Hoxton Street Monster Supplies

For: monsters of every kind struggling to find the supplies they need to get through their ghoulish days and humans of all ages looking to restore make-believe in their lives. 

What is it: One to enter at your own risk, this quirky store on an ordinary-looking street in Hackney is maybe the only one in the world (that we know of) that stocks “Bespoke and Everyday Items for the Living, Dead and Undead’.

What you need to know: Escape into your imagination with a store that is really one of its kind: since its murky start by newly exiled Igor the 1st in 1818 and its tentative steps into the human world in 2010, it has been serving everyone and everything with the kind of canned and boxed delights that any self-respecting creature needs, the fang floss, breath remedies, and dragon treats on our shopping list.

How to bring this into your undead life: Wherever you are, your way into this world is definitely via witty and fantastic products like their Salt Made from the Tears Shed while Home Schooling, Mummy’s Sewing Kit and packets of powdery pink brain food. If you live locally, volunteer to help brave visitors survive the store or become a writing mentor in the Ministry of Stories.

Why we think it’s different: Beyond its license to sell ‘items including, but not limited to: Malodulous Gases, Children’s Ears, Gore, Fear (tinned only)”, behind a secret password guarded door is The Ministry of Stories , a creative and mentoring charity for mini-humans aged 8 to 18.

The not-for-profit was started by About a Boy / Fever Pitch / High Fidelity writer Nick Hornby with Lucy Macnab and Ben Payne and was modeled on Dave Egger’s 826 Valencia. The aim of the classes here is to make writing fun and accessible across all genres from gaming to screenwriting, cookbook contributions, and graphic novels, and to build the confidence that comes with creative adventures on the page experienced in a supportive community.

It’s now been widely published that there’s a curse in the store – that makes all profits go to the Ministry of Stories. As Minister of Fluency, the beloved by us and many a monster, Colin Firth declares “you know your helping to support the business of the imagination with the next generation”, so maybe this is one hex that we humans won’t venture to break.

In their own words: “We pride ourselves on being London’s, and quite possibly the world’s, only purveyor of quality goods for monsters of every kind. Many of our customers have been coming to us for centuries. Indeed, some have been coming for considerably longer. Whether you’re a Vampire, Werewolf, Sasquatch or something else entirely, we have everything you need.”

Something to inspire: Short of attempting to rebrand everything in our homes – will our kids go with water if it’s the elixir of life – look to ways to bring in the make-believe. In a year, when we’re been abruptly pulled up by reality, there are ways of escape that might be nearer than the dream destinations we’re been longing for – retreats made in our minds, and played out in worlds of our own making. Even travel bans can't go there. But monsters can.

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SoberIRL | In Conversation wtih Karla Carolina

We spoke with SoberIRL founder Karla Carolina about her journey to sobriety and her realization about the role connection can play in helping people to maintain their alcohol-free lifestyle (and overall mental well-being).

How long have you been sober? Can you tell us a bit about yourself and your journey?

I celebrated 2 years on 12/31/20. I started drinking at 19 when I was studying abroad in college and knew I was a problematic drinker from the get-go. Binge drinking was normal in my circle of friends so even though I was blacking out and acting in ways I didn't like, they were too so it was normal. I also was getting great grades, got into a master’s program, and started my career so it was easy to rationalize away my fears that I had a problem. After 13 years and seeing how much my life was changing for the worse because of drinking, I finally accepted sobriety was the right choice for me.

What is the most important component to maintaining your sobriety and overall well-being?

Community is everything to me, which feels so odd because I felt very strongly against socializing with other sober people in the beginning. I was 8 months in when I started feeling lonely and mourned the loss of my party buddies. I decided to go to a sober retreat and holy guacamole — I felt myself come alive! I made deep connections with people I still talk to regularly. Having a network of people who get me, who understand what I've gone through, and don't judge me for it, is incredibly healing. I have people I can count on when I need some encouragement, need to vent, or want to celebrate. Essentially my real, true, authentic friendships keep me going.

What was the catalyst behind starting soberIRL? Did you ever struggle to be social without alcohol? If so, how have you worked to move past that?

When I went to a sober retreat at 8 months, I became friends with so many amazing people but they lived all over the country. I also made great connections with people I met through Instagram but they didn't live near me either. I struggled to find where I could meet other women locally who were also sober/sober-curious in a casual setting. Since I couldn't find it I decided to create what I wanted. I was equally part scared shitless and excited about the possibilities!

Alcohol had always been part of the equation when I socialized and the idea of meeting new people without it terrified me. What I learned at the sober retreat is: the awkwardness lasts for a short time and as long as you push past it, everything will be ok. Each time I put myself in a situation to socialize without alcohol it has gotten easier, like any other skill.

How has COVID affected your mission?

After doing 2 meetups pre-pandemic, I was heartbroken when we couldn't meet up anymore especially when IRL is part of the name! The coolest thing happened though — I started getting DMs and messages from people asking if we could just do virtual meetings in the meantime. By keeping the virtual meetups for local people, we were still able to foster our connections so when we could do social-distanced hangouts outside. We were so excited to be in each other's company!

COVID has also made me think through what virtual offerings I'd like to make permanent for soberIRL, especially for people with accessibility concerns or those who don't live nearby. A virtual community is still important and can bring lots of value to someone's life. I think after being cooped up for a year, people will want to socialize more than ever but also want to be very intentional about who and what they spend their time on.

What is your dream for soberIRL? How has it been going starting new chapters?

I want to get lofty with this, I'd love for soberIRL to be as ubiquitous as AA! For a long time, it's been the main resource people know, even if they don't have issues with alcohol. I am doing my part to co-create a world where people understand there are multiple pathways to recovery and they have the opportunity to choose what feels right for them. And for those who want to explore what it’s like to socialize and participate in life without alcohol, soberIRL will be there.

After a year of hosting meetups in San Francisco and sharing it with people through Instagram, I decided to partner with women to bring soberIRL to their local community. Right now my biggest challenge is spreading awareness that soberIRL is no longer just a Bay Area thing. I almost feel like I'm getting people set up to start their own franchise! It's been great as a forcing function to be very clear about the mission, vision, and vibe of the community.

What are some of your favorite sobriety resources? Products?

The resources I am forever grateful to:

Podcasts: Recovery Happy Hour and Recovery Elevator

Books: This Naked Mind by Annie Grace and Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whittaker

NA Drinks: CLEAN Cause, Curious Elixirs, Siren Shrubs

Places: Ocean Beach Cafe

What would you say to someone who might be sober-curious but afraid to take the leap?

You know where alcohol leads you, why not see where cutting it out for a bit takes you? Part of what kept me stuck was feeling I had to quit forever and to make that decision on Day 1. Because I couldn't commit to forever I kept drinking. You don't have to worry about forever right now.

The other thing I would say is...get first-hand experience of what sober life is like. Just imagining it (like I did for years!) is not sufficient. Immerse yourself in it. Read some quit lit, listen to podcasts, check out some blogs, and/or scroll through sober IG for inspiration — it will help you see people who are empowered by their sobriety, not ashamed of it.

What are some of your favorite quotes?

“I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was.” ― Sade Andria Zabala.

"I would rather go through life sober, believing I am an alcoholic, than go through life drunk, trying to convince myself that I am not" -unknown

You can learn more about SoberIRL, find a local chapter or sign-up for a virtual meet-up by reaching out on instagram or their website!

Arium Botanicals

Go here if: you are a collector or seeker of botanical curiosities no matter your existing knowledge about houseplants.

What is it: As much for plant lovers as curiosity seekers, Portland’s Arium has become known for its wide variety of different species and types of plants. In a city that has an abundance of plant stores and a fervent plant community, you’ll find here special interest and rare plants that you may not be familiar with or haven’t seen before, as well as the advice and information that makes you confident about taking them home (they may be unusual but that doesn’t necessarily make them hard to care for). 

Partners in business and life Anthony Sanchez and Tylor Rogers started Arium online before finding their forever home in a former Land Rover repair shop. They transformed the garage into a bright open space with white walls and a garage door that opens to let in the light, and brought in wall-to-wall foliage, with hanging displays, moss column growing plants, and greenery seemingly everywhere.

Why you’ll love it: We’re in the midst of a houseplant boom that’s been tied to social media posting millennials who understand the wellbeing benefits of bringing plants indoors: four in five 16 to 24-year-olds own at least one houseplant, with a fifth of plant owners buying them for their wellness benefits.  One-third of new gardeners are millennials.

With leaves of subtle colors or unusual shapes, decorative patterns, and broad textures, Arium steps into the space that owner Tyler Rogers grew through his own wildly popular Instagram account, @Urlocalplantboy. The space celebrates ornamental horticulture and searches out truly unique specimens while making them approachable, if not coveted.  

Each plant is given its botanical name, from the huge leaves of the Alocasia “Regal shield”, a sweet Ficus Altissima, and cork growing Hoya Obovata Mount. When you go there might be Begonia “Cracked Ice”, Philodendron “Pink Princess” and Alocasia “Silver Dragon”.

