits that can help protect your sleep and focus. Knowing your current digital habits is a good step in understanding yourself.

And setting limits can indeed be helpful for well-being. But if a digital well-being tool's primary purpose is to help us be on our phones less, this means that we’re working with an inherent assumption that more digital interactions lead to worse well-being. And the research doesn’t quite support this assumption.

Although movies like The Social Dilemma point to clear problems with how Internet apps are being developed, these leave out important information that can help you better improve your digital well-being. Indeed, app designers are trained in psychological techniques that get users addicted and reliant upon these apps for a sense of connectedness, emotion regulation, and just survival in the modern world. This can be especially problematic for those prone to addictions and can significantly hurt the well-being of some people.

However, the research shows that some apps improve the well-being of some people in some circumstances. Hopelab published a fascinating study showing that youth who suffer from depression benefited from accessing other people’s health stories through blogs, podcasts, and videos. Overall, research reviews suggest that technology use is not bad for all and not bad in all circumstances.

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Behavioral tools for digital well-being

Given the research, behavioral and emotional tools are likely also useful for enhancing digital well-being. In other words, we need to choose to avoid apps or experiences that make us feel bad and instead choose to engage with apps and experiences that make us feel good.

This means growing our understanding of how different apps affect our well-being, self-reflecting on how our digital time is spent, and making the right decisions for us.

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Emotional tools for digital well-Being

Many of the emotional tools we need for digital well-being are the very same emotional tools we need for real life. We just need to apply them in our digital lives. Here are some specific tips:

1. Be more mindful

When we're more mindful of how we live our digital lives, we pay more attention to our experiences and emotions, and also to others. This heightened awareness can help us make decisions that help us better appreciate the good and manage the bad.

2. Focus on others

When we are on social media, we tend to focus mostly on ourselves — our feelings, opinions, and experiences. But heightened self-focus can amplify negativity. The research shows that other-focus and prosocial behavior (kindness towards others) are fantastic ways to boost well-being. So when you're online, try to focus more on doing kind activities.

3. Find the good things

While online, try to look for the good things or the silver linings. If you find something positive, consider sharing it with others (#SilverLinings). Practicing this skill both on and offline can help you improve your well-being.

4. Practice gratitude online

Gratitude is fantastic for well-being. And we can practice it both on and offline. Practice gratitude with gratitude journaling apps, share your gratitude in texts, or create a gratitude collection on Pinterest. Our digital lives are a great place to practice gratitude.

5. Cultivate self-esteem

The messages people post on social media can sometimes make us feel bad about ourselves. Maybe we don't feel attractive enough or popular enough. To fight these negative messages, try to spend more of your digital life doing things that boost self-esteem (like learning skills or making content) and less time pouring over what everyone else is doing.

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Digital well-being for everyday life

Digital well-being is now an important part of overall well-being. Knowing how to improve it and taking action to improve digital well-being is essential.

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If you’re curious about how your digital life is impacting your overall well-being, explore our course Find Your Way where we cover how untethering from tech can help you feel better.

References

Rideout, V., & Fox, S. (2018). Digital health practices, social media use, and mental well-being among teens and young adults in the US.

Verduyn, P., et al. (2017). "Do Social Network Sites Enhance or Undermine Subjective Well‐Being? A Critical Review." Social Issues and Policy Review 11(1): 274-302.

Ingram, R. E. 1990. “Self-Focused Attention in Clinical Disorders: Review and a Conceptual Model.” Psychological Bulletin 107 (2): 156–176.

How to create your emotional and mental well-being plan for happier days

In today's fast-paced world, just finding your way to feel better can be daunting. That’s why our online well-being course, "Find Your Way," offers a distinct approach to navigating through all the noise.

Our mission is to guide individuals toward enhanced emotional and mental well-being, acknowledging the uniqueness of each person's experience. "Find Your Way" provides inclusive and empathetic personalized support, while drowning out all the messages of what we should be doing with our time, bodies, life.

Here's how you can integrate "Find Your Way" into your daily routine and create an emotional and mental well-being plan that feels good to you.

How to incorporate our well-being course into your daily life

We've structured the course content into easily digestible segments — whether through video, audio, or workbook components. These daily lessons seamlessly blend into your schedule, each lasting approximately 10-20 minutes.