What you need to know: The name ‘arium’ is a play on terrarium (earth + container); here the store is given its Latin meaning: ‘a space or vessel that contains something’. It’s rather magical to think of Arium as the container of the green world owners Rogers and Sanchez have conceived to inhabit it.  

How to bring this into your life: Currently Arium is open to the public with COVID-care measures in place, though workshop programs, book signings, and events are not yet back up and running. Look out for announcements on social media for when they begin again. They also ship within the US. 

Why we think it's different: A vegan and queer-owned business, which the owners have declared a safe space for “all sexual orientations, gender identities, religions, and races” and that also takes its conservation standards seriously. Arium donates monthly to Conservation International and doesn’t stock plants on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species. All their plants are ethically sourced from certified U.S. nurseries, and they use their space to educate about plants that face extinction or habitat loss, condemning the poaching of plants or wild collection. Beyond horticulture, they also support the local creative community in Portland by stocking a selection of ceramics made by local makers.

In their own words: “We initially started Arium as a means of making unusual plants that can be implemented in design and in the home. We firmly believe there is a plant for everyone and that no question is dumb or illegitimate. Like us, we all started somewhere. Making our space welcoming, a place for learning, and geek out about plants. We are proud to be a space for beginners all the way to avid collectors.”

Something to do: Our plant parenthood journey started small – as many with a single succulent. Choose a plant that you love to cultivate and bring into your home (doesn’t have to be the celebrity Fiddle Leaf Fig). Build up your gardening muscle slowly. It's ok not to have a collection of 60, start with one and see how it makes you feel. Do you like owning a plant, do you like looking after it, does it make you feel good? If it's too much pressure, feel free to abandon your houseplant journey. But if it incites something positive, bring in plant number 2. 

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How creativity can improve your wellbeing during uncertain times and beyond

“Unused creativity is not benign. It metastasizes. It turns into grief, rage, judgment, sorrow, shame. We are creative beings. We are by nature creative.”

— Brené Brown

Creativity is an important aspect of life, but many people are currently struggling to feel creative. Months of isolation have left many of us feeling lonely and uninspired.

However, some people in the past and present have found that uncertainty and crisis can actually spark creativity and innovation. From trying new crafts like knitting to renovating your home, undertaking creative projects can help boost your mood, bring some joy during these difficult days, and also help you cope during periods of isolation, especially if you live alone.  

What is creativity?

Creativity can be channeled, honed, and expressed in tonnes of different ways, not just on canvas or through arts and crafts. It could be through a board game, party planning, or even coming up with solutions to a business problem.

Everyone is creative, but many of us choose to not explore, express or appreciate it, for a variety of reasons, so it goes down the pecking order of priorities and/or the benefits aren’t felt.

Sam had the perception for years that being creative involved painting a masterpiece, like Van Gogh, or writing and performing a song. Both of which he felt he couldn’t do; his creativity was locked in a box or didn't even exist. He’s now come to realise that creativity just needs an outlet that works for you, like many things in our lives. 

Similarly, when we think of creativity, many of us still think of painters and musicians, rather than architects, interior designers, warehouse managers, founders, accountants, and all the other people who need to be creative regularly and may not realise they are.

We’ve found that being more creative, however, you choose to access it, is a superpower that can positively impact your life and business. Don't forget - you are creative, it is in you just waiting to come out.

Being more creative boosts your mental health

Here are seven ways that creativity can help us negotiate uncertain times and get through periods of isolation.

1. Creativity reduces stress, anxiety, and mood disturbance

The pandemic has created a lot of doubt and uncertainty, and for many people, this can create feelings of negativity — but you can help mitigate this negativity by doing something creative. Whether you make something beautiful for yourself (such as a pair of earrings) or use your creativity to help someone else (for instance, you could help a small local business with advertising), this focus on doing something and bringing an idea to life will give you a sense of purpose and productivity — giving more meaning to your days in isolation.

The Connection Between Art, Healing, And Public Health — a Review of Current Literature (2010) concluded that “creative engagement can decrease anxiety, stress and mood disturbances.” Another study Everyday Creative Activity as a Path to Flourishing similarly concluded that engaging in a creative activity just once a day can lead to a more positive state of mind. 

[A creative activity can be simple, don’t worry. You may be doing it regularly already. It could be doodling in a journal, crafting, playing the guitar, redesigning your kitchen, or business planning. These are things everyone can do and just acknowledging it can give you a boost.] 

Back to the study. The results surprised the researcher Tamlin Conner, who didn’t think the findings would be so definitive. Conner said...“Research often yields complex, murky, or weak findings…But, these patterns were strong and straightforward: Doing creative things today predicts improvements in well-being tomorrow. Full stop.”

During the pandemic, your local council might offer creative workshops. For example, the creative sector in Bradford has come up with a host of creative ways for locals to improve their mental health; they are providing virtual classes for both adults and children, including drawing classes, yoga classes and writing classes.

2. Creativity Can Improve Your Personal Space

Lockdown created a whole host of DIY clichés and for good reason! Being stuck inside your house for months isn’t much fun, especially if you don’t find your home relaxing or pleasant — but up-cycling is an easy way to improve your surroundings.

From up-cycling old chairs to give them some personality, repainting some cupboards to breathe new life into them, or turning old cups and bowls into planters for flowers and shrubs this is a simple way to stay occupied (and it is also great for the environment!).

If you are looking for some upcycling inspiration, we can recommend these Instagram Accounts:

@maiseshouse for beautiful upcycle furniture inspiration

@restoringlansdowne  for moody interiors and Victorian home renovations

@linsdrabwell for some budget-friendly upcycle hacks

You can start small on something like a plant pot or a mirror and work your way up to something bigger.

This leads to another benefit of creativity; it gives us a feeling of pride, that "I did that, yeah, me”. It’s really nice spending an hour or more creating something, and then et voila. It’s done, it’s there, something that reflects your inner creativity and personality. An expression of you. It feels very empowering and never gets old.

3. Creativity Allows You To Connect With Other People – Close to Home & Around The Globe

Creativity allows you to connect with other people. One of the hardest things about isolation is limited socializing, but you don’t have to be creative alone. 

When lockdown first started, and we were on furlough when our studio M.Y.O had to close, we launched #createsolation. This was a series of almost daily challenges trying a new craft from macramé to string art and even fork calligraphy! This helped bring some structure to our days especially and keep us connecting with our audience and regular studio guests virtually. It was so great to see many guests try out the challenges we were doing and share their tips and creations with us.

There are now a whole range of classes that you can take online with friends, as well as hundreds of forums for specific creative interests (such as designing jewelry or knitting) that meet virtually. This allows you to connect with new people who have the same passion as you so that you can collaborate and have fun together. It also opens up borders enabling you to connect with people around the world, who you may not normally meet!

Closer to home, Sam has been sending his mum a range of creative kits from calligraphy to watercolours and even candlemaking for them to do together and to bring back her creative spark. She has been cocooning for a few months as a vulnerable person and having retired was looking for projects to keep her busy. It’s been amazing to see how much it has helped brighten her mood and give her a sense of achievement — from lino printing 50 Christmas cards to decorating her lampshade and upcycling her furniture, her creations have definitely inspired us!

Humans are social creatures, we crave company, connections, and being around other people. Social interactions are still a vital part of who we are — but it is possible to build connections virtually.

4. Creativity increases our sense of self-awareness and opens up expression

Dabbling in being creative produces an output, which is basically an expression of you  —  even if you don’t think it is! Over time and with a little practice, you can feel a lot more able to express yourself as you become more comfortable in yourself and the different techniques that you are drawn to.

5. Creativity can slow you down (in a good way) and give you an expanded sense of time

Time slows a little in the sense that your thoughts slow and it’s easier to stay focused on the task at hand and feel a little more present. This can be referred to as being in the flow.

Ever feel like your weeks are just absolutely flying by and you don’t know how and what you’ve done? Slowing that right down can really help, and arts and crafts can make that happen. Having such easy access to technology means our brains are constantly whirring, but not necessarily about the right things.

6. Creativity can help you think better

Experiments have shown that being creative, which can trigger mindfulness, boosts your general creativity as it can enhance your ability for divergent thinking — a thought process or method used to generate creative ideas by exploring many possible solutions. But, many of the qualities associated with convergent thinking are also enhanced by mindfulness. Convergent thinking is basically the opposite of divergent thinking. It generally means the ability to give the “correct” answer to standard questions that do not require significant creativity. Creativity helps with both.

7. Become a better problem solver

Short and sweet here. You can become a little more resourceful and creative with figuring things out, much like you need to be when creating something. Part of this comes from having more confidence to think creatively, as you will naturally think harder and come up with more possible solutions to problems, rather than latching onto the first two you think of.

There are so many times when very quick decisions are made on big challenges, without really looking for all possible solutions. When we can come up with more options, we can assess each one and decide on the one that increases our chance of success.

But how can I be creative?

We know that starting any creative practice can be intimidating, even when the benefits to us are increasingly evident. Here are a few ideas for getting you started on your creative adventure.

Start small

If you feel you are never creative, that’s fine. Maybe try it once this month and make a mental note of how you feel after. Try something you can quickly do like an adult colouring book, doodling, or painting by numbers. Do that a couple of times in the next few months, then maybe try more often… you may end up doing it daily  — but don’t put pressure on yourself to do that from the outset. Small, incremental changes can become habits.

From a creative thinking perspective, think back to times where you were creative. This will give you a confidence boost to do it more often when you are looking at challenges in life and business. There is always option a, b and c but what about option z?

Next time you have a challenge you need to overcome, write down ten possible solutions to it. You'll be surprised with what you come up with.

Start with someone else

We always find a bit of peer pressure helps and keeps you in check. Get a friend or colleague who you think would equally benefit from having a creative practice, explain the reasoning and get them on board — they don’t have to do it with you, it’s fine to do it solo, but at the least, they can check-in to see how it went, increasing the chances of you doing it! Try making something for each other or teasing out a life or business problem together.

Check out resources for creativity and find the ones that appeal

Our creative space for grown-ups has many classes (both online and off), you can check out our kits (and podcast!) on Creative Jungle and of course If Lost, Start Here has advice on where to go to seek out creativity. However, you start, make it something that works for you, whether that's pottery or welding... the options are huge. Go play.

So, stay creative, stay inspired, and make sure to regularly reach out to your loved ones for a chat whatever your creative life looks like.

Positive Wellbeing Zine for Mums

What is it?: An independent magazine for mums, that’s all about motherhood, wellbeing, and self-care. Though it's not just a 'magazine' — it’s also about bringing together a community of like-minded people to share their stories, their words of wisdom about topics related to motherhood, wellbeing, and self-care, and their support for other mums on their journey. Through its pages, this magazine shares the values of community, collaboration, and a sense of cheering each other on.

Why You'll Love It: The magazine came from my own experiences of motherhood and not being able to find a place where my needs as a mum were being addressed and so I created the space that I needed for other mums.

What It Offers: Isabella and Us has an online community, a Facebook group (Positivity Hub for Mums), a Podcast (Positive Wellbeing Podcast for Mums), and the magazine (Positive Wellbeing Zine for Mums).

What Makes It Different: The magazine is the only one of its kind currently being published with a community around it that supports mums.

What You Need to Know: Mums need the magazine right now to support them through this tough time and to support and encourage them to take time for themselves.

In Their Words: “Being a mum is tough and often so much of what we do, read and buy is for our little ones. A mum’s needs can often get put to the bottom of the pile but it’s so important that as a mum we take time for ourselves, time to recharge, and time to just be us. This is why the Positive Wellbeing Zine for Mums is so important."

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Cafes for Life

Although our equivalent of lockdown bread baking was making a half-decent latte, we’ve been missing cafes. Today we’re looking at a handful that give us a place to think about the world differently, whether that’s giving back to our communities, raising money for charities that matter, working to save our planet, or even redefining their role in mental wellness. As we’ve come to realize as we steam oat milk in our kitchens, there is more to cafes than the drinks they serve; they are the hubs that bring a neighborhood together and offer a framework in which to explore what matters in life.

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Pink Owl Coffee, Marin, CA

Before the pandemic, this was our place to head for early morning work meetings, chosen because of its friendly owners, great coffee, and cozy lounge. But the reason we’re including it here is the café’s mission to support breast cancer charities, with 10% of profits going to research and awareness initiatives. Founded by breast cancer survivor Saandra Bowlus and her partner Joe Carlo, the café puts its support front and center, from the name (the Owls are just because they like them), the pink inflected décor, and the savvy branding — as their new retail coffee bags say “Because breast cancer sucks”. When you buy their vanilla lavender oat milk latte made with the on-site roasted blend, or a mochi donut from Third Culture Bakery, or even a puppucino, you get to support a great cause too. Once the space reopens for inside coffee drinking, we recommend you seek out a spot by the fireplace or a window seat, grab a board game or a book on coffee, and settle down with a friend or listen to one of the live music sessions. A local with heart.

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Back of the Yards Coffeehouse, Chicago

A womyn and Latinx-owned community-focused coffee company established in 2016 based in the Back of the Yards neighborhood on the south side of Chicago. In one of the city’s most historic districts – many European immigrants came to work on the stockyards, which has most recently seen an influx of Mexican migrants – that has become associated in the news with gun violence, Marya Hernandez and Jesse Iniguez, who grew up in the neighborhood, wanted to establish a different narrative and new opportunities for locals. Working against a belief that “Mexicans don’t drink coffee” and in a place where independent coffee shops weren’t going, Back of the Yards Coffeehouse has become a popular spot – awarded the 2018 Time Out Chicago Love Award for Most Loved Coffee Place. Its drinks menu includes Cafe de olla (with cinnamon and spices), Ojo Rojo (a shot of espresso added to drip), and Café Con Leche. But it is how the cafe supports ethical coffee production and the neighborhood that makes it stand out: The café sources its beans directly from farmers including those in the Chiapas region paying a fair price, directs 95% of waste to compost, everything from coffee cups to used beans, and hires locally, training up interns to be fully qualified baristas. For each purchase of a bag of their 47th Street blend, Back in the Yards Coffeehouse gives $1 to a Social Impact Fund that works to support programs for peace and education in the neighborhood. And those red mugs on the wall, represent all the people who pulled together to make this cafe happen for the community.

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Trouble Coffee, San Francisco

We’ve written about how cafes have helped our own emotional wellbeing, but this Outer Sunset coffee shop was started 13 years ago to help the owner, Giulietta Carrelli, manage her own mental health. Many first came to Carrelli’s story on This American Life which relays how she founded the business to give her the order and routine she needed to manage her schizophrenia. Trouble Coffee reads like an autobiography, a stand-in for Carrelli herself, particularly its idiosyncratic menu which features cinnamon toast (for comfort and which is also attributed with starting San Francisco’s high-end toast craze), coconuts (for survival, containing everything needed for nourishment), and coffee (representing speed and communication). This tiny outpost by the ocean — which was created out of the driftwood found on the beach — also gave Carrelli the loose connections she needed to feel safe, to know that as people began to recognize her, she’d be known and understood within this community. Opening a coffee business is not a natural remedy for a mental health condition, but Trouble Coffee allowed Carrelli to make space for herself in ways she hadn’t been able to before and that saved her.  As Carrelli/ Trouble says, “trouble is not only a coffee co it is a community of people and power that kept me alive.”

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IXV, Brooklyn

In a city where, pre-pandemic, New Yorkers were going through 100,000 disposable coffee cups every half hour, IXV is the sustainably-minded coffee shop and brand that’s needed. It was founded by Jenny Cooper, former J.Crew/ crewcuts designer (the company is named after her grandfather) in the garage of her Boerum Hill, Brooklyn home, to make “life less trashy”. When she started just over a year ago, Cooper had a simple idea to bring sustainability and community together — making coffee for people in the neighborhood who could bring a mug to be filled and drop it off to be cleaned, with the cycle beginning again the next morning. Aiming for zero-waste, IXV encourages customers to bring their own cups (there’s a .25 cent charge for paper cups to cover composting and recycling charges), reduce waste and compost where possible (it’s all the detail here: cold drinks are served in algae lined paper cups which compost better than PLA compostable plastics). IXV also serves as a store with plastic-free household goods, ceramic espresso cups, and refillable hand sanitizer available,  a vintage clothing upcyler aiming to counter the environmental impacts of fast fashion through reworking preloved pieces, and a location for a CSA food box that supports local growers and makers, in this instance New York’s Norwich Meadows and givebacks via donations to a local shelter and soup kitchen ChiPS. IXV is giving locals a better way of getting their caffeine and a different model for how our neighborhood coffeeshops might operate. More widely it can inspire us all to carry our keep cups while adjusting daily habits that trash the environment.

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Tell us which cafes matter to you and could matter to other people too? Which cafes are helping our minds, our bodies, our communities and our planets function better? You can nominate them for our guide here.

Hackney Herbal

Go here if: you are curious about the potential for herbs and nature to impact your day-to-day life, you are looking for connection with others, or you are looking for strategies to improve your physical and mental wellbeing.

What is it: A social enterprise that promotes the wellbeing potential of herbs — growing them, cultivating them, using them as teas and remedies — founded in Hackney by Natalie Mady. Since its start in 2015, the community-minded business has gone on to collaborate with organizations such as Tate, Stella McCartney, and Kew Gardens.

What you need to know: From its garden space and studio, Hackney Herbal offers hands-on workshops that take a broad view of herbs – from practical skills that include how to grow and dry herbs for self-care purposes, and how to make herbal teas and remedies, to wider subjects like how to urban garden and how to connect with nature. Herbs here serve both as a practical remedy and a framework for thinking about our health and the environment

How to bring this into your life right now: Though Hackney Herbal is fundamentally about being together and working within nature, it has managed to put a selection of their workshops online. You can book classes in growing food on the windowsill, identifying wild herbs, and using essential oils for the mind. Also, they make handcrafted herbal tea blends from their own gardens and other organic growers that are available to buy, with profits funding initiatives that serve the local community.  