This manageable timeframe ensures you can seamlessly integrate our guidance into your daily rituals, be it during your morning coffee, a work break, or before bedtime. Consistency is key, so find a time that suits you best and make it a dedicated part of your day.

How to tailor our well-being course to your pace

One of the unique features of “Find Your Way” is its flexible duration. Whether it takes you 12 weeks or 12 months to move through the program, the important thing is to progress at your own pace. Set your own rhythm: there's no pressure to rush through the material. Instead, focus on fully absorbing the insights and applying them to your life. This flexibility allows for a truly personalized exploration of your well-being, one based on curiosity rather than anxiety.

How to cultivate a personal connection for support

As co-founders of If Lost, Claire and Amanda act not only as your guides but as companions on your wellness journey. Interact with the content as if engaging in a heartfelt conversation with a supportive friend.

This personal connection forms the cornerstone of the program, providing direct support and empathy. Remember, you're not alone in this; there's a real person, with genuine thought and expertise, guiding you every step of the way.

How to embrace the social purpose behind If Lost

At the core of our course lies a commitment to collective well-being. By participating in "Find Your Way," you contribute to a broader movement towards a more inclusive and supportive wellness culture.

Keep this purpose in mind as you progress through the program, allowing it to inspire and motivate your engagement.

Feeling lost, uncertain, overwhelmed, directionless, or something else? Discover how we can help you create an emotional and mental well-being plan that helps you find your way through life.

You can start this online well-being course anytime. Click on the link below to learn more.

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A glimpse into “Find Your Way”

Discover where this course will take you. How can it help you create an emotional and mental well-being plan of your own making? One that will help you feel better in your everyday life?

Studio Pottery

Go here if: You are seeking a break from the noise of the city and are looking to connect with the practice of making.

What is it: Founded by Lucy Attwood and Gregory Tingay in 2019, Studio Pottery London is a light-filled and spacious workshop for all who are attracted to making with clay, from absolute beginners to more experienced potters.

Why you need it: Uniquely located in central London in the heart of Victoria as part of the Eccleston Yards development, the studio has been created as a place of calm and community. A carefully curated working studio and gallery space provides a perfect environment for city-dwellers to come together to learn and create.

Photo: Yiki Dong, Studio Pottery, London

What they offer: Intimate classes across the two teaching classrooms with six wheels in each as well as a dedicated area that has been carefully designed to give members premium space. The central area, with its library, kitchenette and facilities, gives opportunities for the community to socialize.

Members and students are also welcomed by a resident potter into their private studio for one-to-one throwing and mentoring sessions, while an evolving teaching team and an in-house technician — who monitor the studio kilns and glazing room — provide support for the studio community.

For inspiration, take a look at the curated windows and displays of historic and contemporary ceramics (some of which are also for sale to visitors).

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We asked Directors and Co-Founders, Lucy Attwood and Gregory Tingay what makes Studio Pottery different:

“Our focus is throwing – working with clay on the wheel. The studio also provides space for hand-building. This traditional craft provides a counterbalance to the hyperactive, mechanised, and technologically saturated metropolis.

The hands-on practice of throwing opens dormant creativity and encourages therapeutic transformation. Engaging with clay, the practitioner slows down, assimilating technique and mastering knowledge through careful repetition. It is a holistic, gradual and joyous experience, connecting the potter to a living history of human making.

Our lineage flows directly from Bernard Leach and the 20th Century revival of studio pottery – enshrined in our name. At the heart of Studio Pottery London is the desire to form a community around a shared ethos and love of pottery in all its forms.”

— Gregory Tingay, Co-founder

“Pottery can be a wonderfully social activity, as well as a solitary path of meditative practice. Our studio respects both.

We provide group taster introductions, 5 week foundation courses, and run a regular schedule of ongoing mixed ability classes that you can book according to your availability.

Our expert teachers not only lead our group sessions, they offer on-one-on tuition, which is an excellent way to learn and grow in confidence on the wheel. If you would like the flexibility of coming in your own time you can become a member, enjoying exclusive access to our members area, equipped with several wheels and workspaces.