Why we think it matters: By booking a workshop or an event or purchasing their teas and products, you are also supporting free nature-based programs that apply the therapeutic benefits of herbs to communities who need them such as the 6-week Herbal Craft Course at the Center for Better Health, and mental health orientated classes at Recovery College and the local chapter of the charity Mind.

In their own words: “We connect people, plants and place to:

1. Share knowledge and skills relating to horticulture, food growing, and nature 

2. Inspire people on their own journeys with plants 

3. Nurture the health and resilience of people and the land in Hackney

We use nature-based activities to allow people to come together, share ideas and collaborate. We provide a preventative intervention to the onset of poor mental health as well as a pathway to recovery for those already suffering. Our key outcomes follow the themes of health, education and community resilience.”

Something to do from wherever you are: Can’t wait to get started, Hackney Herbal offers tons of advice on their website and social media channels about making herbal remedies and growing herbs at home, as well as downloadable seasonal journals full of recipes (like this on making a solar infused oil or this on making a body scrub from coffee grounds), sales of which support their mission of increasing access to green spaces in the borough of Hackney and helping people improve their physical and mental health through herbs.

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M.Y.O (Make Your Own)

Go here if: you’re wondering how to bring more creativity into your life, you are feeling lonely and looking for more connection, or you need to find a strategy for destressing, learned here, then taken home with your creation.

What is it: M.Y.O. (Make Your Own) is a space where grown-ups can play around with materials and making. The creative studio was launched in 2017 by Sam Lehane and Diana Muendo, both chartered accountants who were coming into their own creativity but could not find the environment that they needed to support their new interests.

Why you’ll love it: M.Y.O. gives you permission to be creative because Sam and Diana believe that everyone is. There’s no worrying about outcomes, or getting it wrong, or that you’re not really ‘Arty’ or an ‘Artist’. Just the space to explore and find the medium or practice that works for you.

What you need to know: Small classes take place in a two-level studio in Borough that has all the materials you could possibly imagine to get you making things and a space where it feels ok to get messy. There’s a huge variety of classes (refreshed every few months) on everything from watercolor painting to macrame plant hangers. Adults get a break from it all and a chance to explore arts and crafts skills without judgment or prior experience.

How to bring this into your life wherever you are: In parallel to the bricks-and-mortar space, M.Y.O. hosts a similarly wide array of virtual class options hosted with sister company Creative Jungle Co (which also offers Virtual Team Building with teams across the world).

Why we think it matters: The well-being benefits of creativity are becoming ever clearer (anyone who has picked up a watercolor brush or taken up baking in a lockdown can probably now attest to this). M.Y.O. is increasingly thinking about creativity in terms of how it helps us function in the world, helping reduce stress and loneliness. The classes offered by the studio give you an easy way into figuring out if creativity can have a place in your life and what shape that might take for you.

In their own words: “An art gym for your creative muscles.”

Something to do: You don’t need to be good at art to do it. You don’t have to make perfect pots to mold clay. All you need is the willingness to try, and an openness to seeing where it takes you. What would you try creatively if no one was watching and it’s really just for you? Start there.

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The Center for Fiction

What is it: For book lovers of all ages, whether those who love to read or those who love to write, The Center for Fiction celebrates fiction in all its stages, from first imaginings to beloved reads. Over 200-years after it was founded — originally as the Mercantile Library — the non-profit moved into its public-facing home in Brooklyn’s Cultural District in February 2019. Over 18,000 square feet across three floors, architects BKSK have created the conditions to make words come alive and to enter our lives in a multitude of ways.

Why you’ll love it: Browse the independent bookstore (with a focus on fiction, works in translation, and independent publishers), chat books in the café and terrace bar, attend workshops, events, writing groups, and seminars, or sit at a writing station to get down to the actual work of crafting your own story.

The Center is a living organization that grows both readers, from the youngest kids exposed to its workshops (see its Kids Read and Kids Write programs), and writers, from the earliest stages of their careers, such as the Emerging Writers Fellowship and First Novel Prize. Within its quote-strewn walls, books can be experienced at every point in their realization. 

What you need to know: The Center is also home to a circulating library of over 70,000 books focused entirely on fiction, including a prominent crime fiction collection that goes back to the early twentieth century.

How to bring this into your life: Recently retired Executive Director Noreen Tomassi started a bibliotherapy program, that is still going strong, called A Novel Approach, which prescribes a year’s worth of fiction reading depending on your situation, your interests, your longings.

Why we think it matters: Though books are read alone, often they come alive when experienced together. The Center pivots on this duality. It offers a place of solace and reflection, a retreat, or maybe just a pause, from the noise and encroachments of modern living. And it sets up the connections between readers, to not just enliven narratives through discussion but to offer an antidote to our loneliness, and a comfortable excursionon for introverts. Books can take us inwards while opening up our worlds. We can hold fiction in our minds, and those stories can have a life that exists in conversation. The Center for Fiction attests to the importance of making physical space in the world that supports our imaginary one, bringing people together over words that connect.

In their own words: “The Center for Fiction, founded in 1820 as the Mercantile Library, is the only organization in the United States devoted solely to the vital art of fiction. The mission of The Center for Fiction is to encourage people to read and value fiction and to support and celebrate its creation and enjoyment.” 

Something to inspire: How can you lift words off the page and live them in company, wherever you are? Seek out a writing community, a book club, an author’s talk, a book festival, an independent book store, a library. The Center is a one-stop-shop for the craft of fiction, but parse out its functions and you’ve got a version of your own making, slightly spread out but highly tailored to your world.

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A Calendar for When Life Starts Again (UK edition)

Events where we can gather together feel like a dream right now. We’re writing this in the winter lockdown. Festivals are still canceling for the year — including iconic Glastonbury and one of our featured places Do Wales. But over the past week, as new rules have become clearer and there are tentative dates moving forwards, we’re feeling cautiously optimistic, pulling out our calendar, thinking about how we might even fill some of those days with others.

Many of the festivals that we’ve come to associate with living a thoughtful life in the UK have been doing the same, announcing dates and line-ups and partnerships and glamping deals. They too are hoping to give us a break from screens, with non-zoom formats returning and in-person tickets selling fast.

We’ve pulled together the festivals that currently have dates next to their names, even if the format they are taking this year is still evolving. Of course, these might change — so check with the festivals themselves for the latest. We recommended using this list with this calendar from Marby & Elm that starts in April 2021, our hoped-for New New Year.

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July

1 to 4 | Love Trails | Nature, Mind & Body

Love Trails is the world’s first trail running + music festival. Set in the stunning Gower Peninsula it’s aimed at everyone with an interest in running, from those who have just discovered it as a salve for lockdown days to those who have goals that include marathons and races. Each day of the four-night festival features runs of different lengths (from 5k to 42k) and different themes (sunrise, beer, mindfulness – not together) hosted by running clubs from across the UK. Still, have some energy to burn? There are also activities like wild swimming, sea kayaking, paragliding, yoga, and pilates sessions to keep you moving. And this being a festival, the days are closed out with live music and dancing, a spot in the soothing hot tub to ease those tired muscles, and camping under the stars to sleep it all off, but you’re more likely to wake up to fellow festival-goers arising for sunrise runs rather than falling into ditches.

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16 to 18 July | Life Lessons Festival | Mental Wellness

A relatively new addition to the circuit, now in its second year, this thought-led wellness festival takes place this spring in the open-air setting of eighteenth-century Chiswick House. Over three days, smart thinkers will be applying their big ideas to our everyday lives. This is a festival that aims “to get to the heart of what it means to be human: finding meaning in life, creating better communities, living more sustainably, doing business better, and realizing more from society and politics.” You can build your own festival by choosing which of the six sessions over the weekend you are interested in attending. We’re looking to our favorites The Poetry Pharmacy applying words to healing, Bryony Gordon talking about her relationship with her own mental health, and Caitlin Moran updating us on her take on modern feminism.

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August

6 | Getahead Festival | Mental Wellbeing

Billed as the only 24-hour festival focusing on mental health and wellbeing, the Getahead Festival steps into a moment when many people have been struggling. As Co-founder and CEO Jenni Cochrane has stated: “We may have a vaccine for the pandemic, but there is no vaccine for the mental health crisis we’re facing.” Over the course of a long in-person day at the Omeara in London attendees will have the chance to recalibrate their approach to their own wellbeing. Sessions will include those on mental and physical health, with topics including body positivity and mindful drinking, as well as lectures on personal and professional development with much-needed talks on financial wellbeing and productivity. To lighten the mood, they’ll also be a sober rave, comedy, dancing, dog therapy cuddles, and a sleep retreat. The non-profit Getahead launched its first festival in London in 2018 with a 25-year mission to positively impact a billion people.

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5 to 8 | Wilderness Festival | Nature

Hot tubs, dodgeball, tug-of-war, dancing, river swimming, even a cricket game in the center of it all. After its 10th birthday year was canceled, this boutique festival is back this summer in the stunning setting of Cornbury Park, Oxfordshire — a 500 acres deer park and one of the only privately owned forests in southern England —  for all the summer fun to be had and a sense of joy that’s been much delayed. Over four days, you can book experiences across categories such as wellbeing, the outdoors, and dining, filling the long days with inspiring workshops and delicious food, and maybe longer nights with live music, DJs, and dance. 

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20 to 22 | Soul Circus Festival | Mind & Body Connection

A summer festival that puts wellness at the center but keeps the fun going, set in the beautiful Cotswold countryside. If Downward Facing Dog in the company of hundreds and an openness to all things wellness is your thing, then this is the Summer weekender for you. Who needs wellies and stumbling drunk into tents when you can have tipis full of meditation, breathe work sessions from GOOP superheroes, and yoga to Beyonce (as in played not present). Don’t worry there are still cocktails to be had, comedy for life-affirming belly-laughs, and serious dancing in the evening (Goldie and Norman Jay MBE have attended previous years).

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27 to 29 | The Big Feastival | Connection

A village fete supersized that takes place on Alex James (Blur’s bassist) farm in the Cotswolds, this year supporting the work of charity partners The Flying Seagull Project and Magic Breakfast. It’s a uniquely family-orientated festival, where music shares billing with food; performances, and family silent discos in the evenings following days of workshops with Michelin starred chefs and hands-on cooking sessions. A vintage funfair and an on-site farm, as well as a BBC Introducing stage, brings the magic to all ages for a summer weekend of being in the moment, a Hawaiian poke bowl in hand. 

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27 to 30 | The Byline Festival | Awe & Wonder

Now entering its fourth year, The Byline Festival takes place on Pipingford Park Manor in East Sussex and bills itself as “a festival with a social, environmental and moral conscience. not just a shopping mall in a field.” Founded in 2017 by Stephen Colegrave and Peter Jukes, the executive editors of the sister organization Byline Times with a focus on the future of journalism, free speech, and the issues of the day, it also includes literary events, music, and comedy. This year’s festival will take you further into the forests with events from Lowkey, Tokyo Taboo, The Human Library, Hardeep Singh Kohli, The House of Comedy, and partners Frontline Club.

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September

17 to 19 | The Good Life Experience | Untethering

Though The Good Life Experience is canceled, a more intimate version, Camp Good Life, is going ahead in September. It promises to have all the same elements that we’ve come to associate with its usual outing but reimagined for our current times.

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25 | VERVE Festival | Mind & Body Connection

There have been some changes this year to the weekend wellness reset located in an area of outstanding natural beauty within the Wiltshire countryside. Now taking place over just one day and in a new location at Pyt House Kitchen Garden, it will keep its focus on health, exercise, and nature, with group yoga and pilates, lifestyle workshops and meditation sessions, forest bathing, and farm runs; something you might love already, and some new discoveries to try. Don’t worry, you don’t need to be a wellness warrior to attend, as VERVE caters to all levels, including families (who get to do bushcraft and foraging). Co-founded by Anna Hayward and Charlotte Cummings, VERVE prides itself on being sustainable – it’s a zero-waste festival and works with local food and drink suppliers to reduce food miles where possible. 

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Many of these festivals are now on our post-pandemic bucket list; we’re definitely finding that future thinking is keeping us hopeful. But these are just a handful of festivals that we’re looking forward to, for more connection, nature, wellness, and wonder later in our year. Let us know where we’ve missed. What are the places on your future festival list? Where are you longing to attend to bring more togetherness in the shape of a long weekend of out of our house fun?

Rochester Brainery

Go here if: you’re a seeker, of knowledge, skills, experiences, and connections.

What is it: A community classroom and event space in Rochester’s Neighborhood of the Arts founded by local Danielle Raymo.

Why you’ll love it: Rochester Brainery is a classroom driven by curiosity. Since it launched in 2013, it has hosted over 2500 classes. Before the pandemic, 70-80 classes were being held each month. Subjects are not limited but roam widely across interests from hand lettering to cocktail making, improvisation to mindfulness. Many of the lessons are co-created with local community partners, makers, artists, authors, and entrepreneurs reflecting everything and anything that someone would want to teach and someone would want to learn.

How to bring this into your life from wherever you are: At the time of writing the Rochester Brainery is open for in-person classes – a Shibori dye workshop, a History Happy Hour, and blacksmithing caught our eye. Outdoor classes have been added with popular geology field trips planned for the spring. If you are based outside the area, the Rochester Brainery is also offering its classes on zoom – a business development class for makers and creatives, and macaroon making looked particularly interesting and fun. 

Why we think it matters: Learning sustains us, connecting to new subjects can expand our days, whether that is picking up a new skill or finding a life-long passion. Often as grown-ups, we forget this impulse for discovery; if we follow our curiosity it can be into the rabbit holes of scrolling, rather than meaningful searches in our analog lives. The Rochester Brainery makes it ok to learn again, to connect with subjects that just pique our interest, from history to cooking, and to make space for pursuing something just because we want to. It does so by bringing people together to share new experiences, enabling connections beyond the material and to those with one other. Within this classroom, new friendships have evolved, new business concepts tested (in events and pop-ups), and a community educated in what makes life most important, the people we get to share it with.  

In their own words: “Learn from local authors, actors, artists, chefs, graphic designers, distillers, and more who share their smarts in single and multi-session classes.”

Something to try: Push your learning boundaries. We tend to sit within the subjects we feel comfortable with: maybe it's psychology for you, maybe it’s the arts. We may find it hard to wander into a different section of the bookstore, a different theme in podcasts, a different field to our own. Look outside of your world, try on another one. Even if just for a moment. The awe and wonder that can come with being somewhere else, might make it ok to be wherever you are again.

Photo: Rachel Liz Photography

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London Terrariums

Go here if: space and time for gardening is limited but your interest in it isn’t 

What is it: London’s first terrarium shop and studio in New Cross Gate is an entry into these magical ecosystems under glass.

What you need to know: London Terrariums was started by Emma Sibley in 2014, just before the houseplant movement really took off and potted plants went from dusty in the corner relics to central pieces in interior design. Ever since, attendees to the terrarium workshops, visitors to the brightly colored store which stocks bespoke creations and gardening tools, and clients from the V&A to The Hoxton Hotel, have become enraptured with these tiny self-sustaining worlds (the plants photosynthesize in the enclosed space, living off the condensation so there’s no need for watering). The practice of terrarium making and design stretches back to the Victorian era, and though particularly popular in the 1960s, it fell out of favor. Until now, when we’re looking for ways to reconnect with nature, to bring more of the outside into our lives, and to nurture something beyond ourselves.

What they offer (online and off): During current closed times, you can purchase a terrarium kit or attend an online workshop for at-home terrarium making. If you love subscriptions, check out their London Terrariums Plant Club for a monthly dose of greenery. LT ‘s bespoke terrariums can also be bought on the site if you are looking for a ready-made one.

Why we think it's special: As our awareness of the benefits of plants – for our mental wellbeing, productivity, and creative inspiration as well as the air quality in our homes – is increasing, making sure that everyone has access to green spaces matters more than ever. And yet the realities of urban lives often translate to no gardens, small spaces in which to live, and little time, distancing us from the natural world even more. Terrariums though striking are low maintenance taking up little space and fitting small apartments and overscheduled lives. As we’re also able to shape them ourselves, we have the added benefit of working with our hands and the pride that comes with making something. Creating terrariums gets our fingers muddy as we figure out designs with moss, orchids, and succulents within glass containers that range from huge carboys to quirky domes. As Emma has said: “ “It’s horticultural therapy. Working with the soil and the plants is meditative and calming.” They become objects of creation and reflection.

In their own words: “Terra- Meaning Earth. Arium- A suffix denoting a place. This is is the basics of what a terrarium is, we are creating a landscape protected from the outside elements, in which the plants and minerals used can interact and grow as if they are in their natural ecosystems.”

Something to inspire: Our relationship with nature doesn’t have to be monumental – like planting millennial forests – but can be realized as tiny worlds set on kitchen counters that make us smile as we pass them. House plants give us tiny ways for nature to take up space in our lives and for us to cultivate something beyond ourselves.

Additionally, try: Prick | Pilea

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Sidewalk Talk

Seek this out if: you want to refine your listening skills or just feel listened to.

What is it: A community-listening project, Sidewalk Talk offers a place of belonging within everyday surroundings. Just pull up a chair for the chance to be heard or volunteer to be the one listening. Connection doesn’t have to be complicated. It can happen right here in the streets around us by people who want to be there for us.