Our studio is also available for private hire, and our team has a wealth of experience arranging workshops for private functions and one-off experiences.”

— Lucy Attwood, Co-founder

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Studio Pottery

29 Eccleston Place
London SW1W 9NF

Website | Instagram

The Studio is open Tuesday through to Sunday.

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Turning Earth Ceramics

Go here if: You want to learn a new skill, make work in ceramics, be part of a community, find new ways to relax and unwind, nurture your creativity, or even develop your career.

What is it: Turning Earth's pioneering ceramics studios are for everyone, from beginners to part-time professionals, and can now be found in four London locations: Hoxton, Leyton, Tottenham and Highgate. They offer classes and open-access membership, "like a gym membership for potters".

Turning Earth Hoxton

Turning Earth Highgate

Why you need it: Turning Earth's mission is to cultivate craft both as an accessible hobby and as a viable career (they offer a full-time professional studio, In Production, in Leyton). They want to contribute towards a broad adult curriculum that will improve the quality of life in the city.

What they offer: All the ways to try making and develop skills: Tasters, 8 or 12-week beginners courses, intermediate courses, week-long courses, weekend-long courses, private workshops, and monthly membership.

For members, they also organise improvement workshops, like their very popular raku parties, and they have exclusive access to their quarterly ceramics markets.

Turning Earth Leyton

Turning Earth Tottenham

What makes it different: The community and atmosphere are unique to each of their studios. Someone might join for the craft and end up staying for the friends and a 'second home' discovered.

What else do you need to know: They are open every day till late except on Mondays. If you’re not local you can see the wide diversity of skills and techniques on their Instagram which is often updated with pots made by their members in the studio.

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In their own words: Turning Earth was founded by Tallie Maughan. Their first studio, Turning Earth Hoxton, opened in December 2013. Following a model popular in the US, it was the first dedicated open-access ceramics studio in London.

“Turning Earth is indebted to the Arts and Crafts movement at the beginning of the 20th century, which suggested that there should be no separation between utility and art.

Our vision rests in the intuited feeling that we will naturally make life more beautiful when we take our aesthetic awareness, our right-brained feeling for things, as seriously as we take our rational understanding of the world.

We exist to enable people to make beautiful physical objects, and in so doing to make their lives more beautiful: more centred, more fulfilled, more present to what they truly care about.

We feel that in making this movement, we are encouraging a broader social shift towards living with care in our world.”

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Turning Earth Hoxton

Arches 361-362. Whiston Road, London, E2 8BW

Turning Earth Highgate

Woodside Works, Summersby Road, London N6 5UH

Turning Earth Tottenham

Unit C, 38 Crawley Road, London, N22 6AG

Turning Earth Leyton

11 Argall Ave, London, E10 7QE

Website | Instagram

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Women Outdoors

Go here if: You are seeking outdoor events across the UK and abroad to inspire you and connect with nature and other people.

What is it: Women Outdoors is a community of friendly and fun-loving women of all ages, backgrounds and fitness levels based in the UK. They create an environment where you can be your authentic self, develop outdoor skills, connect with like-minded women and go home with a big smile on your face.

Why you need it: Getting into nature is about more than just beautiful views. It also brings significant mental and physical benefits such as:

• Increased self-esteem

• Reduced stress, anxiety and depression

• Improved fitness

• Increased feelings of connection and belonging

• Even more joy and fun

What they offer: All of Women Outdoors’ events are led by certified guides and instructors in the Peak District, Snowdonia, Yorkshire Dales, the Lake District or abroad. Events include hiking, wild swimming, paddleboarding, climbing, navigation courses and wellness retreats.

What else do you need to know: To ensure all women have access to life-enhancing outdoor opportunities, they organise one free hike a month and provide concessionary tickets for paid events.

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In their own words: We asked founder Emma Winters to tell us her story

Hey, I’m Emma, I’m 38 years old and I’m a qualified Mountain Leader & SUP Instructor from Hull, Yorkshire.

I have a huge passion for exploring nature and outdoor activities. Over the last 15 years I have travelled to 47 countries to absorb different landscapes and cultures, meet many diverse people and try lots of fun outdoor hobbies.

The whole of my working career has been as a Procurement professional in the corporate world but in December 2021 I decided to change my life forever. I handed in my notice and hit the road travelling for one year.

This gifted me with time and space to think and reflect on what I’m passionate about and where I want to spend my time and energy.

It was during this time that I founded Women Outdoors with the mission to break down confidence and financial barriers that prevent women from getting outside, trying new things and meeting new people.

Women Outdoors creates a safe space for all women, provides financial support where required and teaches the community about conservation, flora & fauna & outdoor skills.

If you would like to know more about my journey and creating Women Outdoors go here.

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Women Outdoors

Website | Facebook

For UK events go here. For trips abroad go here.

For private events contact emma.winter@womenoutdoorsuk.com

Navigating Well-being Your Way

Ever feel like well-being is just this elusive concept that's supposed to magically fix everything? We get it. The struggle is real when it comes to navigating the overwhelming sea of advice, scientific jargon, and endless to-dos just to feel a little better.

Picture this: You're drowning in information, constantly questioning where to start. You know you need something, but exhaustion kicks in before you even begin. And let's not even talk about the time factor – it's like there's a conspiracy against finding a moment for self-care in our hectic lives. Cue the self-judgment.

Then there's the inevitable feeling of failure. That trendy meditation or journaling practice that's all the rage? Nope, doesn't work for everyone. And suddenly, what's meant to be a source of well-being becomes a guilt trip because you can't seem to fit the mold.

Oh, and don't get us started on the 'magazine wellness' fantasy. Breakfast bowls? Try a rushed piece of toast. Herb-infused waters? More like a constant drip of caffeine to survive the daily grind.

But here's the thing: Well-being isn't one-size-fits-all. There's no right way to do it. What works for you might not work for someone else. And that's perfectly okay.

Enter Find Your Way – our 12-week course designed to redefine well-being. No more unattainable perfection, just a messy, fun, and sustainable journey back to yourself. Whether you crave calm or excitement, or need to tackle overwhelm or burnout, we've got you covered.

We've put in the work to create a course that respects your values, beliefs, and the unique shape of your life. It's not about conforming to stereotypes; it's about finding what truly feels good for you.

Starting on January 29th, this course is your personal roadmap to more of what matters – without the pressure. Join at your own pace, with access to our course hub, weekly meet-ups (if you fancy some company), and insights from amazing guest speakers.

Excited to embark on this curiosity-led journey with us? Register now, and let's make well-being your own unique adventure.

Check out our new video for a sneak peek into the course – trust us, you won't want to miss it!

Can't wait to see your faces and connect on a deeper level. Let's make positive mental health a reality, together.

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Wellbeing Series: How (and Why) to Practice Acceptance

What if this January you started not with change and transformation and self-improvement, but with a sense of acceptance?

You’re probably already having some response to this.

This is not to say don’t try to work towards something you need or value. And it’s definitely not to say accept the systemic injustices that impact how you feel and that might show up in your life on a daily basis.

So what are we talking about?

We all have a general sense of what it means to “accept” something. There are many aspects of life that we could simply “accept” — financial circumstances, unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling jobs, etc.

However, in psychology, acceptance means “taking a stance of non-judgmental awareness and actively embracing the experience of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they occur”. (Hayes et al., 2004)

One of the key ideas underlying acceptance is that difficult emotions are an inescapable part of life: at different times we will find ourselves sad, angry, disappointed, bored, frustrated, grieving, heartbroken, etc. No one, not even the most outwardly steady people, is free of these emotions.

When these emotions inevitably do arise, there are two ways that we can react: resistance or acceptance.

For many of us, resistance is our default reaction. After all, these emotions are not necessarily “pleasant” to experience.

However, psychologists have found that trying to resist or avoid certain difficult experiences can cause further psychological harm. (Hayes et al., 2006)

As Dr Julie Smith says. “Emotions are neither your enemy nor your friend… Emotions are your brain’s attempt to explain and attach meaning to what is going on in your world and your body.”

Why Acceptance Is Important

Studies suggest that acceptance is the healthier option. For example, Tara Brach writes, “believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering” (2004).

Your experience of yourself consists largely of your emotions, thoughts, and actions, and so learning to accept these (even when they seem difficult or undesirable) is a helpful tool for our well-being.