What you need to know: When San Francisco-based psychotherapist Traci Ruble noticed a surge in gun violence in her neighborhood, as well as increasing disengagement from each other due to tech and politics, she wondered whether she could place her therapist’s chair on the sidewalk and just listen. Curious about what was happening to society, Traci invited 28 psychotherapists to set up “listening chairs’ around the city, giving people an opportunity to just talk, to share their stories, to feel heard, and to find a connection. That was in 2015. Sidewalk Talk has since grown into a global movement and is now a non-profit operating in over 50 cities and in 15 countries, with over 8000 volunteers. 

What they offer online and off: Sidewalk Talk is driven by its volunteers, 50% of whom have a background in therapy, though that’s not essential. Find out how to be trained as a listener or how to start your own chapter. Traci also hosts a podcast, Sidewalk Talk with invited guests discussing the breadth of issues creating loneliness and impacting our emotional wellbeing today.

New for 2021: The consequences of the pandemic – the stay-at-home orders, the focus on home at the expense of everything else, the pressures piling on – have strained some of our relationships like never before. Traci is also now offering a 12-week couples listening skills community, which is science-based, three-year tested, and heart-centered. 

Why we think it’s special: In a moment when face-to-face contact has us feeling like we’re breaking rules or under threat, we’re looking forward to the time when that in-person piece is restored in our worlds. Sidewalk Talk recognizes the power of connection, how human it is just being together and how important it is just to feel heard. The organization also offers a much-needed counterpoint to the narrative that we need to do everything alone, including wellness, that being with each other, helping each other through, offers ways forward that going more and more inwards doesn’t. We need more kindness, more support, more togetherness; Sidewalk Talk steps into the “empathy deserts” we’re now living in and creates space for belonging and connection. 

In their own words. “The world loves to talk - but words aren't enough. Listening helps people open up, share more, and reconnect in an increasingly lonely world.  At Sidewalk Talk, our mission is to create communities of listeners who return to the same public spaces to practice heart-centered listening all over the world.”

More of a reflection: Learn to listen, not to fix, or give advice, or make sure someone knows absolutely what’s on your mind too. Learn to hear what someone is saying, reflect back to them the ways in which you understand, and be with them without judgment or preconceived direction. We’ve almost forgotten how to allow space for someone else and to show up to relationships with kindness. A language of listening can be learned, just as much as social media algorithms or cultural trends. Start with being aware of how you can listen better today. Then keep going, actively building positive relationships of trust and support.

The Freud Museum

Go here if: you ever wondered why we go to therapy.

What is it: The Hampstead home, now museum, of the founder of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud and his daughter, pioneering child psychoanalyst, Anna.

What you need to know: Though Freud spent most of his life in his beloved Vienna, he was forced to flee to England ahead of the Second World War. He was to spend only one year in London before his death in 1939, but he brought to his new home an outstanding collection of over 2000 antiquities, objects, and books as well as his famous couch. These remain on display in the Queen Anne property; his treatment room and library veritably untouched. The Viennese apartment that he left behind was similarly transformed into a museum dedicated to Freud and recently underwent a four million Euro makeover, but here the driving theme, with its empty rooms, is one of absence and exile.

What they offer online and off: During closed times, you can still take a virtual tour of the museum, or attend a talk, event, or workshop such as one on the psychological effects of racism or another on attachment, desire, and chemical distractions. Also, a new podcast Freud in Focus, presented by Tom DeRose and Jamie Ruers, takes a close look at some of Freud’s texts.

Why we think it matters: Although much of Freud’s work has been contested, his impact on the way in which we continue to approach our mental health is enduring. The museum strives to keep his legacy relevant with a recent exhibition on melancholia that included UCL’s Psychoanalysis Unit and the current exhibition “1920/2020: Freud and Pandemic” makes connections between the current moment in which we’re living, and Freud’s own time when he published his seminal (and somewhat controversial) Beyond the Pleasure Principle and Other Writings and his own daughter Sophie died of the Spanish flu. The Museum has also commissioned contemporary artists such as Sophie Calle, Louise Bourgeois, and Mark Wallinger to create temporary pieces placed within the museum, giving Freud’s work, and that of his daughter Anna, new meanings.

In their own words: “The Freud Museum exists to promote the intellectual and cultural legacies of Sigmund and Anna Freud for the learning and enjoyment of all. While caring for the house and collections, we aim to highlight the relevance of Sigmund Freud, Anna Freud and psychoanalysis in the contemporary world.”

Something for now: Therapy curious? Explore podcasts, TV shows, and books that approach the practice of therapy in an open way. Therapy ready? We’ve pulled together some modern-day resources that are rethinking how we access the talking cure — now at some distance from Freud’s early treatments —and bring it into our modern lives.

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How therapy is being redesigned for modern times

Finding a therapist can be difficult, particularly in a moment when people are feeling most anxious or lost. Figuring out who to see, and then checking in with yourself about whether they are the right fit, can feel bewildering, even exhausting.

We’ve been there: looking over lists of names, arranging the first meet-up, wondering whether something was off in your relationship or whether it was just your material, ending an ill-fitting arrangement, and then having the energy to find someone new to work with. Many times we gave up until the issue that pushed us to seek therapy could no longer go unheeded and we tried again. We knew when we’d found the right therapist, we knew who we wanted to work with, but there were some dead-ends and frustrations on the way there.

Often it's exactly this match-making piece that is the barrier to entry for someone seeking help. There are others — around cost, cultural sensitivity, access, and belief systems — but here we’re going to focus on how you can find the right therapist and how they can find you. Over the last few years entrepreneurs, mental health practitioners, and even the tech industry have noticed this issue too. Below we’ve pulled together some of the new services that have been emerging, ones designed to get you to the right person when you most need it, and in ways that feel very different to what has gone before.

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Frame, Los Angeles

“Therapy looks different on everyone. We help you find your fit.”

Based out of Los Angeles, recent start-up Frame is approaching therapy with a modern consumer in mind. Forbes has called it the Bumble of Therapy. Long-time friends and founders Kendall Bird, a tech marketer, and Sage Grazer, a licensed clinical therapist, launched Frame to both serve the therapy-curious and the therapists themselves. Frame matches people with therapists through an algorithm, asking ten questions to best identify the six therapists that they could work with. These matches then each offer an introductory session. There’s no wasted money or awkward endings as you try to find the right person to work with. Frame is also currently offering digital workshops for the therapy-shy or for people who aren’t quite ready to commit to the one-on-one work of the therapeutic relationship. For therapists, Frame figures out all the back-end stuff too (therapists are effectively small business owners) — like billing and appointments, which in turn helps clients (who wants to take out cash and calendars at the end of a session?). Currently based in Los Angeles, Bird and Grazer plan to expand the service to San Francisco, New York, and Chicago within the next year.

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Alma, New York

“Alma makes it easy to find high quality, affordable mental health care.”

New York-based Alma, approaches modern therapy from a completely different angle, that of the therapist. As founder Dr. Harry Ritter has said, “Great therapists need to be taken care of too.” Alma’s first space opened in 2018 in Manhatten’s midtown as a co-practicing space — or what CNN has called “WeWork for therapists” — providing a carefully designed environment in which mental health professionals – which also includes acupuncturists and nutritionists — can practice, a community in which their own learning and wellbeing is supported, and a suite of digital tools to make the business side of things easier. But the experience on the client-side is similarly thought through. Alma offers a searchable — including in terms such as race, ethnicity, gender, and sexuality — of its member therapists and a Client match-making team for more advice on finding the right person. Alma’s space is also not the environment of your typical therapy session with meditation stations in the lobby that offer Headspace while you wait for your appointment, check-in on iPad stations, chairs carefully positioned so clients can feel comfortable seated next to one each other, and a member’s library of books for browsing. Each therapy room also shares identical décor to make the experience consistent should sessions need to move spaces. Venture capitalist funded, named one of the most innovative companies of 2019 by FastCo, and with Ester Perel as a clinical adviser, Alma is in the process of expanding nationally. See their announcements for further cities in the US. 

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Black Female Therapists, USA

“Black Female Therapists (BFT) is the #1 lifestyle and empowerment platform for women of color.”

After Licensed Professional Counsellor Amber Dee struggled to find a therapist for herself, she established Black Female Therapists as a safe space to support the work of other black female therapists and to create a positive site for exploring mental health, self-care, and #blackgirlmagic for women of color more widely. The resulting Directory connects people across the US with therapists of color for both in-person and online sessions. It’s searchable in terms that include specialty, insurance, and Loveland coupons. With its focus on positivity and cultural sensitivity, BFT goes beyond just therapy though to include a range of wellbeing resources that aim to break the stigma around the practice of therapy within the black community. By promoting tools for thinking about mental wellness including the podcast 15 Minutes on the Couch, a daily affirmation service, and weekly classes, BFT also helps those not quite ready for therapy but in need of support through their everyday lives.

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Additionally, try:

Octave

San Francisco and New York. The Silicon Valley funded one.

Kip Therapy

New York. Specializes in gender, sexual and racial issues

Real

Online while NY space on hold.“The Wing of mental health”

You can also check out our conversation with San Francisco-based Two Chairs and our feature on Therapy for Black Girls.