To be more accepting, it can be helpful to reflect on your habitual attitude towards yourself. Ask yourself:

• Do you ever speak harshly to yourself about a perceived mistake you made or an embarrassing thing you said?

• Are you ever feeling overwhelmed with emotion, and on top of everything, frustrated with yourself for feeling this way?

• How might you be able to take a more understanding and gentle attitude towards yourself?

How To Be More Accepting

1. Cultivate acceptance by noticing your resistance

How do you tend to resist your experience?

Do you snack to stave off boredom, or binge TV when you are sad?

Most of the ways we resist our experiences are unconscious—we do not always understand why we do certain things at certain times. So, resistance can become habitual. The first step towards changing any habit is simply becoming aware of its existence.

2. Cultivate acceptance by questioning your patterns

Once you have started to notice when and how you resist your experiences, try to dig a little deeper to consider why these patterns might exist.

When you were sad or angry as a child, how did the adults in your life react?

Did they allow you to work through these emotions, or did they (perhaps with the best intentions) tell you to put on a brave face or stop throwing a tantrum?

Do you think these experiences might have influenced the way you process emotions today?

It might be helpful to write out some of these reflections to remind yourself of your habitual patterns. It can also be a good opportunity for self-acceptance in that you can see that formative experiences, outside of your control, may have shaped your current patterns. The good news is that any pattern is open to change, as long as you are aware of it.

3. Cultivate acceptance by being mindful

So how can we even become aware of our habitual patterns? One way is with mindfulness.

Mindfulness involves both awareness and acceptance of our experience.

A traditional method of practicing mindfulness is through meditation, which involves dedicating some time to simply observing experiences nonjudgmentally. However, you can bring mindful moments into your everyday life, even without meditating.

4. Cultivate acceptance by thinking of your inner child

We are often our own harshest critics.

Accepting ourselves can be difficult because we are most likely so used to judging ourselves for thinking, feeling, and acting certain ways. You would rarely judge a loved one as harshly as you judge yourself.

One helpful technique in the meantime is to think about yourself as a child. This can help remind you of your most innocent and vulnerable self, which may make it easier to be gentle and understanding when your experience is difficult.

5. Cultivate acceptance through practice

Acceptance is just like any other skill: it takes practice. People who are accepting of themselves and others have made acceptance a mental habit by continuously choosing a more accepting mindset over and over again.

After a while, these repeated mental choices become habitual and natural and do not require as much effort.

So, next time you find yourself struggling with difficult emotions, try to use this as an opportunity to practice acceptance.

Remember, acceptance is not the same as resignation. Acceptance refers to acknowledging and allowing your present experience — not necessarily your life situation. Through awareness and practice, you can increase acceptance in your own life and enjoy the benefits that it may bring.

Further Reading

• Brach, T. (2004). Radical acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha. Bantam.

• Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1-25.

• Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., Bunting, K., Twohig, M., & Wilson, K. G. (2004). What is acceptance and commitment therapy? In A a practical guide to acceptance and commitment therapy (pp. 3-29). Springer, Boston, MA.

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If you’re curious about how to bring more acceptance into your life this year, we have a couple of options for you right now.

Join our 12-week Find Your Way course where together we’ll learn real wellbeing practices that can better serve our everyday needs, from acceptance practices like these to building a life based on what matters most to us.

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Discover how emotions coaching can support you in bringing more acceptance to your emotional life and rewrite some of those feelings scripts that hold you in check (and probably back from your needs). What could accepting all your feelings open up for you?

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Almost ready to think about 2024? What if next year we chose acceptance over transformation?

“Discovering ways to feel better doesn’t have to lead to feeling worse. It doesn’t have to be another area in which we fall short. It can be something else entirely different.”

— Amanda & Claire

We think we're done with the idea of transformation. We just want self-acceptance. Not in a yes, bring-it-all-on-way, but more putting a boundary around what we're supposed to be doing (i.e. more and more and more) and releasing ideas that no longer serve us. Think more about exploring possibilities and alleviating some of that pressure.

We're tired of constantly evaluating ourselves, tethered to ideas of productivity or the need to conform to an ideal life.

We've been guilty of living life according to a checklist, believing that fixing ourselves is just a matter of following the latest trend.

No longer do we want to project a future, better version of ourselves, neglecting the present reality. Perfection is no longer our goal; embracing life's messiness is what we strive for. 

If any of this resonates with you—if you're tired of trying to optimize every aspect of your life—join us in embracing 2024 with a tone of acceptance, compassion, and curiosity.

As we approach January, what if we reconsider the age-old tradition of radically changing ourselves? What if, instead of aiming for drastic transformation this New Year, we embraced a more enduring and impactful approach?

One that helps us remember that our worth isn't defined by what we eat or how many exercises we complete. It's okay if our morning routine isn't picture-perfect and that struggling with meditation for more than a few minutes doesn't equate to failure.

We've designed two incredible approaches to ease into 2024. Choose the one that resonates with you. Both create much-needed alternatives to those resolutions that often fade away.

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Say hello to self-acceptance this year and goodbye to all those resolutions

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Rediscover Emotional Well-being This Holiday Season: Craft Your Unique Well-being Practice.

As the holiday season shimmers into view, it's time for joy, merriment, and connection. Yet, for many of us, it can also mean a rush of overwhelming to-dos, bustling crowds, and a whirlwind of expectations. Amidst this festive fervor, have you found yourself yearning for something else? Maybe even a way to reset and reach for better emotional well-being in your life?

Right now though it might feel like any well-being practices are drowned out by the clamor of daily life. You have no capacity to do more, stretching yourself even thinner; any wellbeing practices that you usually rely on can slip through the cracks of your busy schedule.

But what if this holiday season, we could approach taking care of ourselves differently?

Imagine if you had a set of well-being practices crafted exclusively for you—a bespoke prescription designed to fit into your life, your values, and your unique needs. Sounds intriguing, right?

Here at If Lost we’ve made it our focus to curate personalized well-being practices that can fuel curiosity, build self-acceptance, and bring a sense of play to our everyday lives.

This isn’t about conforming to preset ideals or adding more 'must-dos' to your list. It's about rediscovering what well-being needs to mean for *you*—finding tranquility in nature, fostering deeper connections with those in your life, or simply carving out moments amidst the holiday hustle.

In these 1:1 online personalized sessions, you’ll get to:

🌟 Dive into the Science of Well-being—unpacking the significance of such areas as nature, connection, and giving back—and understand how these elements can attainably weave into your everyday life.

🌟 Discover what drives your curiosity—what brings you joy and what lights that spark of excitement, as well as what's ready to be released.

🌟 Create a sturdy foundation within your routine, offering steadfast anchors to turn to when life feels uncertain.

Your takeaway? A tailored well-being practice that aligns with your daily life—a plan designed to rejuvenate your spirits during this bustling season.

Imagine savoring the holidays with renewed calm, energy, and curiosity. It's not just about surviving the festivities; it's about thriving amidst them.

Ready to make this holiday season about rediscovering your emotional well-being? Reach out to us and let's craft your unique well-being practice today.

Holiday Gift Guide | Twelve gifts we love for better wellbeing this holiday

This season we’re moving from giving for the sake of giving to giving for connection, self-awareness, love, acceptance, curiosity, and creativity.

We’ve pulled together our Holiday Gift edit with gorgeous products from independents that can help us feel better. Whether that’s stepping into our emotional mess — and being okay with it — or finding the perfect notebook to accompany us through our days, we have something for you.

We hope you find the perfect gift from the selection below for someone in your life (or for yourself if you want to give yourself a sneaky something too).

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I Love You to the Moon and Back Biscuits from Honeywell Bakes

Happyish: An Oracle Deck with Nora McInerny from Em and Friends

A Stupid Candle for My Stupid Mental Health from Self Space

A5 softback French link stitch notebook from Inky Square

Dimple Incense Holder from Maegen

A bottle of Human Kindness from Vinegar and Brown Paper

Words of Wisdom Embroidery Hoop Sign from Make & Mend

Journal Gift Box from Walter & May

Jammy Dodger Keyring from Dunked

Places to Shop and 91 Magazine Bundle from 91 Magazine

Affirmations for a Better Future Carter Move Mug by People I’ve Loved

Nature Print from If Lost Start Here

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