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As we’re all about the face-to-face, we’ve favored the in-person piece here, but there’s also a handful of digital therapy resources to explore like Talk Space, The Circle Line, Wysa and Mindler (now in the UK).

We’d love to hear your experiences of finding therapy online or off. Have you tried the new digital platforms or found someone to work with in analog spaces?. Let us know your experiences, what you’ve loved, what you haven’t, how things have improved, and what’s still missing. And if there are other resources that you’ve been turning to, tell us about those too, so we can include them in our guide for life and share with others who need them too.

The person who can help you is out there. Hopefully, these resources will help you find them.

Refettorio Felix

What is it: The community magic that can happen when a three-star Michelin chef solves for issues of food waste, food insecurity, and social isolation through great food, compassionate design, and human dignity. Refettorio Felix takes London’s food surplus and turns it into meals for the vulnerable prepared by local chefs, bringing people together in community over a shared meal served in comfortable surroundings.

What you need to know: In 2017, renowned chef Massimo Bottura – his Moderna restaurant Osteria Francescana was named the world’s best – brought his innovative non-profit Food for Soul to St Cuthberts Centre, a 30-year old charity serving those experiencing mental health issues and homelessness, aging populations and the vulnerable in the community. Building on the impacts of Refettorio Paris and Refettorio Gastromotiva in Rio de Janeiro, in London Bottura teamed up with The Felix Project, a charity that saves food that can’t be sold — in date, good quality ingredients from national supermarkets — and delivers it to those in need.

As with his other projects, Bottura realized that the context mattered too. For Refettorio Felix he commissioned Ilse Crawford, a designer sensitive to the wellbeing impacts of the environments that she creates, to transform St Cuthbert’s space. Her brief: “to make it beautiful, a universal pleasure that is often missing from social projects”. The resulting dining area facilitates connection and closeness, with reading areas, low hanging light fixtures, and darker toned walls. Swiss furniture company Vitra donated the chairs. 

How to bring this into your life: Refettorio Felix is very much active through the pandemic, serving meals and hot drinks. If you are local you can volunteer to support their ongoing work.

Why we think it matters: There are an estimated 8.4 million (12%) adults living in households with insufficient access to food. And yet, in the UK annually 10,000 tonnes of food is wasted (that figure is closer to 1.6 billion tons worldwide). These figures are pre-covid and have only gotten worse. Before the virus, the project served 75-80 people a day, in the early days of the pandemic that went up to 300 meals.  

Refettorio Felix steps right into the gap between food insecurity and food waste, but it does so in ways that treat people with care and dignity. The conversations made over meals, the feeling of support of a safe environment, become as important as the social inequalities it hopes to alleviate. After a meal, people can stay – for therapeutic counseling, creative workshops, and even laundry services. 

In their own words: “We sustain and support vulnerable people with positive and warm therapeutic services to accomplish our charity’s objectives of relieving poverty, hardship, sickness and distress. Our impact is grounded in the power of a shared meal of outstanding quality made with 100% surplus food.”

Something to do: If you are able, start to help alleviate food insecurity from your home – from reducing the meat you consume and the food you waste to supporting your local food bank and supporting school meal programs.

Additionally, support: Emma’s Torch | Social Bite | Brigade Bar + Kitchen | Luminary Bakery

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Book-ish

“Reading gives us somewhere to go, when we have to stay where we are.”

What is it: An award-winning bookstore – Independent Bookshop of the Year Award 2020 — situated in an award-winning town — Crickhowell officially has one of Britain’s best High Streets, Book-ish was founded by an award-winning local high street hero Emma Corfield-Walters in 2010. Likes all good bookstores there’s a person behind it who believes in its capacity to be the heart of a community.

What you need to know: When the pandemic closed the store, Corfield-Walters (aka Mrs. Bookish) quickly got together with the female-founders of three other leading independent bookstores —  Helen Stanton from Forum Books, Carrie Morris from Booka Bookshop, and Sue Porter from Linghams Booksellers — to start 4Indies, an online space that hosts author events for at home times.

How to bring this into your life: Book-ish has one of the widest range of book clubs that we’ve seen, including The Throw Away Your Television Society that delves into ever-changing themes, and The Underground for teen readers. You can sign up for a subscription service, with a book pick — non-fiction, fiction, poetry, picture book — sent out each month. (One option includes a monthly candle). Book-ish still runs an active online events calendar for when in-person is on hold.

Why we think it matters: Our favorite bookstores are those that go beyond books into the lives of our communities, enriching not only our minds and imaginations but also the relationships that bind us together. During non-pandemic times, the bookshop, with its bar, café, and events space, is a critical place to come together, to chat, to make space for ourselves. But its work goes outwards too. Corfield-Walters is a local advocate, bringing books into schools, hosting pop-ups at local festivals such as Green Man and HowTheLightsGetIn (when they are running), and serving as the co-director of the Crickhowell Literary Festival. She’s also an active supporter of community-building campaigns like Totally Locally, Fair Tax Town, and the community Corn Exchange Program. Book-ish makes space for books, but it also makes space for the people who love them too.

What next: If your pandemic fatigue now comes with reading fatigue, seek out Corfield-Walters’ recommendation to get you back to books: My Sister The Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite for “its short chapters and wickedly dark characters”.

To find out more: Website / Instagram / Facebook / Twitter

Additionally, try: Mr. B’s Emporium of Reading Delights / Pages of Hackney

The Museum of Broken Relationships

Go here if: you didn’t live happily ever after.

What is it: When love stories end, we tend to purge our lives of our former partners. We burn letters, destroy souvenirs, throw away the detritus of our lives together. The Museum of Broken Relationships exists to provide an alternative, preserving objects that hold memories of our once beloveds. It holds a collection assembled entirely from mementos from broken relationships that still mean something to someone and that have lasted beyond the relationships that they eulogize. 

What you need to know: The Museum started over a decade ago as a slightly quirky art installation by former couple visual artist Dražen Grubišić and film producer Olinka Vištica. As they were dismantling their own four-year relationship, they realized that they had objects that told their story, that held traces of their relationship, and nowhere to put them. Grubišić and Vištica gathered some of these together with similar objects from their friends, and curated an exhibition that could tell their love stories and serve as a testament that though over, these moments in time existed, they mattered.

Capturing a collective emotional nerve, the Museum of Broken Relationships has evolved into a permanent museum in Zagreb, where it opened in 2010. It now has over 3600 objects in its collection. Another venue in Los Angeles is temporarily closed. The Museum continues to travel internationally — with 58 previous iterations to date across the world including recent displays in New Zealand, Canada, Japan, and Romania

Why you’ll love it: The Zagreb museum will take you through thematic displays that chart emotions associated with a breakup. Its displays offer a fascinating walkthrough of others’ relationships, exploring what lingers at the end of a breakup through the physical objects that capture experiences of the lovelorn: An iron used on a wedding suit, the marriage’s only relic. A scab, from a literal wound. A love letter from a 13-year old to his first love, written when fleeing war-torn Sarajevo. A toaster (Colorado, 2006-10) taken on moving out –“How are you going to toast anything now?’ Not all relationships are of the unrequited kind. Next to a pile of Werther’s Originals is the caption, “I got these for you, but you died first.”

How to bring this into your life wherever you are: The online space exists very much in tandem with the offline one, with a virtual collection of personal objects that tell the stories of lost love. You can still donate your own items and tell your own story. A book inspired by the museum shares a similar emotional journey through people’s relationship souvenirs. If you make it to Zagreb, you can visit the Brokenships Café for emotional eating. Not a possibility, watch The Broken Hearts Gallery movie inspired by the same idea.

Why we think it’s special: The pain at the end of a relationship can make us feel singularly alone. We can feel like the only ones who have ever experienced the rejection, hurt, and frustrations that this moment can bring. But the Museum of Broken Relationships with its collection of stories shows us that relationships end for all of us, however that happens. We’ve all been down that road, or close to there. Reading these captions offers comfort; these objects bear witness to our stories, allowing us to realize that even in this, we are not alone.

Unusually for a museum, the Museum of Broken Relationships sits in parallel with our everyday lives; its existence shifts what a museum can be. The Museum of Broken Relationships more closely reflects the actuality of our personal lives, the messiness of our emotions, the randomness of the things we come to value and those we come to love and will one day let go.

In their own words: “Museum of Broken Relationships is a physical and virtual public space created with the sole purpose of treasuring and sharing your heartbreak stories and symbolic possessions. It is a museum about you, about us, about the ways we love and lose.”

Something not to do: We’ve deleted all the emails, torn all the notes, obliterated from our lives all remnants of past loves, and just occasionally we’ve come to regret it. Yes, the choice of our younger selves to destroy all reminders made absolute sense. It was a ritual that could help ease any ending, but did we erase something of our narrative as well? Sometimes we’d like a glimpse of who that person was we fell so heavily for, and who we were when we did that. Moments that we could have captured in time through random stuff, and held onto as treasured, even if the person involved in those memories is no longer with us. 

To find out more: Website / Instagram / Facebook / Twitter

See also: Love Stories Museum / Museum of Failure

When Friendship Saves Us (Part 3): Our Take on Modern Love

I imagine getting comfortable before take-off on the plane back to England. Putting electronics in flight mode. Fastening my kids’ seat belts. Looking over the in-flight entertainment options with my husband. And then fleeing down the aisle. Stop, wait, don’t close the doors. Then running, running through the airport, the soundtrack kicking in, grabbing a taxi (after someone steals the one I want), to get to her. Amanda. Like the last scene in the romantic comedy, but this time I’m running to my best friend, and like a movie, I know that this is a fiction too.

Watching the end of Book Smart recently, I had a thrill of recognition. About to leave on a gap year to Africa, Amy comes back from Departures to her best friend Molly, for one last pancake, before getting on the flight late. I texted Amanda, “That’s us!!!” And although we’ve never eaten pancakes together and despite the fact that I arrive at the airport three hours in advance and couldn’t possibly be late, we thought that sounded about right. 

In my final weeks in California before returning home after 13 years away, I seek out time with Amanda. She overrides my not-yet-filled bucket list. I choose her over the Golden Gate Bridge, over Napa wineries, over Stinson Beach sunsets. I choose barista-style coffee made by her 11-year-old, socially distanced in her garden, over Blue Bottle pulled by hipsters in San Francisco’s Ferry Building. I choose meeting her down by the creek in our little town over a road trip to Lake Tahoe, crossing stepping-stones over a quiet stream rather than riding jet-skis on alpine-fed horizons. In our last days together, I’m aware of making the promises a teenage girl would make to a best friend. “I will love you forever, we will grow old together, our kids will be best friends always.” But this time I mean them with the sincerity of a middle-aged woman who knows what commitment is and what true love can be.

When I met Amanda, the friendship that was designed to blossom was between our sons, both aged five and about to enter the same kindergarten class. It was a practical arrangement and it resulted in the connection we’d hope for our boys. But it was the two of us—with our new baby girls in slings and relentless nursing habits—who found a friendship neither knew we needed. For my daughter Ottilie, now aged 6, Amanda has become her second mum, though she calls her ‘Grandma,’ which befuddles us. Amanda’s daughter Willa is of course her sister-friend and they fight and love each other accordingly. Six years later our sons are like cousins, affectionate but sometimes confused by what connects them, aware only that it has something to do with family. My husband calls Amanda my real partner; she calls herself his wife’s wife.

I’d seen Amanda around town before that first blind playdate. I saw her when she toured the preschool where my son went, but she was Nikki’s friend, unattainably beautiful, and she chose not to go there, so our relationship never began. I saw her again when I was playing in the park and she was walking by, in labor, with her mum. To me, several months pregnant and puking every day, terrified of childbirth and ready to check myself into hospital weeks in advance in case something happened, she seemed a nonchalant goddess who would drop the baby and make magic happen. I felt fumbling and unsure, she looked resolute and dreamy. 

In that unexpected way of life, it was Amanda that I would come to share the next years with. We would raise our girls and our boys together—navigating schools and relationships, work and shifting bodies. She taught me how to text with emojis: “It hurts my feelings when you don’t use them.” I learned that nature wasn’t terrifying and that hiking a trail alone did not mean instant murder. She showed me that kind could also mean strong, that humor didn’t need sarcasm, that the fears I had, she had too. I became vegetarian, because she’s vegan and I can get closer to that (though not quite that far). I know now that maple syrup makes everything taste better. I’ve become an unembarrassed fan of all things Disney. She sends me texts at night that I answer in the morning, because I go to bed early and she seems unoffended by that. She takes me to concerts, though live music makes me feel awkward; it’s her happy place and she wants to share it. We tell each other that “we are amazing,” without irony and with joy. Amanda was the first person I hugged post-lockdown.

In our last couple of weeks together during this odd coronavirus-threaded summer, I tread carefully in conversations about home. My husband and I had long contemplated the move back to England after too many trips home ended in tears at Heathrow. My best friend and I had known this was coming; it hung around us like a diagnosis we tried to put aside and that we often forgot. In what we thought would be our last year in San Francisco, the pandemic put paid to our plans and Amanda and I relaxed again into our time together. I realized that I could endure everything that lockdown had removed, except seeing her. That realization hit hard. Then my husband lost his job in the theater, which meant we had nothing to tie us to California. The decision to return home came quickly and forcefully. Moving back to England took on an urgency that neither of us has been prepared for and that I can’t ignore, much as I want to. We’re now down to three weeks and counting, no longer in the maybes and perhapses that chased our time together.

Together yesterday—the girls on the trampoline, the boys wondering what shared activity they could find—I try not to flinch when Amanda mentions a new friend she’s taking daily walks with. Past my house, up through the winding paths of our hill. I imagine them walking by when new people are here in my newly-sold home, saying, “I knew someone who lived there once.” I start to cultivate bruises of loss. But Amanda has taught me in our years together that love is boundless, to be shared. I allow myself to be the better person she believes me to be. “I like Hilary,” I say, “That sounds nice.”

Because I know this too. We are golden: she’s my Anne Parker, my Christina Yang, my Abby Wambach, my Rayya, my Farly, my person. Like women before me, I love my best friend. We have filled a space, begun a story, that women have navigated for centuries: Bringing up children together, finding support through our anxieties, spending hours in whispers and laughs. Making the in-between times count for more than the major moments of our lives.

Sitting on a packed suitcase in what will be my old bedroom with too many things that don’t fit and yet have nowhere to go, I hesitate. Why leave? But I know there is nothing I can do to stay here, in this moment, with her.

I have chosen: my home country that I left when I was 30. I will return there with two children whom I want to experience that home too. I’ve chosen grandparents and brothers and cousins that I’ve never quite learned to live without. I’ve chosen green fields and cozy pubs and heavy coats and clearer seasons and self-deprecating humor and supermarket shelves speak my language. 

On paper, the  decision makes sense. The conversations justifying our move make all the sense. The plotting—yearly plans with schools and budgets and careers and timing—makes sense too. Leaving Amanda makes no sense. And it matters nothing because I can’t get off the plane and unbuckle my children and walk down the airplane aisle with my husband to run to her and say, I love you. You are my home and I will stay with you forever. Let’s build something that will hold us and a future we can name. 

When I imagine that plane ride home—now with wipes for the seats, premade snacks, stickers and coloring pads in Ziploc bags—I imagine listening as the flight attendant instructs us about what to do in an emergency. “First put on your own mask,” he’ll say. “Take care of yourself first.” But like everyone else on this plane, I know that if it came down to it, we’d put on our family’s oxygen first and save ourselves last. 

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See Amanda’s side of the story, When Friendship Saves Us Part 1 and Part 2

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The DEN Meditation

Go here if: you are looking for a space to deepen your understanding of meditative practices.

What is it: A drop-in studio for guided meditation with two Los Angeles locations founded by Tal Rabinowitz, former VP of Comedy Development at NBC (think The Mindy Project and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt).

What you need to know: Burned out on the entertainment business, Rabinowitz started meditating for all the reasons we now associate with the practice like destressing and finding calm. But she also found that it helped her get to know herself better and brought clarity about decisions going forwards. When Rabinowitz struggled to find the time to fit in her daily practice, she looked for a place that she could go – where she could be held accountable, experience the social benefits of a community, and learn a range of practices. When she couldn’t find the space that she needed, she started The DEN Meditation to be that place for herself and others.

What they offer online and off: During closed times, live and on-demand classes and workshops can be found at DENAnywhere. You can also listen to the DENtalks Podcast in which Rabinowitz hosts conversations with inspiring guests who share their experiences of how they found their way.

Why we think it’s different: Amongst the first of LA’s guided meditation studios, The DEN Meditation is designed to make the practice accessible to everyone and to make it easier to bring into people’s everyday lives. Classes are designed to fit within daily routines, many are just 30 minutes long. The studio feels universal, it's secular in its approach, with guided meditations from all styles and no specific lineage or spiritual practice. The space is intended to feel more like a home, comfortable for whoever walks through the door, as welcoming as a living room. That means brick walls, chenille, natural floors, and fabrics from India, rather than buddhas, lotus flowers, and mandalas. As Rabinowitz has said: “No one should feel they have to be a certain way to show up.”

In their own words: “Whether you want to learn how to meditate, find a home for your meditation practice, or just want to give yourself peace of mind in this fast-paced world, join us at The DEN. Come as you are. Leave feeling better.”

One piece of advice: Meditation can be intimidating, particularly if our idea of it might be 3-day silent retreats in monastic settings. But start small, really small, if you are new to the practice. Like two minutes. Be kind to yourself. Go slowly. Build up to 10 minutes, then 20-minute daily sessions. Make meditation an Atomic Habit – try it at the moment before you wake up and before you check your phone, or when you’re about to get into bed and have just brushed your teeth. Find ways to stack it on another habit, it will make finding the time to meditate easier. 

To find out more: Website / Instagram / Facebook / Twitter

Additionally, try: Re:Mind / Spirit Rock